I have nothing to say and I've just said it.

So here we are, in this life its been

Expectations seem not to mean

The same thing we dream of them being

Without believing this thing we call seeing.

So here we are, not long to go now

I wonder how far we got to go and how

A clown once said that now is how we found

This life we dislike, we frown

Untill the sun sets down.

So here we are, the end a disapointment.

They don't issue you ointment

The scars were never meant

To be noticed but sight and scent

is what matters, what is meant

The blue sky and smell of roses it should of went,

but we're bent

If we had just lent love and affection

Instead of torment.

So here we are now.

People I dislike...

Rich people that think poor is cool.

Happy people that think depression is cool.

Sane people that think insanity is cool.

Here's a poem for youl...

This one's for you

I'm a poet and you can be too.

Follow this because rhyming is true.

Wear brown leather shoes and dont cut your hair.

Drink red wine and pretend not to care.

Write about emotions and things that matter.

Wait untill someone suggests something to flatter.

Smoke roll ups all day and listen to Dylan.

This is how you become a poet, now go kill'em.

These are for someone I once considered very, very amazing and cherished her opinion greatly...

All I ask is that you do not let your insecurities rule conversation.

In turn, I promise you fame.

Thou art that.

This that I am you are.

A word decided for the liar.

We present ourselves through formulated manouvers.

Fit for a king these truth abusers.

Now tell me what you are that I am not.

A queen no king would sell for the lot.

Sin.

This one for you that I do not see.

I trust in you that it could be me.

A perspective no less that I wish I was in.

God are you to acknowledge my sin.

Nothing.

Like watching a plane pass out of view.

This life I chose is given to you.

Knock down this door for a sight less scary.

I'd rather be jack than john smith wary.

Hmm?.. today my beliefs come to question... So here it is for those that were unsure...

I always preach that God is infact all of us...

But I also believe there is a higher conciousness that is the one. I'm not religious though.. Because I understand that God never was trying to sell himself.. Humans created that concept themselves because as a whole we're just very insecure and need to convince ourselves its all going to be fine if we do something a certain way.

Humans thrive on that which has a formula.

Once you realise this you realise everything else and life becomes so much easier.

That is all.

Thankyou.

The Pope is gone...

I'm sure he's somewhere near crashing towards heaven at a heavy downward speed right about now...

How do you think God will react to his narcissism and blatant sin?

What they meant.

Quit the plans please.
Get your hands free.

This life ain't happenin' again.
This world a gift for playin'.

Stop the life of parody.
You got the past to see.

Recieved a response to my letter to God...

It says:

Hello Alex,

This is Joseph. E of The Galaxy of Independance,

Thank you very much for your letter. You can rest assured that God has read your letter and has kindly asked that you have this certificate as a gift.

As you can see, the certificate clearly identifies you as the sole owner and possesor of Earth and it's cohabitors.

God Bless,

Joseph. E

Guess that means I was right...

Told you so.

(I'll scan the certificate when my scanner appears)

2005-APR-06: Warren Jeffs, the prophet of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has predicted the end of the world at least three times in recent years. He has gathered his followers to be lifted up into heaven with him. Each time, the apocalypse did not materialize. Jeffs explained that the delay was caused by the unfaithfulness of the membership. There is speculation that he is planning something dramatic on 2005-APR-06. This will be the 150th anniversary of the founding of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Joseph Smith.

To feel a sense of urgency for no apparent reason is true suffering.

To try and explain this sense of urgency to someone else and have them disregard it is worse still.

Wait here while I go get sane alex on the phone...

Lee is The Key.

Tails never fails.

Rhyming is truth.

Me and Matthew are well and truely fucked... So delluded in eachothers existance, that we have no idea if we're sane or not...

It went something like this...

He is Tony Blaire and I am Gordon Brown,

He tries to explain to me that Gordon brown is actually the brains behind Tony's success and that I am infact the more intelligent of the two.

I then explain that I accept that he thinks I'm the most intelligent and therefore must take my word that he has the upper hand of the two of us.

He then responds with 'Precisely', and wonders how I dont see the greater metaphore behind the conversation.

I then explain that yes I see the point but it's irrelevant because I realised it before he did.

And on and on it goes...

We're stuck.

You can't begine to imagine the urgency of my problem...

