Jacques Chirac, The French President, was sitting in his Office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing you inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes.
My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day.
"Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war"
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners. "
Well folks,its that time,tomorrow i am making my final decision weither or not to join.tomorrow,
woot,minimum score for passing the marines ASFAB exam is 33,i passed with a 47!that test was effin weird >_>
minimum physical requirements for the united states marine corps:
3 pull ups
1.5 mile run in under 13 minutes and 30 seconds
44 sit ups in under 2 minutes.
I haved talked with my recruiter,and now i have 3 days to come up with my decision on weither or not to join the marines.so far its looking like im joining.
IF you get more than 30 you're paranoid.
If you get 10 or less you're fearless.
People who don't have any are dummies who want people to think they are tough stuff.
I Fear...
[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[x] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces or closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] black cats
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ]spiders, ticks and/or other insects
[ ]driving or being in cars
[ ] flying
[ ] flowers or other plants
[x] being touched
[x] fire
[x] deep water
[x] just the jelly fish and other lurkers of the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightn
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/gir
[ ] my boyfriends/gir
[ ] mice/rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing bridges
[ ] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] cotton balls
[ ] cemeteries
[ ] clowns
[ ] large crowds
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibility
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] diseases
[ ] snakes
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] poverty
[ ] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[ ] being blind
[ ] being deaf
[ ] being old
[ ] monsters under my bed
[ ] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
-9-
I enrolled in a school called full sail for my game developers bachelor degree,the total cost of the course is 61,000 dollars and im currently in a bit of a bind trying to pay for it.im moving out to orlando on my own to start on september 25th and i still havent figured out how to pay living expenses plus 6,000+ dollars a month for tuition.Well today i had an interveiw with a marine recruiter that offered that i join the reserve and delay college for a few months while i train.once out of training i can attend school regularly and have all expenses paid off by the marines.it seems like a simple enough choice but ive already paid for enrollment and what not and im not sure how much more it will cost to delay the start date,plus i have pressure from the family to consider.any advice?
3 days without sleep so far x_x; refer to the video in my previuos entry.with the events of today and the huge lack of energy that accuratly depicts me
I have made now 3 attempts to sleep,my third one just failed becuase the phone kept fucking ringing every 5 seconds!!!!hol
Me right now trying to sleep: http://www.you
Jacking this from coppie out of boredom
There's.a.hole
http://www.ste
you.download.N
a remix of the other video using deleted scenes.
http://www.you
got a new video up,unlike the test one done over a week ago this one is meant as an actual project which requires comments and criticism.
enjoy.
http://www.you
ATTENTION!
I am currently looking for a room mate to move with into Orlando,partic
thank you for any help given,
Alex
http://www.you
Please take a look and comment,its me experimenting with recording and editing software and one of my favorite games Battlefield 2.not really meant to entertain,just to make sure i can get stuff to work
It's 2 am and i have been trying to sleep for 2 hours now..but i cant..random thoughts of different places and people,who i am,who i was,and who i will be flood my mind and keep me awake.rolling side to side in my bed and closing my eyes as tight i can these day dreams only get louder as they scream into my head and drill into my subconciuos slowly driving me mad.
I'm so tired....so incredibly tired...and no matter how much i sleep it is never enough...every passing day i slip a little more into that black hole in the back of my mind full of lost hopes and dreams,confusi
There is this dream...Were im standing in a feild..maybe a slight bit older then i am..I just stand there smiling under the sun and luaghing,as if i dont have a care in the world..then i grow slightly older..maybe between my 30's and 50's...i stand infront of a large white house standing on a cliff looming over a rocky beach..All i can do is stare off into the peaceful cloudy dark evening sky and listen to the sound of the ocean,and i couldnt feel any more peacefull..the
It has been like that for a very long time now...the same dream or odd variations of it amongst many other visions of gritty dark clouded cities and raining,being alone fighting with myself and some unknown force,crying uncontrollably for no reason and stricken into weakness with my own sorrow..and then...i dream of an open grassy feild that stretches for miles and miles across grassy hills..or being on the beach cliff...those dreams i am in a weird state of calm and what i can only call psuedo happiness...
I dont know what it all means..and i wish it would all go away...all i know..is that im tired...god am i so tired...but sometimes i wonder....if i ever woke up...
Man,i need a drink...or 5...or 10...life's a bitch ya know?dont take your time in highschool for granted,enjoy it all to hell,the real world brings you a little more freedom,but you quickly lose it again when your bogged down by a social system based around the almighty dollar,long gone are the days of adventure,disc
there is no way to end it,no way to break free,take head,for you are all doomed to an eternity of disappointment
why do i write all this?i dont know,maybe i had one of those lapses,the ones everyone gets,were for a split second,we get a taste of what it is like to be a human again.for thousands of years its slowly been repressed into non-existance except for that glimmer of a second were we can feel total bliss and true happiness in our own sunny feild in our mind,a vast land were we make our own destinies and every day is a new adventure.but then you wake up,and you realize every day is the same routine,there are no feilds,just wirling roads that lead you to your worthless task to continue the cycle and ensure the schedule of the next day.fight against the system and die,live with the system and your not much more alive anyway.
the point of this all is for you folks getting ready to hit the real world,those who are already here,and those far away from it.learn this truth soon,and maybe it wont hurt as much when you actually arive...
well guys,i got the job!i now work as a representative salesman of knives and other cuttery tools for hunting,sporti
dear god,its 10:51 and im getting ready for that interview at 12.I HATE WEARING BUSINESS CLOTHES!!!they are so friggin tight and uncomfortable,