http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wGgoIKGLgQ

Please take a look and comment,its me experimenting with recording and editing software and one of my favorite games Battlefield 2.not really meant to entertain,just to make sure i can get stuff to work

It's 2 am and i have been trying to sleep for 2 hours now..but i cant..random thoughts of different places and people,who i am,who i was,and who i will be flood my mind and keep me awake.rolling side to side in my bed and closing my eyes as tight i can these day dreams only get louder as they scream into my head and drill into my subconciuos slowly driving me mad.

I'm so tired....so incredibly tired...and no matter how much i sleep it is never enough...every passing day i slip a little more into that black hole in the back of my mind full of lost hopes and dreams,confusion,happiness,sorrow,and whatever maruading thoughts and feelings slip away from my conciuos mind.The voices in my head don't speak to me anymore...even they left me...there was i time i talked back to them and listened to their words of wisdom that told me about love,friendship,humanity and the universe..but they are gone now..and im slowly slipping into this darkness..this..void..from not even my loudest screams for help can escape...

There is this dream...Were im standing in a feild..maybe a slight bit older then i am..I just stand there smiling under the sun and luaghing,as if i dont have a care in the world..then i grow slightly older..maybe between my 30's and 50's...i stand infront of a large white house standing on a cliff looming over a rocky beach..All i can do is stare off into the peaceful cloudy dark evening sky and listen to the sound of the ocean,and i couldnt feel any more peacefull..then i grow older...much older..as if im nearing my end...and i am an old man...on my knees in a damp cold and dark room...and i cant stop crying..hell if i know why i am crying,or why i cant stop..but there is this uncontrollage surge of sorrow in my mind thats so horrible i cant stop crying and screaming and balling no matter how hard i try...then..i slowly slip into black,and i wake up...and try to go back to sleep only to be stuck awake for a few more hours before i pass out and let the dream restart...

It has been like that for a very long time now...the same dream or odd variations of it amongst many other visions of gritty dark clouded cities and raining,being alone fighting with myself and some unknown force,crying uncontrollably for no reason and stricken into weakness with my own sorrow..and then...i dream of an open grassy feild that stretches for miles and miles across grassy hills..or being on the beach cliff...those dreams i am in a weird state of calm and what i can only call psuedo happiness...

I dont know what it all means..and i wish it would all go away...all i know..is that im tired...god am i so tired...but sometimes i wonder....if i ever woke up...

Man,i need a drink...or 5...or 10...life's a bitch ya know?dont take your time in highschool for granted,enjoy it all to hell,the real world brings you a little more freedom,but you quickly lose it again when your bogged down by a social system based around the almighty dollar,long gone are the days of adventure,discovery,and all other things that make you feel alive.as you slip into your business suit and go into another day of typing away in a cubicle it will hit you eventually that this is all bullshit,humans werent meant to deal with this crap,however due to our natural urge to live a life of comfort we are compelled to continue this afront to nature,to sit here and satisfy our greed with the life of a sloth,our only animation being to slave over little coins and sheets of paper to buy more crap to keep the cycle going.

there is no way to end it,no way to break free,take head,for you are all doomed to an eternity of disappointments,broken dreams and hearts,and having the life drained out of you with repetitive meaningless work.sure,there are the lucky ones with "dream jobs" or rich people,but deep down,they feel it to.its not even legal anymore to be human,we are all forced by society into these cramped homes,were we slowly evolve to be accustomed to being in cages built with our own hands,sustaining a life of consenstual slavery for our own survival and self gratitude.Gone are our days when nature provided for us and we provided for nature,gone are the days were a man could be a man and make up his own mind on what he wanted to do,day in and day out,and live with the consequences of his actions knowing that he indeed made that decision without influence.gone are the days of freedom,replaced with tv,soap operas,oil,guns,and machines all built by ourselves to turn us into our own slaves,a perpetual circle made completly of our own inept desire for comfort through uncomfort.