Trust me.

You have to wonder....

Is a man, who for no real reason, is convinced that he probably hasn't pissed on himself, actually sane?

Precisely.

Realised I'm the most intelligent person alive and the only person that believes me is missing the point.

Now do you see my predicament?

What is going on?

The full stop is the key to all communication.

The Ice age is really coming.

Everyone jump.

Now.

Mushrooms are becoming illegal soon... I have decided to make the most of what I have left and take the highest dose I can possibly afford... which works out at roughly 170grams...

Im going to the next level, It's the only way I'l ever truely know...

Life is going to be different by the end of tonight...

Prey I come back with something interesting to say...

I love you... x

Threshold Effects : (from .25gm - .75gms P. Cubensis)
Slight cold feeling, mild gas or nausea, nervous-feeling, slight pupil-dilation, mild visual changes including lights seeming brighter, lights having a 'starry' look, and noticing movement at the periphery of vision, giddiness, feeling more emotionally sensitive, and many other effects related to a change in neurochemistry.

Medium Effects : (0.75gm - 2.5gms P. Cubensis)
'Cold' feeling, gas and/or stomach discomfort, nausea, pupil-dilation, open-eye visual effects: lights gain auras, star-pattern effects, rainbowing around lighting, lights seem brighter, often 'more beautiful', notice movement in periphery, sometimes increased ability to focus, sometimes reduced ability to focus, visual field 'distracting', visual field 'entertaining', closed eye 'visuals': normal closed eye 'blobs' take on patterns, shapes, distinct forms, increased ability to visualize creatively, spontaneous detailed images, feelings of time-dilation, feelings of `coming home again' which is often more pronounced for those who have used mushrooms before, feelings of belonging and connection, increased emotional sensitivity, increased ability to focus on emotional problems or memories, chance of becoming 'caught in a loop' thinking / dwelling on a single thought or feeling (usually negative or painful), realizations about past feelings, realizations about how to live, gain a new perspective on current lifestyle and behaviors, feelings of connection with those around you, noticing things which are normally ignored or taken for granted, feelings of wonder, spirit, joy, sadness, despair, religious awakening, contentment and possibly latent psychological crises can come out..

High Dose Effects : (2.5gm - 10gms)
All of the Medium Effects, usually with a significantly more uncomfortable Coming Up, more pronounced nausea sometimes (rarely) resulting in vomiting, sometimes significant mental discomfort associated with feelings of fear and often times accompanying a "what have I done to myself" or "how far am I going" thought, the unpleasant Coming Up effects usually lessen with familiarity and more knowledge about the safety and character of mushroom effects. High Dose Effects are usually characterized by the closed eye visualizations being significantly more elaborate and enfolding, religious revelation, spiritual awakening, near death experiences, loss of self, talking to seemingly external, autonomous entities, extreme emotional responses, repressed memories coming to life, latent psychological crises can come to the surface, an increase in artistic sense, and intense feelings of wonder, connection, joy, fear. High Dose Effects can also include extreme time-dilation, with experiences of wall-clock minutes taking an experientially large amount of time, watching clocks or digital counters where the seconds seem to take minutes to count off. One of the most interesting effects is the feeling of awakening for the first time ever from a previous state of sleep, of liberation from what is now seen as a life-long state of bondage. Paradoxically, it is this new awareness which feels normal and natural and the previous fog which is seen to have been unreal all along. The bemushroomed seeker is convinced that, once gained, this awareness is impossible to lose, but inexplicably by the next day it is just a memory.

Heaven knows.

Come now hear this song I cry.

To those that want but never try.

God said once we had it well.

I can only guess the height we fell.

Somewhere up is the place of dreams.

A place of right, impossible it seems.

Once called Heaven it looks like hell.

How far is the height we fell?

Mr. Full stop.

A nonsical noise that he begins with finish.

Once ignored, now amend with his wish.

This man he knows so well the end.

He's past the need of words to send.

A period of silence shapes this man's rouse.

Now that he knows we'll watch him abuse.

Trick question.

Lit with matches and intended to burn.

This cabin fever is what I had to learn.

When we become one and not at all.

This is the begining of a love-waterfall.

Shit, My worst fears are becoming a reality, Cabin fever has struck and I'm to blame... God forgive me.