Aufrichtig, Vater, Ich hasse Sie…

nein,nichts ist falsch mit mir…ich gerade mag nicht sprechen, über wie ich wirklich fühle,so spreche ich auf Deutsch, also können niemand verstehen, wie ich glaube jeder Weise…

Manchmal träume ich von der Schwärzung,Manchmal träume ich vom Licht,jede Weise,auf ich nie weiß, welchem seitlichem im…manchmal scheint es wie beide ist heraus, mich zu töten…
In einer Welt, die nicht ein assualter bewertet,ist waren mein Platz?Bin ich, zum umzukommen und verblasse von der Wirklichkeit wie mein brethern?oder bin ich in der Geschichte unsterblich?Wenn es keinen Afterlife gibt,was ist mein Schicksal im Ende?es gibt Sachen, sogar, das ich nicht Ihnen noch mein Selbst erklären kann.Alles, das wir überhaupt wünschten, war, damit jemand uns. liebt.

Wenn ich heute starb,würden Sie wirklich schreien?
Wenn ich von Ihrem Leben verschwand,wie lang würden Sie Gedächtnisse von mir halten?
Wieviel bedeute ich zu Ihnen?
Würden Sie wirklich vollständig mit mir gehen?
Würden Sie mich von der Wirklichkeit nehmen,zu einer Welt von unseren Selbst?
Wurden Sie ließen mich mein wirklicher Selbst sein,so kann ich dieses Oberteil der gefälschten Härte verschütten?
Könnte ich auf Ihrer Schulter wirklich schreien?
Denken Sie immer an mich das selbe?
Oder bildet meine Bildänderung mit jeder Wahl ich?
Würden Sie vollständig für mich gehen?
Kann ich für Sie vollständig gehen?
Überall gehen Sie ließen mich zu gehen,
Das ist alles, das ich von Ihnen bitte.





Im Ende, wenn sie zur Gewehr wir unten kommen,sterben Sie neben mir Kameraden?

i lost my job ;-;

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Well good morning guys,its 7:42 AM as im typing this,im getting ready for this extremly important job interview today!i want all of you guys to wish me luck!if i get this job ill be bringing in enough money to room mate with a friend in a 2 room apartment we found downtown,yep,thats right,a chance to finally get out of the house now that highschool is over!

It seems out of place for me,but the job is selling fancy vacuum cleaners or what-not.the pay is based on how many sales i make and the base pay per two weeks considering i somehow dont sell anything for two weeks straight is $500.with each sell i get a cut of the profit somewhere between 120-150 dollars or more,with a sell statistic of about 1 out of 3 attempts for most people working with the business.mathematiclly considering the statistic was consistant with me,and the fact that we do about 15 sales attempts a day,well,you can see that this is a very big opportunity for me!If i ever needed luck in my life,this would be the time!i can really get my life going with this job,and possibly make a career out of it (the base pay gets higher based on performance and time in the company,the manager that me and my friend spoke with was with the company for 5 years and last year alone made $62,000 doing what we are doing!and whats best is she started at the same age i did,fresh out of highschool!).

This is much bigger then your stereotypical "flipping burgers" job and this is something i can really make something out of myself with!I hope it works!

behold the meaning of life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGVm9b4IHJk&search=freddy%20got%20fingered

Shadow says:
-eats his sandwiches-
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
o_o
Shadow says:
what?
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
mine?
Shadow says:
-holds one out for her-
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
-CHOMP-
Shadow says:
o.o;
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
<_<
Shadow says:
oink
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
._.;;
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
-runs away-
Shadow says:
->
Shadow says:
-watches her foot get snagged on a rope trap that suspends her in the air up-side down-
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
O_O
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
DID YOU RIG THE GOD DAMN HOUSE?!
Shadow says:
emo traps >_>
Kitty // The lover you don't have to love says:
-.-

1.) When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water? start the water,then get in,that shit is cold when it first comes out!

2.) Do you read the labels on the shampoo bottle?
I dont even know what conditioner does.


3.) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essence commercial? Yes.


4.) Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
I wish.


5.) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
When i was younger.