why do i write all this?i dont know,maybe i had one of those lapses,the ones everyone gets,were for a split second,we get a taste of what it is like to be a human again.for thousands of years its slowly been repressed into non-existance except for that glimmer of a second were we can feel total bliss and true happiness in our own sunny feild in our mind,a vast land were we make our own destinies and every day is a new adventure.but then you wake up,and you realize every day is the same routine,there are no feilds,just wirling roads that lead you to your worthless task to continue the cycle and ensure the schedule of the next day.fight against the system and die,live with the system and your not much more alive anyway.

the point of this all is for you folks getting ready to hit the real world,those who are already here,and those far away from it.learn this truth soon,and maybe it wont hurt as much when you actually arive...

well guys,i got the job!i now work as a representative salesman of knives and other cuttery tools for hunting,sporting,cooking,and gardening

dear god,its 10:51 and im getting ready for that interview at 12.I HATE WEARING BUSINESS CLOTHES!!!they are so friggin tight and uncomfortable,i nicknamed it the gorilla suit.its a real pain to wear and in this heat it's fucking unbareable.i believe this is some means of suppression used to sap the humanity out of office workers such as myself to keep them dull and lifeless while in business clothing.I can hardly breath,the waistband of these pants and cutting in my skin,and this over shirt is choking my neck.ironiclly its loose fitting in all the places it doesnt matter,but tight as hell in the places it -does- matter.ugh,anyway,wish me luck,gotta get going.

a friend of mine got me a job interview for tomorrow,good pay,doing sales and such.most importantly they have offices in orlando which is a must for when i move out of the house in september.wish me luck guys,this one is pretty important.

永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
....btw, yes I actually asked becca "do you get tigers in Flordia?"
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
I was very tired.
Shadow says:
XD!!
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
very..very...tired..
Shadow says:
we dont get tigers,we get ligers
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
ooo
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
wait
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
-kicks-
Shadow says:
XD

i told you guys something was up with disney!
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=adc2b3bd88eb656d3fcf8b70bb08029b.519384&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fhome.php%3Fei%3DUTF-8%26p%3D&vback=featured%20videos

You watch too much anime when....
[things i have done or still do are in bold]


1.) When your clothing shows your fav anime.


2.) You call your dog Shinji.


3.) You perform a canon ball dive into a pool while yelling "Spirit Bomb!"


4.) Your house has an anime room.


5.) You and your friends flash peace signs and take girlish poses when you are happy. (though it wasnt started by anime,i always do the little peace sign salute off the corner of my forhead when saying goodbye)


6.) You get an anime tattoo. even though you're scared of needles. (getting a full metal alchemist tatoo)


7.) Your walls are covered in wallscrolls and posters from your favorite series.


8.) you use the term 'Kawaii' to describe everything. (There was a point...)


9.) You try to convince your girlfriend/boyfriend that 'cat ears' and 'a tail' really looks good on them. (i wore a neko tail through highschool)


10.) You can sing songs from your favorite shows, in Japanese, even though you dont speak Japanese...


11.) You have legally changed your name to that of your favorite charcter. (my call sign in real life is the same as my ET name,minus the alpha part.though it isent from any show or game,it holds its own private meaning no one but myself and scarlet knows)


12.) You wear a necklace and fall down everytime someone says "sit boy".


13.) You insist on having an entrance that includes spotlights, music, and raining cherry blossoms (while you hold a rose if you're a guy). (i imagine this everytime i walk into a room XD)


14.) You play an instrument and you nick name it Inuyasha


15.) For valintines day you buy a stuffed dog and make up your own japanese name for it


16.) If you get mad at your teacher and draw a picture of her as a anime demon cat.


17.) You always have your hair covering your left eye and always fliping it so you look like a anime character.


18.) You think that falling flat on your back with your legs in the air is a normal reaction to big news.(i swear i have done this a few times)


19.) You shave a cresent moon onto your cats head, dye the cat purple, then take it to school and insist it's Luna, your talking cat.


20.) You go around town trying to eat donuts and act all crazy-like, all the while saying you're Vash the Stampede.


