Welcome to the Hell that is my head. Fragments of shattered pasttimes of agony sprinkle the landscape in an ominous shroud of grey. Shallow graves for past concepts of self, dreams, hopes, fears, and loves. A neverending cemetery of flowerless tombstones, no one comes to visit this war torn place. Disgusted with my position in this reality, everybody I loved and needed turned their backs and just walked away, they don't give a shit about me. Just set that plastic soul on fire and watch it melt. The pain's aloft inside, misery, hoplessness, all of these make up my shell. "I just want to run around, fly kites, wrestle, jump, and play." But to every pool, there is another side...
I'm a forgotten dream that no one looks for
I'm like a dead soul that needs to move on
Your love,your lustkeeps me here
But you move onto another love,another lust
Until she is lost or forgotten like
I am....
I wish I could sleep again
I wish I could dream again
I wish I could close my eyes
I wish I could ...
Wishes that always repeat
Wish I was a sweet smile
I wish I could change the world
I wish I could hold someone close
Wish I was ...
Wishes that never come true
I'd love to forget those nights
I'd love to forget your crooked smile
I'd love to forget...you
But it's hard to forget what's never left
And it's hard to move
I wish I was a star shining brightly for you
Wish I was a dream come true
I wish I could be the one for you
I wish I was...
Wishes made in desperation
I wish I was the hand that held you up
I wish I was stronger
I wish...
Time to stop wishing
The writhings of my weak shell entertain me on a daily basis. A multitude of fractured thoughts across my lips like jagged glass, swallow hard the pains of my soul. Insanity a barrier by far breached and turned into a device of self-torture. My exo-skeletal patchwork protects the paradox in my worldly usless skin, my reflections chewing at the bones. No more to feel the guilt once I empty the vial into me, a viral infection fit for filth. Laughter in the darkness of my mind, my own, or is someone there? Asphyxiation from constricting air, the limitless sky bleeds into me the vile. My eyes, my stare, my gaze fixed on the distant oblivian, ignorance compiled in my cell. Dreams of organic beings fill my sleepless nights, a stagnant flow of endings. The ultimate mutiny against myself, forever drowning in the void of my heart. A soundtrack to my failure, one syllable, one vowel. Welcome to my dehumanization
"One More Sunset"
Breathe, just a little more
I want to see the stars shine
Feel their ominous eyes mourn
Their soft stares guide me
To a place where I belong
Hold me, keep me here
There's so much I must do for you
So much I have to correct
Just remember, this last breath
For it will be the only eternity I know
I lived my life like some kind of fucking game
I lost my way in the madness
Come see my face, and cry
Shame this monster's place, sadness
I only want to see one more sunset
You were there, to hold me
To remember my smile and to close my eyes
Don't waste your tears on the wretched
Just remember, my intentions were pure
Because for you I fell into this darkness...
A room of shadows...
Alone the cries of agony...
So afraid of the windows...
Of the staring tragedies.
The doors are always locked,
to keep the darkness sheltered
From the love gone bad...
Impurity of heart is all around,
Hidden by the gentle touch,
The smile, the compassion.
Closer they come, ever closer
To take a look inside the room of shadows.
To see the shackled figure tugging,
Screaming, bleeding from the agonies
Bleached into his existance. Eyes,
That once glowed bright and blue,
Now cold and dark. Rusted chains
Cut so very deeply into the soul.
The bitter smell of spilled blood,
And sweat dance round with the darkness.
Broken glass from picture frames...
How sharp, how like home. This floor
Is covered in memories, cocooned in darkness.
Veins give way to metal, and heart breaks like glass.
Glass that once held purpose, happiness, familiar...
Faces that loved...faces that cared...all gone bad.
Turned everything black in this room of shadows,
A room that once held shared dreams.
Lead injections that pass through flesh, bone,
and tissue to come thundering out the other side.
Then the chain stops rattling, and all is silent.
Just like a grave, a lonely dark grave.
And there is no more pain...
No lies...
No hate...
No fear...
No tears...
No more loss...
No more laughter...
No more you...
No love...
No hope...
No...more dreams...
Now, only darkness remains in this room of shadows...
"The Darkness Around Me"
The darkness is comeing to kill me
I hear the breaking of bones of the others
I can hear it comeing though the woods
The thing that was in the dark is now behind me
I feel it breathing down my neck
I can feel it wrapping its arms around me pulling me back
The darkness is taking my soul
The light is getting dimmer and dimmer
The light is now like an ant hole
It is dragging me back into the dark world
I can hear it cewing on the bones of the others
It is getting closer still cewing the bones
I cry for life as it tears at my skine to get to my heart
I'm sad and lonely. this world is dark and full of evil. I will never tust some strang person. I hate myself and the thing I've done in this harsh and crule world. My life is nothing but hell,but my friends are allways there for me they will never let me down.I just want to die and end my sad,sad life.