6.) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
a few times


7.) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
yes -_-;

8.) How old do you look?
i come off as in my 20's


9.) How old do you act?
much younger then i look XD


10.) What's the last song you sang?
Hitler-Rammstein


11.) Have you recently become a member of anything?
The order of the serpentine

12.) What are your plans for the weekend?
get drunk,have a cigar.


13.) Do you tie ur shoes or slip them on?
slip them on


14.) Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
only steers and queers live in texas,and you dont look too much like a steer.

15) Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
XD


16.) If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
you can call me...Captain Kickass


17.) Have you ever called anyone a slut?
Yes


18) Have you ever been called a slut?
yep >_>


19). Have you ever smuggled something into America?
Bird flu


20.) Does playing a guitar make someone more attractive?
It worked for me XD


21.) Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
Thats a good one XD


22). Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
Yes,although i hate how it gets stuck in my teeth.


23). How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
bleh,who knows?save for the obviuos ones like my mom or something,i dont think that many.


24). How many of them would come just to make sure you're really dead?
Probably the whole lot of them >_>


25). Do you have more enemies or more friends?
Enemies


26.) Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
Yeah


27) Have you ever fixed your car?
If i had one id be with emylee right now ;-;


28.) Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
Never been offered.


29.) Are you smarter than your friends?
Of course,never get the credit i deserve though T_T


30.) Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
-coughs-never


31.) Have you ever been to jail?
twice


33) Do you like the smell of beer?
yes!

34.) Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
Hell ya,every night -not even joking-


35.) Have you ever given to charity?
Yes


36.) Would you kill a dog for $1000?
Fuck yeah,here lassy!


37.) Do you sometimes get depressed?
dont we all?


38.) Do you live with your parents?
Just my mom


39.) Do you have plans for the future?
yes


X MARKS THE SPOT


You are
[ ] short, under 5'4
[ ] 5'4 -5'6''
[x] 5'7" - 6'0
[ ] tall 6'1 and up
[ ] I DONT KNOW


NATURALLY
[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[ ] dirty blonde/brownish
[ ] brown
[x] black



[ ] blue-eyed
[x] brown-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[ ]hazel/light brown-eyed
[ ] gold/gray-eyed
[ ] silver/gray- eyed
[ ] blue/green-eyed
[ ] blue/gray-eyed
[ ] they change colors



[ ]glasses
[ ]contacts
[x]neither


[x] short hair
[ ] medium hair
[ ] long hair


Your favorite color(s) are?
[x] red
[ ] khaki
[ ] aqua
[] pink
[ ] hot pink
[ ] yellow
[x] black
[x] green
[ ] lime green
[x] blue
[x] white
[] turquoise
[x] silver
[ ]purple
[ ] brown
[ ] orange
[x]gray
[ ] maroon
[x] gold
[ ] teal
[x] clear
[ ] bronze
[ ] don't really care
[ ] I don't believe in favorite colors


Some things you've done?
[x] ice skating
[x]hiking
[x] kayaking
[x] rafting
[ ] water skiing
[x]camping
[x]horseback riding
[x] bodysurfing and skin boarding
[ ] snowboarding
[ ]skiing
[ ] dancing
[x]skateboarding
[ ]cheerleading
[ ] lacrosse
[x] street hockey
[ ] gymnastics
[x] martial arts
[ ] baton twirling
[x] swimming
[] wakeboarding
[] tubing


Your personality is sometimes...
[] talkative
[x] shy
[x] funny
[x] serious
[x] laid back
[x] strict
[ ] hyper
[x] weird
[] ditzy
[x] sarcastic
[] slow


you like listening listening to?
[] pop
[ ] country
[ ] Christian
[x] classical
[x] techno
[x] oldies
[x] opera
[x] 80's
[] disco
[] rap
[x] classic rock
[] punk
[x] metal
[x] screamo
[x] reggae



