[papillon.]'s diary

579190  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-05-21
Written: (6983 days ago)

Redemption for kings.

You won't learn anything. I watch the glass bitch smirk. A stand in for thought. I made a writer girl work. Quills and paper wont do this love justice. I'll fill my glass and urge her to suss this. Whoever gives happiness ties hidden knots. The emperor's new clothes came in a box. Now the time has come to jump ship or fence. The least I can do is end this pretence. You never knew I could be so smug. You never considered that I pulled the rug. The king ammoung blind. I lay my sight down to find. Now the king ammoung kings. I make jest of these things.

I can give you life. I can take it away. I created this game. Now I'm not gonna play.

You all missed the point.

578723  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-20
Written: (6983 days ago)

This thing will soon be active again... Just wait untill I see the light one more time.

578719  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-20
Written: (6983 days ago)

If you think 'cool' is in your grasp then you're grievously mistaken.


Cool is what happens when you're looking the other way.


Van Gogh never painted the Sunflowers because they were beautiful, they were beautiful because Van Gogh painted them.


Likewise, Bob Dylan was never cool because his name was Bob Dylan, The name Bob Dylan is cool because it belonged to him.


Maybe I won't make sense to you.


Maybe one day you'll realise something and think I'm God, or something. I seriously doubt it though.


Hmm...

572048  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (6993 days ago)
Next in thread: 572113

She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge
she studied sculpture at St Martin's college
that's where I
caught her eye
She told me that her Dad was loaded
I said "In that case I'll have rum and coca-cola."
she said "Fine,"
and then in thirty seconds time she said
"I want to live like common people
I want to do whatever common people do
I want to sleep with common people
I want to sleep with common people like you."
or what else could I do?
I said "I'll see what I can do."

I took her to a supermarket
I don't know why, but I had to start it somewhere
so it started there
I said "Pretend you've got no money."
but she just laughed an said "Oh you're so funny."
I said "Yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here
Are you sure?
Are you sure you want to live like common people
you want to see whatever common people see
you want to sleep with common people
you want to sleep with common people like me?"
But she didn't understand
she just smiled and held my hand

Rent a flat above a shop
cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags and play some pool
pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
`cos when you're laid in bed at night
watching roaches climb the wall
if you called your Dad he could stop it all
Yeah
You'll never live like common people
you'll never do what common people do
you'll never fail like common people
you'll never watch your life slide out of view
and then dance, and drink, and screw
because there's nothing else to do

Sing along with the common people
sing along and it might just get you through
Laugh along with the common people
laugh along even though they're laughing at you
and the stupid things that you do
because you think that poor is cool

Like a dog lying in a corner
they will bite and never warn you
Look out
they'll tear your insides out
`cos everybody hates a tourist
especially one who thinks it's
all such a laugh
yeah and the chip stain's grease will come out in the bath
You will never understand
how it feels to live your life
with no meaning or control
and with nowhere else to go
You are amazed that they exist
and they burn so bright whilst you can only wonder why

Rent a flat above a shop
cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags and play some pool
pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
`cos when you're laid in bed at night
watching roaches climb the wall
if you called your Dad he could stop it all
You'll never live like common people
you'll never do what common people do
you'll never fail like common people
you'll never watch your life slide out of view
and dance, and drink, and screw
because there's nothing else to do

I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
I want to live with common people like you
Aa-aa-ah la la la la...
Oh yeah.  carolina

Common People - Pulp

570235  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-06
Written: (6997 days ago)

Don't listen to me, come and see for yourself.

Now I am here I will tell you what I see, a clown crossing the road, a blind man pretending to see, a preacher questioning me, a rich man crying to be free.

Have I ruined it all for you, shattered what was so true to you? Turned rose into blue for you? I'll take all the blame for you, question your intelligence for you, and laugh as my mind tries to be you.

