Finally I'll see
the sky thats been
Avoiding
Me.

Nick: Dont be sad
Me: Im not sad!
Nick: then what are you?
Me: Im a girllll

I Prefer some of Oasis' Slower stuff, I think. <3 Like Dont look back in anger.
And,
Stop crying your heart out.

Me: Hey Babe, What colours do you think wouldnt suit me?
Nick: Hmmmm Maybe Yellow OR something.
Me: Dude you've never seeen me in yellow thats all.
Nick: Hehe, What about me?
Me: UMMM.....Gold :)
Nick: lmao.

You Know What?

Nope, Me either.

Hey, I had some to drink last night. But not too much, which is what I like. I find that the moment gets ruined if you have too much to drink. Much love in moderation right? Right. So then, Bertie slept over at mine. We talked till like, 5:30 in the morning, and we fell asleep tickling eachothers arms and hands.
It was pretty magical, Actually.
It feels so good to find someone who understands, and actually shares some of the weird shit that goes on in my head. For example, how I think, and all differnt voices and stuff that talk in my head when I need to do something really mundane, like climb the stairs.
Anyway I dont want to talk about it because Ill just seem like another of those "I hear voices, gunshots and dying babies in my head" girls.
Im not like that atall. Its just annoying. Bee knows how I feel though, and it feels so good to have someone.
We made some resoloutions together, which are pretty awesome.
We're gonna be emo.
We've decided to totally Re-Make ourselves from new year.
New clothes, new hair, new Me.
Everything. I know it sounds silly, how we're actually trying to AIM TO CONFORM by being emo.
Just like everyone else.
But it gets so fucking tyring trying so hard to be different and original all the time. Who knows, I might just become original and unique, without realising it. But till then, we're happy with conforming with everybody else.

She left this morning. I had to give her mom directions, I did so good, giving the fact that I suck at directions.
Now im listening to marshal mathers and life is good.


I love you Bee.

B: How much weed should we get?

M: Omg would you be quieter, my mom is just downstairs!

B: Sorrrrry!

M: K its alright.

B: So what shall we get?

M: um...*SO LOUD BY ACCIDENT* LETS GET SOME SKUNK

B: *stares*...That was loud.

M: SHIT.

B: Uhh

M: I mean, Skunk, the band skunk.

B: *shakes head*

Im a really slow Eater.
People almost always out eat me.

</3 New Year.

I used to say "Like" at the end of sentences
To just Piss people off like.
In real life, Lyke.

And now.
I cant Stop. Lyke.

Its not so bad on the computer,
Because I Can stop I guess, Lyke.
Or just not type it,
Lyke this. >No LYKE<
But, In real life,
Its Pretty bad.

I was doing it all last night with Hatty Lyke.
Kinda Addictive.





Like Bye.
/Out.

Snap Bang
Thts exactly like, what I was thinking like.

Bertie: Ohhh I was scared you couldnt come!
Me: What? You were scared you couldnt come? Well theres no need to be scared, seriously, its actually quite a nice experience.

Me: *plays "Sunrise Sunset - Bright eyes" for the 15 time in an hour*
Anu:...Do you like me? *totally seriously* really, have i been treating you okay?
Me: ofcuorse!
Anu: I havent been ignoring you right?
Me: noooo. why!!
Anu: Im nice to you right?
Me: Yes, are you sad?!
Anu:...yes:(
Me: HEEEEY *HUG* tell me whats wrong.
Anu: WTF DO YOU KEEP PLAYING THAT FUCKING SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

When was the last time you looked in the mirror?
Cuz you've changed.
Yeah you've changed.




Your Manic
Or Your
Depressed
Will you ever be Okay?


Your Lover is an Actress
Did you really think she would
Stay.

You either Coming
Or You've just left.
Your always on the way.

I really DO love him.
I wish I could let him know,
all the time.
Every day.

Im not supposed to give a fuck.
Im not supposed to care.

Then why does it hurt?

Jess I was thinking.
Gerie DOES still want you.
If he didnt want you,
If he hated you so much,
If he didnt love you,
If he didnt need you,
If somebody really doesnt have those feelings of want love and need, its not hard to let go.
He would have let go by now.
He's still comign to see you.
Its not hard to cancel a ticket to somewhere you really dont want to go.
If you really dont want to go somewhere and meet somewhere, its not such a big deal to lose all that money.
But he;s still ocming to see you.
Ovbiously he still wants you.
Hes playign games with you though, which i dont agree with.
But whatever.
Or if some of the feelings are fading,
by him stkill comign to see you,
hes trying to make it work in his own weird way.
He still wants to see you.
He wants to see you jess.


After these 5 days
You both will fall madly in love with eachother once again.
And you will know you want to make it work.
It will be stronger.
and then he will get weird again
abnd you will feel hurted by what he says
what he does.
It will start again.
You need to decide if you are prepared to go through that again, it could lead to some thing beautiful in the future :)


Or THIS meeting may give you teh strength
to let go of him
to let go of gerie
and his hurt
and the scars he has givin you.
and you will find the strength to find some beauty in yourself.
And beauty in another boy.
And once again you will learn to love.


<3 and he will treat you so good.





Its your choice babe.


x