I really DO love him.
I wish I could let him know,
all the time.
Every day.

Im not supposed to give a fuck.
Im not supposed to care.

Then why does it hurt?

Jess I was thinking.
Gerie DOES still want you.
If he didnt want you,
If he hated you so much,
If he didnt love you,
If he didnt need you,
If somebody really doesnt have those feelings of want love and need, its not hard to let go.
He would have let go by now.
He's still comign to see you.
Its not hard to cancel a ticket to somewhere you really dont want to go.
If you really dont want to go somewhere and meet somewhere, its not such a big deal to lose all that money.
But he;s still ocming to see you.
Ovbiously he still wants you.
Hes playign games with you though, which i dont agree with.
But whatever.
Or if some of the feelings are fading,
by him stkill comign to see you,
hes trying to make it work in his own weird way.
He still wants to see you.
He wants to see you jess.


After these 5 days
You both will fall madly in love with eachother once again.
And you will know you want to make it work.
It will be stronger.
and then he will get weird again
abnd you will feel hurted by what he says
what he does.
It will start again.
You need to decide if you are prepared to go through that again, it could lead to some thing beautiful in the future :)


Or THIS meeting may give you teh strength
to let go of him
to let go of gerie
and his hurt
and the scars he has givin you.
and you will find the strength to find some beauty in yourself.
And beauty in another boy.
And once again you will learn to love.


<3 and he will treat you so good.





Its your choice babe.


x

Oh oH ohhhhh.
Immmmmm a bohyyyBahhhnnnd.

Nick: Do you feel nactious?
Me: k, that spelling was so wrong.
Nick: nauscious*
Me: that too
Nick: HOW DO YOU SPELL IT o_o
Me: no idea
Nick: NAWSHUSS.
Nick: there

I've been um, listening to
Bright eyes for the past
2 hours.
Im so sad.
:'(

Interviewer: It is, it is. Uh, how ‘bout this Arienette? How does she fit into all of this?

Conor: I prefer not to talk about it, in case she’s listening.

Interviewer: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize she’s a real person.

Conor: She’s not. I made her up.

Interviewer: Oh, so she’s not real.

Conor: Just as real as you or I.

Interviewer: I don’t think I understand.



Its kinda like walking out a door to discover its a window.

Her New Year Resoloution's.

Near a sea of pianos, there were waves of chords that crashed against the shore.

Hey,
If we can find a way out of these problems.
Maybe we dont need them?

Dont Be Unoriginal, Cunts.
If I happen to find fragments of my page, floating around the
WORLDWIDEWEB.
You Will know about it.
And I Wont Be nice to you.
Just save yourself the trouble.
Just Dont do it.
How about you get a life of your own,
and try Super hard to be
Your Own Person.
Cunt.
Thats all.

Rawr.
Just
Woke
Up.
Today is an Ugly day I think. EEK.
I;ve had my hair curly for the past few days.
So I think imma go
.S t r a i g h t.
and
.S e x y.
Man, I love hair.
Have I ever told you that?
Well, I really do love hair.
So much.
I want to go Christmas shopping with mom this weekend;;
Otherwise Ill Never get anything done.
Listening to
Greenday. .
Hmm. Ew. They're new stuff sucks.
BUT, this is an old album, so I guess thats okay.


And listen.
Um um um um um.
No, nothing.
I forgot.
Oh yeah,
I woke up with these lyrics in my head;;
"If you could only read my mind you would see"
I dont know the rest, but the guy who sings it in my head
had a really high voice.
Yeah,so im on a QUEST to discover that.



I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live.

THATS NICHOLAS THATS NICHOLAS THATS NICHOLAS GUYS!

I dont know enough spanish to make myself understood.

Dear Diary of Cute,

Drama exam today, it was pretty good. Our performance was about "hippos" and "tigers" whilst others were about [.C h i l d a b u s e/] an all that stuff. It was quite funny.
Pre drama questions were like "When does the lighting dim after the first scene?"
Ours were like ::

"How do i give the giant spider high five behind that huge block?"

Yeah it was fun. Hung out with Ian after, we played Vice city.
He sucked so much.


He walked me to find my mom, it was so lame because apparantly she didnt know where she was, but she did, because we always drive past that road.
Anyway, we had a good talk about how intimidating Mel can be. It was fun.

Out.



Other:

No exams.

For all the torment
Loss of independence
For disrespect, carelessness with my emotions
For all the screams I swallow
How a soul is hollow
For giving into temptation
For making me feel like a cheap replacement.


I forgive you.

It is through this weakness that comes the strength.

It is through the Pain that comes the hope.

It is through the Questions that come the answers.

It is through the Black that comes the colour.

It is through the hurt that comes the healing.

It is through the wait that comes the time.

It is through the trials that comes the trust.

It is through the faith that comes the forgiveness.

It is through the darkness that comes the light.

It is through the never that comes forever.

It is through the tears that comes the smile.

It is through the life that comes death.

It is through the worries that comes the certainty.

It is through the stumbles that comes the step.

It is through the words that come the song.

It is through the love that comes the life.