I still see pink when I think, can taste the sweet drink before I notice the boat sink, I can still feel the warm air, the breeze blowing through my hair, and wonder why I ever had a care.

Now you try to be there.

569331  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-05
Written: (6998 days ago)

If you work it out, tell me what you find.





I'm a pseudo charlatan that plays poker.
(Because irony is cool, apparently.)


I have a detrimental love for Golden Virginia, expensive red wine and Valium.
(Because tangible things make me feel like being cool is justified.)




Because it takes a genius making a fool of themselves to prove a point.





You're all insane.


Apart from the minority...


Who are either self-proclaimed geniuses, locked up in some kind of institute... Or both.




We don't want the loonies taking over.
"Tiptoe round tie them down."





Something to think about...


Society is based on the principle that only the ''teacher'' is worth listening to and not the person standing next to you.


The sad truth is that you'd all be a lot smarter right now if I was Johnny Depp or the lead singer of some crappy 'Emo' band.


Fucking morons.




Everyone please just wake the fuck up... It's getting so lonely.




Some stuff I don't mind sharing...


Songs worth hearing: Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis by Tom Waits, Second class citizen by Colour of Fire, Karma Police by Radiohead, Fix up look sharp by Dizzee Rascal, All these things that I've done by The Killers, Perfect day by Lou Reed, Maps by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, My 1st single by Eminem, More than woman by Pink Grease, Tom's Dina by Suzanne Vega, Express yourself by NWA, Little Thoughts by Bloc Party, Idioteque by Radiohead, Needle in the hay by Elliott Smith, Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan, Citizen erased by Muse, Love will tear us apart by Joy Division, This charming man by The Smiths, District sleeps alone tonight by Postal service, The New Year by Death Cab for cutie, Rainy day woman by Bob Dylan, Oxygen by Willy Mason, No woman no cry by Bob Marley, Fake plastic trees by Radiohead, Imagine by John Lennon, Hounds of love by The Futureheads, A forest by The Cure, Lucy in the sky with diamonds by The Beatles, All mapped out by The Departure, Blowing in the wind by Bob Dylan, Bang bang by Nancy Sinatra, The man who told everything by The Doves, I heard it through the grapevine by Marvin Gaye, Window licker by Aphex twin, Visions of Johanna by Bob Dylan, Plug in baby by Muse, Heaven knows I'm miserable now by The Smiths, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins, Gimme some more By Busta Rhymes, Banquet by Bloc party, Underwear goes inside the pants by Lazyboy, When I see an elephant fly from the movie 'Dumbo', Do I have your attention by The Blood arm, Apply some pressure by Maximo Park, Mission Impossible by Limp Bizkit, What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong, Sinnerman By Nina Simone, Dont look back in anger by Oasis, Brand new colony by Postal service, Seen the light by Supergrass, Cannonball by Damien Rice, Drug ballad by Eminem, So here we are by Bloc party, First day of my life by Bright Eyes, Formed a band by Art Brut, She dont use jelly by The Flaming lips, Meantime by The Futureheads, 21 seconds by So Solid, Emily Kane by Art Brut, Golden Brown by The Stranglers, Road to nowhere by The Talking Heads, Ever fallen in love by The Buzzcocks


Books worth reading: Mobius Dick by Andrew Crumey, Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh, High Fidelity by Nick Hornby, The Comedy Writer by Peter Farrelly, The curious incident of the dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon, Impossibility by John D. Barrow, Hypernotomachia Poliphili by an Unknown Author, Diary of a Madman and other stories by Nikolai Gogol, Paperweight by Stephen Fry, The third policeman by Flann O'Brien, The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nausea by Jean Paul Sartre, The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery




So here's the punchline...


Read something else.


