Envy??

light appears in the void of my soul
then is taken away by darkness once more
its seems only death can take the toll
ill never be how i was before

now my thoughts are clouded
and my mind swarms with thoughts unclean
these are the consiquences with which im shrouded
i say i want life, but death is what i mean

this is one large emotional scar
but no matter how it tears at me,
i know exactly what you are
and thats something ill never be

Days get intersting in the passing of time
though this is my diary, it may be in rhyme
but i have commited no crime
in wishing the passing of a mortal soul
what may actually happen is out of my control
so if death were to grasp me today
would i be invited to where the richous stay
or be cast away
for the sin in venting shall never sway