Death is so easy,
Life is so hard to bare.
I have cut my arms and said that
true love is rare.

Cradle of Flith
Thank God For The Suffering

I, I still recall, the first fullmoon of May
'Neath whose rays we lay together And those bright nights on glassy waves When we would glide lightly away From the grain For wicked flights of pleasure Those visions fade
Like ghosts to life's parade Though incisions once made her so vivid A scarlet whore With both heels in the door
Of a heaven severed from me, insipid
And midst the writhe of parapets
Where angels sigh, lonely she sits
Upon the lip Only a slip from whence I beg Her That I would wish Her kiss a chrysalis
To break to make my fluttered heart amiss
And in those frozen moments won
From grief that creeps to wreathe the sun
in drapes inwove with deathshead wing
I thank God for the suffering Love would have conquered all But for the Rapture
That ancient plan for my defeat
Denied Faith skies that would have set Her free It seems again dreams wend to capture
Once dancing in a spotlit waltz
Through shadowed dimension
Given to the rivers that bedizened Her eyes
The world drifted by in lost momentum
With no divine intervention Regardless that the author Of sin was me and I
Lay chaste of hate in Faith's embrace
As Mortals warred with more besides
They warred with life itself
And in those frozen moments won
From grief that creeps to wreathe the sun
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing
[I thank God for the suffering]
And [I thank God for the suffering]
As still I burn For Her return
I would make my peace with everything
I, I still recall, the first fullmoon of May
Consigned to flames like secret letters
And midst the writhe of parapets
Where angels sigh, lonely she sits
Upon the lip Only a slip from whence I beg her That I would wish Her kiss a chrysalis
To break to make my fluttered heart amiss
And in those frozen moments won
From grief that creeps to wreathe the sun
In drapes inwove with deathshead wing
[I thank God for the suffering]
Love would have conquered all
Were we not parted Her splintered loss rekindles rage The winter frost dwindles across my stage Lit up once more to score finales started
[Love would have conquered all
Love would have conquered...
Hate]

I have gone into working for the goverment. I am an United States Salior of the Navy. I love my job and love my country. First off I went to Spain, I walked every were I could. They have beautiful beaches. When I got there it was so cloudy that the sun seemed to be on dim. I loved every minute of it. It started brighting up again around 5. I went to a bar. The bar tender was cool. How much vodka I can hold is another storie.There were some places were the buildings were so close that the streets looked like alleys but cars would drive on them.I went to a church. It had statues of Jesus and what I think is Mary. They had pantings everywere also. Then I went to Italy the place I went to does not have that much stuff going on but I am sure it is fun here. I just spend my time with things that are walking distance. I have been flying so much. But flying is fun. I am going to the Persain Golf. Sadly That is where I am going to go to work. Hopefully I will be able to write bout me adventures there when I am not busy. The vaction is over but, the adventure is just begun.

Darkness fills my eyes,
no longer will I see the sunrise,
The filth clouds my veins,
I am a ghost that remains,
just with a body,
extra large sweat shirt and a black hoodie,
covers My daemon eyes and wings,
long for yesterday for I am what tommorrow brings.

words are hollow, even the one word love,
I know its hard to swollow, but no one is a pure dove,
With friendship in the equation,
it helps us to not stray for Immation,
to hold on to your special someone,
and to forsake that one night fun,
I will be your friend, and you can
be mine it will make a love that will not bend,
in the summer will not melt, in the winter it will not wilt, in time it will not change,
in the timeless void it will remain the same.

dreams flow through me, My mind erases what I see,
Something that could have helped me to
live a peaceful life,
but all I do is walk hand in hand with strife,
in a world made up of worlds,
My heart is broken and torn into thirds,
I suffer not because I feel pain,
but I see the hardships and torement of people
by in the drops of rain.

days and months flow together,
the roses I bought you begin to wither,
we lived in fall of Egypt that was so long ago,
now we live in the city I am homesick seeing all the snow,
how could I be with you here with me,
you are my world and the stars that I have light,
loveing and talking that doesnt end with night,

My anger eats me alive. No friends to help me or to see.
I just sit here and rock back and forth. dont want to live
anymore. I hate the world, not the ppl. lol the world itself, ppl would be alright if we dont have to live here.
Everybody would be nice, and kind to each other. The more I look in my bible the more I see the things that are messed up in the world.

days of hearing the deafing silence, noone to talk to
stareing at the Abyss and the Abyss stareing back at you.
And this is one of the good days.
you try to reach out to someone, All they are
an empty shell of a person.
They look deader than a person 6ft in the ground.
they have no love in there hearts.
its sad to see, wanting so bad to see a smile on their
emotional less faces.

I remember the old days as a distane dream.
I lived in Egypt, eating honey raw. I loved
everything I saw. the trees that surounded the oasis, to the
desert. Its white sand looked like snow it the twlight.
The white pyramids in their great height. The women
with their headresses on. Their ebony skin and little
clothes on. I loved playing the number game,
Guessing names. I remember the great plauges that fall upon
great Egypt. Yet my life does not end there.
I lived to go to see the birth of one of the Queens of Ireland in 1677.
The only thing that made me remember was that her birth day fell upon my birthday Feb the 6th. I drink beer and smoked cigs in bars, all night long. We singed till our throats got dry and drunk some more. Then I moved to Americia I watched the down fall of The Native Americans. Oh how my heart sank, nothing more ever got to me. I had all the power in the world yet I could not change
what happened. I would have to kill all of the Europeans to stop them. I think someone would notice armies disappering. Now its 2005 so much has changed. I miss the old clothes
of the 1800's. the ruffled shirts with the puffed out shelevs. The old way of dating, where people stayed together.The blood of the people was of one race. There is nothing more beautiful than a pure blooded Egyptian or Irish women, now they have at least 1% of a diff. blood mixed in o have it kills the taste. It is so amazing bout how much people learned over the years. All the good days are gone. They do not make the wonder chamber music anymore. Roleing with time yet being swept away by it all.

I dreamt that was playing around with some people.
The way they acted we all were at age 10. hehe
Any ways, I as running around with them and playing.
I don't know what type of game but I saw myself play slaping a boy in the face. He don't seemed hurt by it, but wanting to do it too. then in my dream I was in a bed room.
Where I saw my good friend Bethanie and her exgirl friend
Carrie. My guess is that Carrie was giveing Bethanie a spoonful of Mustard everytime Bethanie wanted a cig. Poor Bethanie had mustard all around her lips. I asked if she wanted a none nicotine cig. and Bethanie asked why don't I tell her bout those kind of cigs.

Quiting smoking so I started smoking none nicotine
cigs. the perfect solution right?
Also I wanted to gain weight and to stop staying up so late
but today I ate mostly junk food. I had sugar based cereal.
a little of chips and some cookies.
I and up 5:00am right now. its crazy.
hehe = ^ - ^ = don't know what to do with myself.
but I get a lot of reading to do. I have the Complete works of
Sir William Shakespeare to keep my wondering mind busy
bye for now going to read Romeo and Juliet.