21.) To resolve a conflict, you insist in a duel.(me and drakkar go through this everytime were at each other's house XD)


22.) The employees at Gamestop know you, and tell you when you walk in if they've gotten a new shipment of anime DVDs.


23.) You waste countless amounts of hair gel to get that "Goku look"(dont ask)


24.) You believe it is possible for a person to be severly beaten in the head with a large hammer, stick, etc...and still come out alive.


25.) You have a moment of confusion whenever you go to school because there are no girls in those tiny little skirts that come with their school uniform. (doesent matter,they were all ugly bitches anyway)


26.) You yell out 'Baka hanyou Inu-Yasha!' at your birthday party and everyone (except your parents) knows you're talking to your boyfriend.


27.) You tell your parents you need to stay out past curfew to save the colonies.


28.) Each time you see a stray animal, you turn your hat sideways and throw one of those plastic Pokeballs Burger King was giving out in their kids' meals yelling, "POKEBALL, GO!"


29.) You add "no da" to the end of all statements you make


30.) The majority of your CDs are Japanese or the English version of a Japanese soundtrack or the English soundtrack of an anime that just decided that it would use English in its songs.


31.) You misplace your manga and someone at school you don't even know gives it to you saying they knew it was yours.


32.) You incorporate Japanese, somehow, into every class.


33.) You use random Japanese words such as baka, kawaii, and hentai.


34.) You try to read every book from right to left


35.) You take a break from watching anime to go to your computer (nicknamed Lord Conti) to download anime (for previewing purposes only! ;) ), while visiting your favorite anime forum, while listening to Japanese webradio...


36.)You call your parents Oka-san and Otou-san


37.)You'll risk grounding to get a good new fanfic.


38.)You insist on chopsticks for everyday use.


39.) Your bookshelf is filled with anime boxed sets and no books


40.)You stop listening to the radio because english makes no sense to you anymore and it's your first spoken language


41.) You call yourself "otaku."

42.) All of your family portraits have been altered to the proper super large eye size.


43.) Your dreams are animated.


44.) You hold your eyes really wide all day trying to make them stay big


45.) You run out of space on your computer because the hard drive is taken up by hundreds of anime pics, mp3s, midis, and music videos.


46.) You spend all night trying to figure out how many people you can get to go in with you on buying the complete collection of Sailor Moon episodes in Japanese.


47.) You spend your whole spring break working on an anime webpage.


48.) You expect to see a teardrop over someone's head when they get embarressed.


49.) You start to speak with an odd accent.


50.) You can watch two animes in the same room at the same time and still have the TV off.


51.) You know your favorite character's bloodtype.


52.) You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to anime.

永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
... I just saw a white boy with your orange and black ears >_>' .. well not YOUR ears, but some that look like them.. and suddonly, orange and camo doesnt look bad
Shadow says:
heheh
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
I mean look http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/151896_1130013162.jpg o_o;
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
you made that look.. non-retarded
Shadow says:
its all going according to plan
Shadow says:
me and tj noticed that after we started wearing tails at school,it was only a month or two before everyone started to do so as well
Shadow says:
now the ears are becoming possible.if all goes as planed we shall have nekos by 2020
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
o_o
Shadow says:
phase 1:make everyone get interested in nekos
Shadow says:
phase 2:make everyone convinced that we need to create nekos
Shadow says:
phase 3:
Shadow says:
phase 4: profit
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
create?
Shadow says:
XD
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
...... why do I feel, I'm going to be conned into phase 3
Shadow says:
i havent even thought of phase 3 yet XD
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
......I have
Shadow says:
o.o;
Shadow says:
porn
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
take a female egg and put it in a dish, then mix it with male cat sperm >_>
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
test tube neko
Shadow says:
XD
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
then spawn from there
Shadow says:
then profit
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
^_^
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
.... why did I think of this?
Shadow says:
everyone shall want a pet catgirl
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
<_<
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
I get the first working one
Shadow says:
NIEN!!!MIEN!!
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
I have a feeling the first couple are going to... die..
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
.... I thought i was your little catgirl ... T_T
Shadow says:
you are,but i need an extra for whenever your on your period or dont feel like giving me a bj or anal >_>
永久に || Anti-Freeze. says:
T_T;