This one is nonsense, not meant to make sense, a matter of irrelevance, so dont pay by the pence, just read the begining, since the end is of no more importance. Isn't it stupid? To write about nothingness, and pretend no less that this is poetry's finest, probably my best. Did I explain the end is pointless? You'd be better off reading the title again it might explain that you can avoid the pain of disdain if you ignore this and remain dignified in your intelligence because this is nothing more than a false pretence, a matter of no great consequence. Do you feel cheated? maybe slightly heated? The prospect of losing time for not a dime, merely a rhyme, now try to find the humor in all this, I was always taking the piss, did you miss the point, miss-joint the meanings and think serious things will spill from this inferior thing I sing? You clearly was not listening, now go back to the begining and learn something, I'm not pretending, this is the ending.




If you don’t have a smile on your face,
you must not have a lower jaw.



Thank you.
567953  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-03
Written: (7000 days ago)
Next in thread: 568196

I have decided to leave elftown, indefinitely,

I'm resigning my title as The Patron Saint Of Switchblade Fights.

Reasons for leaving are mainly due to a lack of understanding.

On your part and mine.

If I'm remembered for anything at all, it has to be a vision created by yours truely.

I'm screaming at the top of my lungs...

'You're Missing The Point!!!'

That is all. Bye xxx

564084  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-29
Written: (7005 days ago)
Next in thread: 564086

when every entry in a diary becomes something to marval, what becomes of anticipation?...

563746  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-04-28
Written: (7005 days ago)
Next in thread: 563802

square peg, round hole, this time we'll try something different.
The left side know's you're wrong, the right side takes too long, Let's try something different. Happy face, a charlatans case, So now let's try something different...

562713  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-04-27
Written: (7006 days ago)
Next in thread: 562714

(work in progress)

Oh now stop this thing that persists, let me acknowledge a moment exist, when present becomes past and future comes fast, what is the feeling we know from the last? Memories are liars that exist merely to lend, For one moment please let time come to end, let me acknowledge the feeling of freind...

Oh but the paradox knocks, says 'pull up your socks', waves key at the locks and explains the impossibility of time stopping for a moment, because time cannot but be spent, it is meant to be lent, a moment would consist of time passing and for this to happen would mean time surpassing the request to

554756  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-04-18
Written: (7015 days ago)

Something or other

This is a warning to those without that thing, a soul, you have a hole created by the prospect of a goal worth achieving, the truth is that you're decieving your inner being so close your eyes and try see him, God, that's you, yes you're God, actually I am untill you start believing and then start speaking 'I am what I'm thinking', now stop blinking look at the world start shrinking, to a tiny space for you to think in, a place where no one else can get a wink in. This is the first day of your life.

553053  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-16
Written: (7017 days ago)

If I were Jack - Part Two

Here take some of these, they're E's, they'll make you love trees and say please can I touch your knees, but ignore that feeling for now I must warn you of the comedown, it will make you frown, make you want to hit a clown, you'll just want to lie down and hear no sound but for now enjoy your new found happiness it will be the best feeling ever during any weather, I know it's not clever to use substances to replicate circumstances but this is the life for me, did I not explain you'll want to hug a tree? you're going down anyway, the iceberg is on its way, this may seem gay put can we play? You'll start feeling it in a bit, for now just sit and think happy thoughts, we wont get caught, hey here's a thought! Can I touch your breasts? Lay down and lets test our feelings for one another, you want another? Here have four, no more because these damage your back, you'll hear a crack and wont be able to walk, talk or eat for that matter. You feeling a little up now? I told you so, so now lets play silly word games, like replacing words in movies names with 'cake', watch it's real fun, 'Something about cake', now you try, dont be shy, oh you have an idea? 'cake fear', bravo! now lets go play in the snow! the snow? Well there's no tomorrow, no time to borrow, glad you never said no? Look the ship is turning up, lets run up to the top so we can watch people drop and not stop, ok now the comedown begines, you'll think depressing things and even daydream things that make no sense, utter nonsense, like sheep driving cars or jumping to Mars, We'll also talk less so I must stress, that this is the best night ever, regardless of the weather. I love you. Goodbye.

552958  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-16
Written: (7017 days ago)

If I were Jack.

Iceberg ahead! Get out of your bed, did you hear what I said? Theres an iceberg aimed for your head. Quit the toungue twisting and start listening, maths wont help you here, your worst fear, it's clear. This is your chance for freedom and some other feelings that aren't created proceedings of other things caused by needings directly relative to false believings. Try drugs or music that isn't in hugs with corporate thugs, fuck those mugs, be in love.
Look into yourself question your fears, are they related to the eyes and ears of your peers? Get a hold of yourself, you're not an elf, you wrongly value wealth, you place yourself on a shelf, with boxes and in those boxes are foxes sharp and witty apparently they appear to be. I'd like to see a human quality that was not based on hipocrocy, what about self belief?

551888  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7018 days ago)

Read something else.

This one is nonsense, not meant to make sense, a matter of irrelevance, so dont pay by the pence, just read the begining, since the end is of no more importance. Isn't it stupid? To write about nothingness, and pretend no less that this is poetry's finest, probably my best. Did I explain the end is pointless? You'd be better off reading the title again it might explain that you can avoid the pain of disdain if you ignore this and remain dignified in your intelligence because this is nothing more than a false pretence, a matter of no great consequence. Do you feel cheated? maybe slightly heated? The prospect of losing time for not a dime, merely a rhyme, now try to find the humor in all this, I was always taking the piss, did you miss the point, mis-joint the meanings and think serious things will spill from this inferior thing I sing? You clearly was not listening, now go back to the begining and learn something, I'm not pretending, this is the ending.

551863  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7018 days ago)

Trust me.

This concept that rules the day, makes no sense, am I gay?, I've never said I'm not, but I've spoke of some hot females with trails of tales so dont question this fact, do you see my point that this oint-ment is meant to create a preference and since whence has this become relevent of this life so bent? The media warped histeria could be the marta of trust because lust is a money making thrust by the companies to please females that need to feel better in this world that is wetter than you want to believe so dont be naive just believe in me when I approach this concept with caution, Trust is truth abortion, men and woman are just organs, to trust someone is distortion and pays the media, if I smell like Ralf Lauren or Hugo Boss for men then I'm accepted as friend because this is the right thing for men a messege to send to women to then judge on appreciation and when this is all taken away we then have a lot of ways to distiguish that it's wrong for you to belong in a world where trust matters aslong as you belong to someone that flatters.

551835  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7018 days ago)

A sorry, a hand shake and a good bye

That thought never crossed my mind, I'm blind, not designed to find your metaphore, a brain law, You share with no more, than three or four other weirdos, with hair that grows, manky toes, a big noes and who knows what other traits I associate, with your mate as of late, I just wish I was not scary to you because Im wary of the few that make being lary true to you, so let us rejoice in this friendship of choice, lets make some noise and pretend that rhymes with 'choice', These words are toys, for little boys, to play with and find ploys to hate me and my noise, This is wrong my song is too long I'll end on the wrong side of this ride of a high tide so confide in me and let it be, see that I only wish to be free of hatred, it makes my face red with embarrasment and this is not meant to be sent the wrong way I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm sorry for the delay in my appology today, so listen to us, I mean I, watch me fly away now goodbye.

551687  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7019 days ago)

Ignorant, working class, wanker who smokes too much and knows it all. But atleast I gave you good ideas.

You love me.

Thankyou.

x

551679  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7019 days ago)

look at my first photo... the rose tinted glasses... yeah. precisely.... who won?

551645  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7019 days ago)

Im good looking, special and not as intelligent as I thought.

Ta da.

551612  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7019 days ago)

Capitalism = Take what you want, bribe the rest.

2+2=5

551602  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7019 days ago)
Next in thread: 551606

I hate you all, fucking tarts, the lot of you.

Scotland.




























































































(Morality)







































































































England.

 The logged in version 

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