Is it Right or is it Wrong?

Do you ever get that feeling in your gut? The feeling that you know what your about to do is wrong? But still you do it anyways… and sure enough, your feeling is right. Something goes wrong, how do you get out of the mess you just got yourself in? How about when you get that a different feeling in your gut, that you know that what you want to do is probably the right thing to do… but you do the complete opposite… and once again you have to find away out of your mess… it’s never an easy thing to do, you’ll lie and hide it, you’re just digging your own grave. So how do you know… Is it right or is it wrong? Hard choice, but somehow you always screw something up, and you always let somebody down, the people that mean the most to you.
It feels like your always hurting them, and it kills you inside. I ask myself how do I stop this? You try so hard, each and every time, trying to think… Is it right, or is it wrong? I’m screwing up, but I never mean to, I know I’m not the only one out there. I’m not perfect, but I want to be so bad, I want to make them proud, but I always let them down. I cry each night, looking out my window, at the stars, trying to find an answer to my problems. They never come to me. So every night, I taste my salty tears. In the dark I cry, I cry as softly as I can, but I can’t hold back these tears.
Is it right, or is it wrong? It’s always haunting me, the past, and reliving all my mistakes each night. A new one added to the list with each passing day. Soon I can’t sleep, the past haunts me. I try so hard to forget, and just start fresh. But no matter how hard I try I fear I’ll never know… is it right, or is it wrong? It used to be so easy when I was young. So answer me this, is it right or is it wrong?

~Samantha Jo Walker
~5/6/07

Love is a funny thing, it can hurt u... hurt u bad, but it makes u feel good inside the majority of the time, their kiss makes ur heart fly. When ur in bed with them your head is on their shoulder and your hand on their chest. You can fall asleep so easily laying in their arms. taking a walk on the beach with them could turn out to be the best day of ur life. The simplest things they do for u, they mean the most. The fact that your safe and that they'll be there for u whenever you need them, feels incredible. walking hand in hands, you just never want to let go... you can look at them and let all fear and pain go. They just stroke your hair and you'll cuddle on the couch for hours at a time. A movie can turn into more than that. When ur sick and throwing up, they hold your hair back. simple things like a hug mean so much more. You never want to say goodbye and good for you, you'll never have to. They smile at you and you lose all self control. They've probobly been your friend for years, strongest realationship, cause they've seen you at your worst. You've cried in front of them and they keep you close, hold you tight and wipe your tears away. You mean more to them than anybody or anyting else. they love you through the fights, the screaming matches, the good and the bad times. You can say the meanest things, things you know you don't mean, and they won't care, they'll still be there. Love really is a funny thing.

An Ocean Apart

When the lights go out in my room, I sit in the darkness as a tear from my left eye and another from my right fall slowly down my cheeks...I remember what my life was like before u came into it, as I look at my bloodstained sheets and the scars, bold, deep, and daring that lay flat across the threshold of my wrist.... I wonder what my life would have been like if I had never met you...and then I cry, it is to painful to even let the thought of life without you even cross my mind, but as I cry a cold wind blows through my windows, as I look through the windows from the wind that had drawn me there, I see endless possibilities, and then as the last wind blows I feel as if you had kissed my cheek although you are still an ocean away, my love will never die, your kiss a kiss you send by wind pulls a smile to my face, a genuine smile that has come from within... as I smile and think of you... I fall to the pillow and dream of you, as the smile remains on my face the entire time... but this dream does not last just the night, it lasts an eternity, for you are my future ... a future I would die to finally live!

11/07/2005

~By: Samantha Walker

I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know

True Love can be and is an amazing gift that not many get the privilege to receive. It’s mysterious and wonderful, happy and even sometimes scary. It’s the most extraordinary feeling that you can ever experience. You never know what will happen next… it’s most defiantly not predictable.
When you meet that person… what you would call your other half. That person you define as your true love. Love can be blinding but true love is not debatable, you know there and then. When you’re not under a title that labels you “involved” and each of you are with another, so many different feelings arise and come to life… when you talk and even when you don’t, you can feel jealous and maybe even mad. Of course you’re sad and you could be upset. One might cry themselves to sleep each night.
The only thing you hope and dream is “I hope that one day you’ll be mine.” You have your fears that you may never be. Years may even pass, you may not talk and at times you may. Time would be your worst enemy and defiantly feel like a punishment.
But this thing… the thing that saves you two is your love, the love that remained so strong. Your feelings that stayed strongest yet was your love, the hope, trust and belief that, that one beloved dream day, that in your heart you knew would come. Your love has never died. You would give your life for theirs.
And because you are my true love, no time is too long to wait. Money could never be an object. I could wait an eternity to lie in your arms. I could wait till the last day of my life to taste your sweet lips. I could wait just as long to gaze into your eyes, to hug you, to meet you in person and cry from happiness, just to have you wipe my tears and hold me tight and have me feel safe. To gently stroke my hair and skin, to say to you in person “I love you, I love you more than you’ll ever know.” But until that day I whisper those words to myself.  
~By: Samantha Walker……12/29/2006

My Heart


So many things I’ve wished I’ve done, but so little time I had. So many things I want to do, but never got the chance. So many dreams lie unfulfilled; do I even have an opportunity? So many goals and aspirations, I fear that they will never be. I’ve worked so long to get only this far. Been hurt so much by all those guys, I never thought I could give my heart, full and ready and all as never before.
Then this day I never expected, came knocking on my door. At first I was a shocked, a little hesitant, but I never showed those feelings. Those feelings then I thought showed weakness, but now I learned they separate the good from bad. For some reason that day however, I felt the love within my heart. It grew and grew with each time we talked. I never had that feeling with anyone else. It at time got scary and at times it was fun. But even through the ups and down, that feeling stayed so strong, it never left, it never faded, it never went away.
I’ll never forget the way I felt, and how you did make me feel. You warmed my heart with each passing day. You made my dream from when I was a little girl come true, you swept me off my feet, you made me feel like I was Cinderella leaving with her prince. Every girl I believe would want a guy like you. But luckily for me I hold your heart, just as you hold mine. Every time I talk to you I smile, whether I’m mad or sad, happy or upset. Sick hurt. No matter my emotions, you were always there to help.
So here’s my thought and here’s my words, read them with caution, keep them in heart. You make my heart jump, jump for joy. I look forward to that day we are together, oh how far it lies.

~Samantha Walker
~1/14/2007