[.M y . L o v e . S t o r y.]



<3

December 11th.
I was browsing along the awesome streets of Elftown. In search of nothing in particular. At this point in my life, I was going through the whole "Elftown Novelty" phase that im sure most people who join this community go through too. If not, its just me.
And so, with just one click, It happened.
And Thats where it Started.
That was the moment.
But we had no idea.
I reached his profile page, and I saw him. Dressed as a Ninja, half his face barely visable beneath the dark material over his mouth. His beautiful eyes, His Beautiful Hair, and well, I couldnt really see much else.
He was Cute. I thought.
"17." From "Canada."
"Involved."

Well. Realistically speaking, The chances of Anything happening were dim. Infact, the thought didnt even cross my mind. But, I messaged Him.
And thank god for that.
I messaged him saying "[Hey...You Make A Good Ninja Btw.]".
He replied polietly. "Hehe. Thanks".
Impersonal.
But What Am I supposed to expect.
I returned to his profile and read it from top to bottom. Thats when I realised that, Nicholas was...Different.
I cant really explain how, and I cant explain why. But there was something about him.
I continued Reading till you reach one of those unique online quizes you complete about yourself.
Layer 8 Question Four Got my Attention.

-- How do you want to die?

"In battle."

Ive never seen this response before. It seems silly to base all your impressions of a person on one statement, But I did. And I loved it. It was so "heroic" So "Strong". So Unique. So Nicholas. I was yet to discover.
We continued the irritating small talk, perhaps once in two weeks or so. Nothing much to say. Until I decided to take our "relationship" onto a new level by asking him for his Msn address. This way, I Could talk to him more and also, Seem Super Popular when friends saw the size of my contact list.

I seemed to be winning either way.
I spoke to Nicholas Occasionally, Some days we had the infamous Small talk. Hello, How are you, Gtg Now, Bye.
Other days, we seemed to, connect a little better. I could see he was opening up to me, telling me how he was feeling alot more.
When I asked him how he was, he wasnt always "fine" or "good.". He had other feelings to. He was so real. So human.
We discussed Life, Philosophies, Boyfriends and Girlfriends. Feelings, Being hurt, Music, Everything. Not just the casual chat, this was hardcore conversation.
I found myself deep in intellectual conversation or laughing my ass off at his stupid stupid jokes he seemed to have a continuous supply off.
We had silly conversations about silly things, and we had serious ones, about everything.
As time went on, this gradual feeling of closeness developed. I could feel it but I never admitted it to myself.
Everyday as I saw new pictures of him, Or on webcam with his Anti-Gravity hair, and his deep brown eyes, His perfect perfect nose, and his pretty lips he always bites, I began to feel myself getting more and more attracted to him.
He wasnt cute anymore. He was, something else, But I couldnt work it out.
Everytime he would sign in, ide be the first to say hello, and same with me.
He was always there to greet me as I was with him.
He had a girlfriend. It was funny actually, he sent me some pictures of them all together and I remember just seeing him.
Standing there, with her hands around him.
For the first time, I felt something. But I didnt know what.
I told myself I was being stupid. I remembered all the things he said about his Girlfriend, How much he Cared about her. They were having problems, and they were going to break up. And it was Hurting him. She cheated on him apparantly, and he was trying so hard to be brave. It broke my heart seeing him like this but I could never understand why.
"I was going to give her everything she needed in life" is what he said. And it sounded so true. How could she let go of something like this, something like him, A boy that came with a promise. You dont get People like Nicholas Anymore. It was then that I told myself "No." this isnt going to happen.
But I couldnt deney it.
I found myself rushing back from school just so I could talk to him a little while earlier.
Just a few more words.
Just a second.
I needed to talk to him.
And at school, oh boy. I saw him everywhere. I remembered all the things he said to me, how they made me feel, everything.
He was consuming my life, and, for me, it was frightening.
All at the same time, I wanted to be with him all the time, talking for hours on end on the computer, But I also wanted to just get away from this feeling, this change that was happening to me. I was so confused.
And then He Asked Me.
He said to me :
"Mally, Even though theres an ocean between us, Will you be my girlfriend?".
My heart was pounding. I still remember.
I liked Nick, Alot. But I still didnt understand. If I go out with this guy, would anything change? Would I still be going crazy all the time, missing him and thinking about him so much without actually meeting him at all?
But.
I said yes.
And I dont regret it.
From that moment, we both have changed.
But we changed together and as one. As a couple.
We both were new to this dating thing, neither of really knew what to do.
We were still learning, and still are.
I realise now that people are not perfect, but its the imperfection in Nicholas that I love the most.
Nicholas means patience. Nicholas Means time and love.
It took us a long, hard time to get to where we are now, and we're only moving forward.
We've had fights, arguments, disagreements, call it want you want. But its only strengthened us.
Nicholas now is a part of me, and a part of everything I do.
Something i cant just seperate, or "dump".
Its not even an option.


I just cant even begin to think of leaving him.
It would Kill me.
I would die without him. I couldnt physically carry on. I would commit suicide. If he wasnt with me, I wouldnt be able to breathe. Ide be almost suffocated. I just...Couldnt.
If the Hurt Alone didnt kill me, I would do it myself.
I dont want to let him down, I never want to disapoint him. I want to be perfect for him.
He took me away, and I cant come back.
He changed my life.
He changed everything.
Love is blind, and I blinded by him.
Im almost addicted to him.
Nick, if your reading this.
I cannot live without you.
I cant live without you.
My body wont let me.
It would hurt me so much.
I know you say that it would hurt you just as much, but why would you do it if you know how much it hurts.
Please dont.
I would be sick.
I'de throw up.
Ide shake, I couldnt breathe.
Ide die.
Ide break in two.
Ide be so scared.
You touched my heart.
You touched my life.
You changed everything Nick.
I want to kiss his lips.
I share everything with him.
He knows all of me.
I love all of him.
I just, could never let him go.
I cant live without him.
Ive heard him cry,
Ive heard him laugh
Ive seen him smile his most beautiful smile.
Ive seen him sad
Ive seen him happy.
I feel all his pain,
I feel all his Happiness.
I feel him.
I know him.
I know him well.
I know him more than i know myself.
I really found myself when i met nick.
He showed me how.
He's the one for me.
My best friend.
Hes become such a big part of me.#
My other half.
My perfect half.
My beautiful half.
Without him, ide be so ugly.
I couldnt live like that.
I couldnt live feeling so ugly.
I hate it.
I hate it so much.
He cant leave me.
Ide die.
Hes changed everything.
I cant go back
I cant go back now.

Only Because.
Im sad.
And
Im Empty.