(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked anything else
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( )been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(x) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x many) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding
(x) been moshing at a DAnce
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
( ) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x often) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't do
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( )watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) worn real pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed "penis" in class
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
(x) got your toungue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
( ) worn the opposite sex clothes
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didnt take a shower for a week
(x) grab, pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) been in a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken fight
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept all day
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house

Shadow says:
i wanna go to the sex shop tomorrow XD
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
XD
Shadow says:
porn time biatches!
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
Lmao!
Shadow says:
-coughs-and a pocket pussy for those lonely jacksonville nights
Shadow says:
XD
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
XD!!!
Shadow says:
as if you wouldnt get a dildo
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
I'd get a glow in the dark vibrator
Shadow says:
lol
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
Glowing fun
Shadow says:
particularly usefull for night time yiffs XD
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
o_o;
Shadow says:
forgive me,i have a hot pocket >_>
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
<_< what kind?
Shadow says:
meatball marinara o.o
.:.:...[. C r y p u l s e  .  You twitch, I twitch .]...:.:. says:
*steals*
Shadow says:
;-;

http://eon8theinvestigation.ytmnd.com/

this is some creepy shit...and btw,the countdown ends tonight...

永久に || Lolly. says:
shes a new rpc <_<
Shadow says:
XD!!!
永久に || Lolly. says:
o_O; what?!
Shadow says:
-cant imagine her as a nazi-
永久に || Lolly. says:
which is why she isn't used very often XD
Shadow says:
hehehehe
永久に || Lolly. says:
shes a non-german nazi
永久に || Lolly. says:
..
永久に || Lolly. says:
fuck off
Shadow says:
XD!!!
永久に || Lolly. says:
-.-
永久に || Lolly. says:
If you post this... I'll kill you.
Shadow says:
_>
Shadow says:
darn
永久に || Lolly. says:
..... fine....
Shadow says:
and i just noticed
永久に || Lolly. says:
<_<;
永久に || Lolly. says:
-fear-
Shadow says:
isent she supposed to have blonde hair and BLUE eyes?
永久に || Lolly. says:
.... GO TO HELL

98% of teenagers have consumed alcohol, smoked or have had sex. Post this in your house if you like bagels.

The Ultimate Quiz-thing
By [light.]


First the easy stuff:


Currently I am:
[17] years old
[6'0] tall


I have:
[ ] blonde hair
[ ] brown hair
[x] black hair
[ ] red hair
[ ] pink hair
[ ] purple hair
[ ] green hair
[ ] blue hair
[ ] other


And:
[ ] blue eyes
[ ] green eyes
[ ] brown eyes
[ ] grey/silver eyes
[ ] hazel eyes
[x(black)] other (specify)


In Bed I usually:
[x] take a long time to fall asleep
[ ] toss and turn
[x] listen to music
[x] have nightmares
[x] pick one position and stay in it
[ ] fall asleep right away
[ ] read
[ ] watch tv
[ ] sleep peacefully
[ ] dream
[ ] other


In the shower I usually:
[x] turn the water on before I get in
[ ] sing
[ ] use a ton of shampoo
[ ] brush my teeth
[ ] turn the water cold before I get out
[ ] use a ton of hot water
[ ] take too long
[ ] other


In school I am/used to be:
[ ] annoying
[x] a loner
[x] a shoulder to cry on
[ ] hated by everyone
[ ] a prep/jock
[ ] alternative
[x] feared
[x] suicidal
[x] joking around
[x] skipping class
[x] passing everything
[ ] failing


Now for the actual thinking:


