Mushrooms are becoming illegal soon... I have decided to make the most of what I have left and take the highest dose I can possibly afford... which works out at roughly 170grams...

Im going to the next level, It's the only way I'l ever truely know...

Life is going to be different by the end of tonight...

Prey I come back with something interesting to say...

I love you... x

Threshold Effects : (from .25gm - .75gms P. Cubensis)
Slight cold feeling, mild gas or nausea, nervous-feeling, slight pupil-dilation, mild visual changes including lights seeming brighter, lights having a 'starry' look, and noticing movement at the periphery of vision, giddiness, feeling more emotionally sensitive, and many other effects related to a change in neurochemistry.

Medium Effects : (0.75gm - 2.5gms P. Cubensis)
'Cold' feeling, gas and/or stomach discomfort, nausea, pupil-dilation, open-eye visual effects: lights gain auras, star-pattern effects, rainbowing around lighting, lights seem brighter, often 'more beautiful', notice movement in periphery, sometimes increased ability to focus, sometimes reduced ability to focus, visual field 'distracting', visual field 'entertaining', closed eye 'visuals': normal closed eye 'blobs' take on patterns, shapes, distinct forms, increased ability to visualize creatively, spontaneous detailed images, feelings of time-dilation, feelings of `coming home again' which is often more pronounced for those who have used mushrooms before, feelings of belonging and connection, increased emotional sensitivity, increased ability to focus on emotional problems or memories, chance of becoming 'caught in a loop' thinking / dwelling on a single thought or feeling (usually negative or painful), realizations about past feelings, realizations about how to live, gain a new perspective on current lifestyle and behaviors, feelings of connection with those around you, noticing things which are normally ignored or taken for granted, feelings of wonder, spirit, joy, sadness, despair, religious awakening, contentment and possibly latent psychological crises can come out..

High Dose Effects : (2.5gm - 10gms)
All of the Medium Effects, usually with a significantly more uncomfortable Coming Up, more pronounced nausea sometimes (rarely) resulting in vomiting, sometimes significant mental discomfort associated with feelings of fear and often times accompanying a "what have I done to myself" or "how far am I going" thought, the unpleasant Coming Up effects usually lessen with familiarity and more knowledge about the safety and character of mushroom effects. High Dose Effects are usually characterized by the closed eye visualizations being significantly more elaborate and enfolding, religious revelation, spiritual awakening, near death experiences, loss of self, talking to seemingly external, autonomous entities, extreme emotional responses, repressed memories coming to life, latent psychological crises can come to the surface, an increase in artistic sense, and intense feelings of wonder, connection, joy, fear. High Dose Effects can also include extreme time-dilation, with experiences of wall-clock minutes taking an experientially large amount of time, watching clocks or digital counters where the seconds seem to take minutes to count off. One of the most interesting effects is the feeling of awakening for the first time ever from a previous state of sleep, of liberation from what is now seen as a life-long state of bondage. Paradoxically, it is this new awareness which feels normal and natural and the previous fog which is seen to have been unreal all along. The bemushroomed seeker is convinced that, once gained, this awareness is impossible to lose, but inexplicably by the next day it is just a memory.

Heaven knows.

Come now hear this song I cry.

To those that want but never try.

God said once we had it well.

I can only guess the height we fell.

Somewhere up is the place of dreams.

A place of right, impossible it seems.

Once called Heaven it looks like hell.

How far is the height we fell?

Mr. Full stop.

A nonsical noise that he begins with finish.

Once ignored, now amend with his wish.

This man he knows so well the end.

He's past the need of words to send.

A period of silence shapes this man's rouse.

Now that he knows we'll watch him abuse.

Trick question.

Lit with matches and intended to burn.

This cabin fever is what I had to learn.

When we become one and not at all.

This is the begining of a love-waterfall.

Shit, My worst fears are becoming a reality, Cabin fever has struck and I'm to blame... God forgive me.

I'm going to a pretty place now, where flowers grow, I'll be back in an hour or so...

Virgin.

This rendevouz between what's known and what's not.

A once blank canvas now endowed with the lot.

Eagerly scribbled my hand ends with intruige.

A request to recipicate is all that I plead.

One word that exists to explain yourself clear.

Come end this battle between truth and fear.

Still no reply from God.

Trying, I swear.

Truth is merely a lie agreed upon.

A blind whisper of sanity.

Once affiliation becomes demand.

We look to the king for his wise charm.

This is not a poem but a prayer.

A messege to the bastians of sanity.

Blessed are they our holders of truth.

Our keepers of right.

Now then shall we become this.

When all is lost beyond sight.

Tell me now who is of the light?

Amen.

Paper cup prejudice

Distant feet did wonder upon thee.

This old creep did cry unto me.

All this and more for tears that run.

All his gallore for this empty fun.

Claire, Im OK.

Bizarrely enough I could of been dead. quiet easily.

Thankyou for the concern.

x

wrote a letter to god...

it says...

''I hope you get this.

alex.''

I'll post it tomorrow and see what happens.

x

4.37 mins

Birth has become the forgotten flame.

Extinguished from start with time to blame.

This drag breeds content for a line that is bent.

This smoke we inhale to exhale it is meant.

The pursuit for cool fades against will.

The life we chose in the ashtray we kill.

Some day joining you ingorant fools on your perpetual victory march will be the only thing left to do.

Standing on the other side of the river smiling with my middle finger up that those that can see.

Untill then?

Well I wonder.</center>

Two types of people in this world. Which dictate how you live your life more than anything else...

There are the... ''I know that you know I know'' people... and the ''I know that you dont know I know'' people...

which one you are is irrelevant because only the other person will know.

The point is, is that you should never over complicate a situation with false hope.

If a conversation does not consist of the basic premises that the exachange of 'I know' far out weighs 'I dont know'
Then dont kid yourself into thinking the person or yourself are worth talking to.

'Tis The mystery of human chemistry.

Affiliaton.

From absurd to straight this distance we negate.

When cold becomes warm for sake of debate.

Seek comfort through words that mean we know.

Untill one will forsee the other one grow.

Never thought I would ever feel like this but I really really hope that I'm nothing more than an average teenager falling into a cliche I'm unaware of. Please god.

I just want to be normal now. Please. Please. Please. Please....

I dont know now.

Shit.

Deceit is merely truth.

Your fault not mine.

Reflect off of black, not a sign of self back.

You wont see me be, my colours run free.

Truth wont succeed, now let the lies breed.

I'm lost for words now, no need to ask how.