The pets you have HAD?
[x] cat(s)
[]dog(s)
[x] lizard(s)
[] rat(s)
[ ]ferret(s)
[]bunny(ies)
[x] fish
[ ]duck(s)
[ ] horse(s)
[ ]bird(s)
[ ]frog (s)
[x] hermit crab
[ ] turtle
[ ] hamster
[ ] snake
[ ]gerbil
[ ] guinea pig
[ ] pig
[ ] goat
[ ] chinchilla
[ ] tarantula
[ ] geese
[ ] baby chicks
[ ] none
[ ] hedgehog
[ ] snail
[ ] pihrana
[ ] seagull
[ ] newt
[ ] chip munk


Clothing Brands you like?
[ ]Delia's
[ ] American Eagle
[ ] Hollister
[ ] The Buckle
[ ] Abercrombie & Fitch
[ ]Target
[x] Wal-mart
[ ] Wet Seal
[ ] Forever 21
[ ] O'neil
[ ]Pac Sun
[ ] Gap
[ ] Banana Republic
[ ] Aeropostale
[ ] Dickies
[ ] Quicksilver
[ ] Anchor Blue
[ ] Guess
[ ] Lucky Brand
[ ] Champs
[x] Salvation army/goodwill/value village
[ ] old navy
[ ] name brands
[i like gals with this ;)] Victorias secret
[x] whatever is at the thrift store
[ ] Eddie Bauer
[x] Hot Topic
[x]Anything


Shoe Brands?
[ ] Flip-Flops
[ ] Rainbows (shoes)
[ ] Nike
[ ] Adidas
[ ] reebok
[ ]Billabong
[] Roxy
[] Puma
[ ] Jack purcells
[ ] Uggs
[] Etnies
[ ] Reefs
[ ] Converse
[ ] K Swiss
[ ] Adio
[ ] DC
[ ] Steve Madden
[ ] vans
[x] if I like something alot I'll buy it
[ ] New Balance
[ ] LEI
[ ] Payless
[ ] DVS
[ ] Es
[ ]Macbeth


your confessions:
[ ] I'm afraid of the quiet
[ ]I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark sometimes
[x]I've collected comic books
[x] I've shut out others
[ ] I open up to others easily
[x] I read the newspaper
[x] I love Disney movies
[x] im a sucker for eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I bake well
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class
[ ] I love Martha Stewart
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[x]I am self-conscious
[x] I love to laugh
[ ] i smoke cigarettes
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[x] bite my nails
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored
[x]Gotten lost in the city
[ ] gone out in pajamas
[ ]Made out in an elevator
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Been bungee jumping
[x] Bitten someone
[x] Dressed up like the opposite sex
[x] egged a house/car
[ ] Smashed into a car
[x] Been skinny dipping


Have you ever...
[ ] made out in the rain
[ ] danced in the raIn
[x] seen a shooting star
[x] proposed to anyone
[ ] Gotten stitches
[x]Eaten Sushi
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Been on a cruise ship
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x]Been on a Plane by yourself
[ ]had surgery
[x] seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater
[x] been on stage
[x] peed somewhere other than a toilet
[x] gotten a black eye
[x] memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[x] watched an entire baseball game


Do you like...
[x] old movies
[x] musicals
[x] blasting music in your car
[x] foreign foods
[ ] Pokemon
[ ] Christmas time
[x] donuts
[x] animals
[x] coffee
[x] tea



TWO'S OF EVERY KIND


Two Parts of Your Heritage:
Japanese,italian


Two Things That Scare You:
Love and Religion


Two of Your Everyday Essentials:
Tea and Guns


Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
Boxers and nothing


Two Things You Want in a Relationship other than Real Love:
Wild and diverse sex,and a mutual love of video games XD


Two Things that Appeal to You In a Guy/Girl:
Personality and a high level of nerditude


Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
Beer and Computers


Two Things You Want Really Badly?
To be with emylee right now,and to own a tank (life goal)


Two Places You Want to go on Vacation:
Germany and Japan


Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
Be a marine and Be the father mine never was.


Two Things You Are Thinking About Now:
How some of these questions are making me sad,and orange juice.


Two people I haven't talked to in a while:
Courtney and grandma


Two favorite animals:
Dolphins and Eagles


Two Reasons you're doing this survey:
Boredom and...erm..boredom


Spell your name without vowels:
LX


What color do you wear most often?
Camo

Least favorite color?
Yellow


Last song heard on the radio?:
I don't listen to the radio


What's for dinner tonight?:
There is no dinner.


Are you happy with your life right now?
Not really.


Tell me a secret about one of your siblings:
They are both retarded,and i think one of them is gay or something.


Who did you last call on your phone?:
Daniel


[Do you own a...]


- PS2?: yes


- XBOX 360?:no


- PSP?: yes


-Gamecube?: yes


- SIDEKICK?: no


- DIGITAL CAMERA?: yes


In what state or country do you want to go to school after high school?
doesent really matter to me


Do you shop at stores like Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch:
No ><


Last thing you bought over 50 dollar?
Battlefield 2


How's the weather?
slightly cloudy


when do you start summer break?:
getting my diploma tomorrow


Are you missing someone right now?:
yes,emylee.


One word to describe you:
Moody


Favorite pair of shoes:
My old pair of combat boots,i miss thee


Do you own big sunglasses?:
No


Do you find yourself attractive?:
Heck no


Why is the first person in your Top 8 on Myspace?
i dont have any one on my friends list.(not kidding)


What would you rather be doing right now?
talking with emylee


What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping.


Last text message you recieved?
my ex badgering me


Who did you hug today?:
Myself.


Q: How many beds did you lay in yesterday?
1


Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
I'm not wearing a shirt.


Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
dream of nightmares


What color are your bedroom walls?
Camofluage walls with camo netting on my ceiling


Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
$21.00


Q: Whats your favorite sport?
Airsoft



Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
2 years ago


Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
General Tso's chicken


Q: Look to your left. Whats there!?
A tv


Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
I don't borrow clothes.


Q: Do you have plants in your room?
No,i hate plants.


Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My back


Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
New york city


Q: Do you own a picture phone?
Yes


Q: Whats your favorite starbucks drink?
I hate starbucks.


Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A few hours ago.


Last person you..
1. Saw:dipshit brothers


2. Hugged: Myself


3. Shopped with: family


4. IM: no one



5. Song you listened to: Sonne-Rammstein



6.What are you doing now: Doing this quiz retard



7. What are you doing tonight: testing this new patch for Battlefeild 2



8. What are you going to eat for lunch: Nothing.


Time started: 12:30 am
time finished : 1:00 am

these are some commercials for a new show block on a channel i always watch

me and becca are...odd

our 3rd convo today XD

this convo was...weird.

me and cricket on msn XD

becca made this for her diary,but im hijacking it for my own XD

me and emylee are...weird...

Shadow-me
coin operated girl-emylee

"Angel of the Night"

Sitting here,waiting here
Solemn chill of the night.
watching the bright moon with silent prayer.
Send me an angel, fair and kind and right.
Desperate thats for sure, love you will by my cure
stand beside me tonight and hold my hand.

When you arrive i must confide in you,
will you show me light when darkness is all i can do;
please come and show me that I'll be alright:
My unfound love, the angel of the night...

Society says that i must be strong,
but you know deep inside their wrong.
Take me away from this guilt, this fear, this pain;
Please help me feel that i will feel alright,
My unfound love, the angel of the night...

Cold yet caring,my heart is in plight.
Alone at night my mind starts to take flight.
They bring me down to earth,
Show me i dont have much worth;
Please help me regain my site,
My unfound love, the angel of the night...

There is only one life,
no caring god in sight,
the world has no reward but the night...
Here I'm waiting, contemplating, taking my own life...
Then you find me, crying,let me feel alright...
Take away this pain,
This mundane life is plain,
Come from the shadows and join with me in height,
My unfound love, the angel of the night...

heh,calling on all fellow assholes!i ask a favor of you.just now i was banned off of www.animemetro.com for a small arguement that more or less was about freedom of speech,due to corrupt power hungry staff (and the fact that i made a smart ass comment to one of them for being a power-mad control freak gestapo).feel free to register in that site an badger the hell out of mods.

[Sedition]:

[drakkar]:

[Sedition]: