It was my birthday and yet I'm not excited.... 16... I feel so old when I consider myself as a child or teen, and so young when thinking I'm an adult. The world is but before me and yet do I dare to take a step? Am I afraid that I must face reality sooner than expected? I know I cannot stay ingnorant and innocent of the world any longer but part of me wishes to. Cemented to the ground, my feet are when reality shows her uglyness face. And so, my mind contradicts it's self. Torn in the debate that although seem but inferior to problems in the world, is enough to keep me awake with random and stupid thoughts.


I'm so self absorbed. You'd think the least I could do is spell words correctly...


~Dhomhainrua

Reflection....

August the first...
I stayed home today because of my neck. It really hurts. The pain I can handle but it's really annoying because it's stiff and adgitating... My left ear is also infected... Today is just not my day I guess. I seem to be cursed with some ill fate. The quote "I am fortune's fool" comes to mind at the momment.
I'm procrastinating. I can't seem to bring myself to do what needs to be done.
I'm not myself, I am other where... But then the question comes to mind. Who Am I? What Am I? How Am I? actually... skip how... I think I want to live in ignorance for that part a little while longer...Or is it innocense?
*Sigh* questions, questions... I'm a broken record which plays over and over. All who know me don't, and all that don't do. A lost soul in the world of the souless... I matter to no one. I am but another begging being wanting, waiting, and for what I do not know.
How selfish am I? In everything that we do and everything that I do, it is done for no one but ourselves. A selfless act is but a myth in this world. Everything is done for one's gain. Whether it be money and fame, or the mere contentment of one's own guilt knowing others are worse off.

~Dhomhainrua