went to johns yesterday and it was me and him and zak just chillin in the house all day cuz his mom moved to waco last week..so um....i ate doritos and chain smoked all day...and at the end of the day we ended up siting around watching some zombie movie.....and i was wearing nothign but my boyfriends velvet robe...it is the coolest thing ever....it's floor length and has this hood....it looks like a reapers robe....it's awesome...i'm gonna make myself one...but anyways....he kept saying "this just makes me think of when we'll have a place of our own.."
in about 7 and a half months i'll be free of my mothers grasp...and i'll be able to move out....so we'll see what happens...i love my boyfriend i really do....i just hope life ends up going someplace where i can be proud of myself...

:)

I AM THIS GIRL


I'm the girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you...


I'm the girl who likes to be kissed under the stars, more than inside your bedroom or in a expensive resturant...



I'm the girl who holds your hand....



I'm the girl who doesn't mind you playing with her hair....



I'm the girl who makes jokes with your mom...



I'm the girl who stares into your eyes looking for a reason what you see in me.......



I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...



I'm the girl who will take care of you when you are sick...



I'm the girl who you can talk to about anything...



I'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...



I'm the girl who will listen to you talk...



I'm the girl who loves when you hug me for no apparent reason...



I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind or kiss me on the forehead....



I'm the girl who loves you for you ; and doesn't care what other people say about us...



I'm the girl who will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life...


SWEET HEARTED GIRLS : If you are this girl repost this saying "I'm this girl"



DUDES: If you want this girl repost "I want this Girl"



LUCKY BASTARDS: "I have this girl" if you already have her

today was pretty good....i was picked up at ten thirty this morning...and me john..chris, and his friend weston went swimming in tonkwa falls in crawford.....it's really beautiful there....it's an awesome place...then we went back to johns house....to help his mom move some stuff to waco *(where they're moving)*...and i realized i didnt bring a dry pair of pants...so i borrowed some....and they're HUGE....i look so gangsta....hee hee.....but anyways....um...then we had to take john to work...they finish moving stuff in next week...so that's cool i guess....i'm being picked up again tomorrow afternoon...at around 2 or 2:30 for...john's graduation....his mom's already all emotional...it's funny/cute...but anyways....so i'm sitting at my house now....in a white wife-beater and these oober baggy shorts.....i swear i've never felt so gangsta in my life...hehe hehe...i find it hilarious...i'm sorry but yeah...that's my day...i know it doesnt sound exciting to everyone else....but oh well....that's why it was MY day and not YOURS...heh heh...just kidding....ok bye!!!

i'm lost in my own confusion....and i dont know how to make it better....

i have been having a great fucking spring break......i have spent the last two days with casey,which is always kick ass.....i love that little korean girl.....well.....um, lets see yesterday john and kristi and ed came over and we got kinda....well ok REALLY fucked up........and that lead up to mad passionate sex in the back seat of a very small car.......leaving me with bruises all over my knees.....and back.....oh well....lifes good and i'm happy and thats all i care about right now....is friends and john.....and....just being able to say "fuck it" and have fun damn it !!!! i'm 16 i'm supposed to save the worries for when i'm actually old enough to have grey hairs fucking-A!!!!!
heh heh...well, anywho......it's 12 in the morning.....me and casey are getting back into our regular clothes...i dont think we moved 2 feet today......but we gotta get ready for john and aaron and ed and a few other people.....to come over......heh heh.....i like intoxicating things....and it makes me feel like a hypocrite cuz i always said i would never do it....but.....i did....and it makes me feel kinda guilty to say.....that i LOVED IT....well, i'll catch up later....i love you guys....later,....

[♥If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you.♥]

it's gonna suck...not the actual move to austin but the fac that i could run into soemone who probablly really doesnt wanna see me any time soon....or...ever for that matter....is gonna be really awkward....oh well, it's not really that big of a deal.....we'll just have to be mature and get over it......and pretend we dont knwo eachother if need be.....it's weird...the kid is probablly moving to austin to get away from people like me...and here i go .....only 6 months after with my boyfriend.....to the same city.....sucks to be him....heh heh.....and no incase anyones wondering....i'm not stalking anyone....it's a coinsidence.....that i can help but laugh at.....heh heh

heh well.....on friday it will be one month for me and john...i have found nothing about him that i dont like...he's a great person and he's a sweetheart....he's HONEST which is a good thing....something most guys arent...but yeah, i'm actually happy, i never thought i'd be this way again.....but um, yeah, it's strange how i have only known him about a month and a half....and it feels like i've known him my whole life....it's great, he finds a way to make me smile no matter what.....he's my baby, and i love so much!!! *giddy happy smile*

tee hee...so for the next week i'm living at caseys' me and my mom got into a fight and i left.....blah....so tonight my baby , john is comign over here....yeah i thought it was time to make different memories so i can actually walk outside of caseys house and NOT cringe when i look up and see the shed......i hate that shed......

that fucker has some fucking nerve........he's lying......to TWO girls right now.....and neither of them would be willing to help themselves........and neither would he.....shows how much he cares....about either of them.....or how much he ever cared about me.......he's such an asshole.......was i really THAT pathetic at one time...?i feel sorry for them....but even more so for him he'll never be happy treating people like this...like trading cards.....it's disgusting

heh heh....i was at caseys and john and jack came over and we were all sooo tired and delirious it was funny as hell.....neither of them left until 3:00 AM......it was fun stuff......just because it was awesome hanging out with them, :)

i dont get it....i dont know what the hell is going on.....i dont know hwy he insisted on lying...but hey.....his choice......i mean...cecy's right....it IS his life.....but why lie to me?.....and try to tell me one thing and do another.....in the process.....it makes me feel like i never meant anything to him....who knows...maybe i didnt.....i just wish the feeling was mutual.....but it's not....i care about him....i ONLY EVER ASKED FOR HONESTY AND SIMPLE STUFF EVERYONE WANTS FROM SOMEONE........we'll see....so far he's not speaking to me....again....it's weird that he always stops talking to me when he gets pissed about something.....once again i dont get it....i've stopped trying to understand.....

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

[chorus]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
Shudder deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

[chorus]

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

[chorus]

i am happy i found the HIM video...join me....fo rmy vamp freaks account cuz elftown wont let you put videos on your profiles....oh well...:)

[this is me saving the guys a lot of trouble n hassal lol]
[12 Ways To Get To A Girls Heart]
1. Hugs her from behind.
2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING!
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT!
10. Brush the hair out of her eyes
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12. Love her with all your heart Girls- Repost this if you think its sweet. Guys- Repost this if you would do any of it

matchbook romance~promise

What would you say, if i asked you not to go?- To forget everyone, forget everything, and start over with me?
would you take my hand, and never let me go?-promise me you'll never let me go!! And now the stars arent out tonight, but neither are we to look up at them. why does hello feel like goodbye?

These memories cant replace these wishes i've wished and dreams i've chased. well take this broken heart and make it right!!

*I feel like, I've lost everything when you're gone. Left remembering what its like to have you here with me. I thought you should know, you're not making this easy.

I never thought i'd be the one to say. "Please dont...well please dont leave me!!"

*I feel like i've lost everything when you're gone. Left remembering what it's like, to have you here with me. I thought you should know- you're not making this easy.
     -you're not making this easy-

Take my hand and never let me go -take my hand and never let me go-Promise you'll never let go!!- never let go, never let go- you'll never go.....

*I feel like i've lost everything when you're gone, left remembering whats its like to have you here with me. I thought you should know. you're not making this easy.--you're not making this easy.

  -I'll fall asleep tonight because that brings me closer to you.....