Languages I know or semi-know how to speak (if I forgot one, add it, I’m not a genius):
[x] German
[ ] Japanese
[ ] French
[ ] Norwegian
[x] Spanish
[ ] Latin
[ ] Dutch
[ ] Finnish
[ ] Italian
[ ] Portuguese
[x] Russian
[ ] Swedish
[x] Meadelaish

In a Guy/Girl I look for:
[x] sharing similar interest
[x] pretty/cute
[x] interesting
[x] unpredictable
[x] gamer
[x] somewhat of a dork
[x] easy to get along with
[ ] someone taller then me
[x] someone who’ll stand up for me
[x] someone who’s not afraid to hold me if I cry
[x] someone who’ll love me forever
[x] other (specify on the next 4 thingers)
[x] open minded
[x] gotta love debate
[x] intellectual
[x] cooking helps XD


Genre of music I like (again, I don’t know all the types, just add it):
[x] metal
[x] death metal
[ ] pop
[ ] punk
[ ] rock
[x] 70’s
[x] 80’s
[ ] JRock
[ ] JPop
[x] Techno
[ ] Industrial
[x] Electric
[ ] Gothic
[ ] Rap
[ ] Hip hop
[x] Other


Guilty of:
(First the heavy stuff)
[ ] breaking & entering, vandalizing
[ ] stealing from friends/stores
[ ] lying in general
[ ] homicide
[x] cutting someone
[x] cutting myself
[x] wishing someone was dead
[x] attempted homicide
(Now the not so heavy stuff)
[ ] listening to Backstreet boys, and liking it
[ ] listening to N*sync, and liking it
[x] looking at porn
[x] staying up past curfew
[ ] cheating on a former relationship
[x] doing something after being told not to
[x] dancing in the rain
[x] falling off a skate board
[x] listening to rap


Things I’ve tired/done:
[ ] ice skating
[x] hiking
[x] kayaking
[x] rafting
[ ] water skiing
[x] camping
[x] horseback riding
[x] bodysurfing and skin boarding
[x] snowboarding
[ ] skiing
[ ] dancing
[x] skateboarding
[ ] cheerleading
[ ] lacrosse
[x] street hockey
[ ] gymnastics
[x] martial arts
[ ] baton twirling
[x] swimming
[ ] wakeboarding
[ ] tubing
[x] being a ninja

hey,i took dante's infernal hell test,this is my results

hey guys,i was on my clan for battlefield 2's forum when one of my friends posted this.it is completly true,this absolutly works as i have just implemented it and it takes no more then a second for me to load any page,i absolutly love it and wanted to share.credits go to my good friend snipenya01

3AM
=NMN=No medics necessary BF2 server
2 rounds played
first round role:commander
score:76
personal kills:7
deaths:9
awards:basic spec ops combat badge,golden star award for commander support,healing honors,medic honors
summary:this was an ordinary match for me with somewhat ordinary statistics on operation clean sweep,id say this is rather uneventfull,and i can say ive done better,but my team was frustrating,didnt work together,and bitched at me becuase i cant sit there and win the war for them and oh noes,they actually have to go on the offensive so i can have time to command instead of having to defend myself so much to the point that i cant bring up my command console to give them orders and support.round 2 is a VERY different story.

round 2 role:assualt class
weapon of choice:m16A2
score:232
Kills:56
Deaths:34
awards:basic assualt combat badge,gold star,assualt recognition,highest kill count on entire server,highest score on entire server.
summary:This round was trully one of my best,i fought this round completly on foot as a grunt with one of the most basic weapons in the game,and to be frank,i sent the opposing team packing,big time,i dont know what it was that i was doing particularly good this round,but damn,i hope i remember it for all my future matchs,this is probably one of my best rounds ever,and im checking if that server had battle recorder on,becuase my performance was just plain fucking beautifull,these guys never stood a chance and i was killing them like i was Razgriz itself,it got to the point were some people thought i was cheating,and others thought i must of came straight from hell myself.best words for this round?

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!

http://shadow.youaremighty.com/
dont ever forget it.

Many apologies,but if you run into me today,and im a tad grumpy towards you,this is why: