Explain.
Everytime I think of him,
and What went on that night.
I don't see it, Instead I Hear it.
A song so awful,
and yet so perfect.


I dont know what im going to do.
I need to just shout it out,
and let it be heard.
This is bigger than me.
Feels out of my control.
Just out of my control.
I dont know how it will ever come out.
It has always been "What if".




I Need Him.
I Need Him.
I Need This.

Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.

Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?

Young Noah: *Yelling* Money. He?s got a lot of money!

Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.

Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if you weren't.

Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.

Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'

Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

Young Allie: So what?

Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I though that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.

Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.

Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?

Young Allie: It's not that simple.

Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?

Young Allie: I have to go now.

Its 12:02am and Im on my period.
I would like to wear a tampon during the night,
But that is bad.
But I hate being Heavyish period and
I hate having to wear a pad.
It makes me feel so uncomfortable,
specially in my heating blanketed bed Whom I love so dearly.
So if i put a tampon in now,
set my alarm for 5 am.
Change it then.
Into another tampy.
And then.
Hey presto,
I wont die of
TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME.





This is about, the most interesting thing in my life right now.

Im not Mad when he's late home.
I know I used to be sometimes.
But Never "Mad".
It was more just;
Hurt.
But I know he doesnt like that
So I stopped, and I like it.
And, I've learnt to just be happy
that he came back to me at all :$ <-Blushy face.

I always like talking to you.
Its like,
"DONT BE MAD AT YOUR HUSBAND FOR COMING HOME LATE, BE GREATFUL TAHT HE CAME BACK AT ALL"
Thats what I think.
It makes the time we do have afterwards, happier.

You can list your friends
but can you
Count
on
them?

You know what?
Everybody deserves to be loved.
to be wanted, needed.
To be seen as beautiful.
And its sad to see so many people,
Who have made up their mind that
there will be noone for them.
That there will be noone in this world who will find them beautiful.
Who thinks that just your smile gives them the strength
To carry on another day.
Somebody who will need you and yearn for you.
Somebody who will miss you when your not around, and someone who, no matter what, is there for you.
I know that sometimes you can feel invisable,
and feel like nobody sees you or notices you.
But you know what?
Theres always somebody who see's you,
Somebody who finds in your presence that life is worth while.
Somebody who notices everything you do, all the little efforts you make at being noticed,
and more importantly, all the little efforts you make
at shying away from the world.


So, your never going to be loved?
What makes you so different to everybody else in the world?

Nothing.

I was talking to a friend the other day about how nobody is attracted to her.
And nobody wants her.
Nobody loves her.
More importantly...
That this one boy, didnt want her.

Fine, I cant tell you that "No he likes you, for sure..."
Because what do I know?


I guess what i was trying to say was that :

You cant make people fall in love with you.
But You can make youself someone to fall in love with.

Me: Hey Ben
Bert: Hi ben
Ben: Whos this
Me: Mally
Ben: were u
Me: ...Huh?
Bert: WTF? HHAHA
Me: do you mean where am i?
Ben: no it means the same thing.
Bert: lmao wtfff
Me: Im at home.
Ben: whos msn u on?
Bert: HAHAHA. Ben, this is mally, do you know who mally is? She is on her account at her house. is that okay?
ben: brb
Bert: LMAO
Ben: ok so iz the pink writing mally and the brown writing bertie?
Bert: WTF MY FONT IS PINK TOO BEN.

I cannot cry.
Because I know its
weakness in your eyes.

Why does my dad even talk to me? I dont like him. He does'nt like me, So why? Its almost as if he is waiting for me to say one thing. One thing. One wrong thing. So then he can let it all out. And then it just keeps coming and coming. He's such an asshole.
Your the best.
Im wearing really nice clothes today. I like clothes. I like wearing jeans like shorts above my knees and wearing tights underneath it. They make me look taller. Im short.
I started my period for this month today. It was awesome. So, Im having a great time.



<3 I dont really have any plans for tonight, if you want to do something?

And who am I?
To give you what you need?


Today I woke up and went to some shop to buy things for my school trip to boston in Febuary.
Snowboarding.
I got home and I looked at myself in the mirror.
I like what im wearing today.