[Imperfected]'s diary
Mmmmkay...
I have a lot on my mind... And my heart is racing at a million miles per hour... I'm so antsy and freaked out and shaking..
I dont exactly know how I should act... Or feel... Considering everything is a huge mess right now.. God is really fuckign with my mind and I totally dont know how to react with all of this.
What have I done wrong? How should I get out of this without hurting me or the ones I love?
I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just want the truth to be revealed without hurting anyone.
Ugh.
*Sighs*
Out.
I dont know what the fuck I just did.
But I regret it
I was wrong
So fucking wrong damnit.
FuCk.
Mary - What came first... The chicken or the egg?
My Answer - The Egg
---I'm Scared Of Walking Out Of This Room, And Never Feeling The Rest Of My Whole Life, The Way I feel When I'm With You...---
Okay... Everyone has been asking me a bunch of dumb questions... Mainly my friends... And I am here to answer them!
Jacy- Why do you act all deep feeling online but are a total dumbass in person?
My Answer - I use the internet diaries and stuff to get otu what is going through my mind. I am a completely diffeent person on the inside. I think extremely different and have my own opinions. I'm more of a person than you think.
Others have asked me questions too... I just dont have time to put them in here.. Later!
<3
~Lita
Dash
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on his tombstone,
From the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came His date of birth And spoke the following date with tears,But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
(1986-2005)
For that dash represents all the time
That he spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved him
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile.
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
what would you do if:
[1) I committed suicide:]
[2) I said I liked you:]
[3) I kissed you:]
[4) I lived next door to you:]
[5) I started smoking:]
[6) I stole something:]
[7) I was hospitalized:]
[8) I ran away from home:]
[9) I got into a fight and you weren't there]
what do you think of my:
[1) Personality:]
[2) Eyes:]
[3) Face:]
[4) Hair:]
[5) Clothes:]
[6) Mannerisms:]
general stuff:
[1) Who are you?]
[2) Are we friends?]
[3) When and how did we meet?]
[4) How have I affected you?]
[5) What do you think of me?]
[6) What's the fondest memory you have of me?]
[7) How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?]
[8) Do you love me?]
[9) Have I ever hurt you?]
[10) Would you hug me?]
[11) Would you kiss me?]
[12) Would you make love to me?]
[13) Would you marry me?]
[14) Emotionally, what stands out?]
[15) Do you wish I was cooler?]
[16) On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?]
[17) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. ]
[18) Am I loveable?]
[19) How long have you known me?]
[20) Describe me in one word.]
[21) What was your first impression? ]
[22) Do you still think that way about me now?]
[23) What do you think my weakness is?]
[24) Do you think I'll get married?]
[25) What about me makes you happy?]
[26) What about me makes you sad?]
[27) What reminds you of me?]
[28) What's something you would change about me? ]
[29) How well do you know me? ]
[30) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? ]
[31) Do you think I would kill someone? ]
[32) Are we close?]
Hey everyone -
I know its been forever... I have nothing to really say. But I DO, however have to say that everything is over and I'm completely screwed. I'm such and idiot for believing dreams came true. This goes to a certain someone...:
If you had the intention of ruining everything I stand for, you damn well succeeded. Because of you, I'll never love anyone again. I dont believe in love anymore. I dont even believe I have a heart. It doesn't exist. So thanks for the moment of pleasure and pretending that you loved me. The only problem is that I believed it was for real. I'm a fool. And because of you, I now know how to be more careful. Goodbye forever.
Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...
As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favourite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don’t need a lot of wishes cause I’ll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I’d make you my whole life
And you’d be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I’ll go, then I can have you for sho
Then you’ll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don’t tell me what I’m feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn’t know what to do
I’d probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn’t be alone because without you I’m sick
Here’s my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don’t need a lot of wishes cause I’ll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I’d make you my whole life
And you’d be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
I don’t even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I’d make you my whole life
And you’d be my wife, make it right this time
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
'Cause I didn't know you
'Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby
[Chorus:]
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby
[chorus]
[Repeat chorus]
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together
Gotta change my answering machine Now that im alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Cant come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But its the only way i hear your voice anymore
(its ridiculous)
Its been months
And for some reason i just
(cant get over us)
And im stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
Im so over being blue
Cryin over you
And im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calender i have
Thats marked July 15th
Because since theres no more you
Theres no more anniversary
Im so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
Thats the reason im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio?
(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go
Turning off the radio
Cuz im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio?
(why cant i turn off the radio?)
Said im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant i turn off the radio?
(why cant i turn off the radio?)
And im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why cant i turn off the radio?
(why cant i turn off the radio?)
Why cant i turn off the radio?
This is every song at the moment that reminds me of you. And I despise every one of them. Especially the last one. Thats the only one I can stand right now because it describes everything I feel.
My Outer sanity has disappeared.
My inner sanity has expired
I am nothing but a mindless chaotic.
Thank you.Its not easy saying goodbye. Especially when you find out you were just halleucinating all along. God damn I'm a bitch. I'm sorry guys...I'm so sorry for everything I've done...You'll always be with me forever.
~Lita
Written about Saturday 2005-09-17
Written: (7009 days ago)
<img:
I can't stop Crying
Its all my fault.
Officially Mrs. Burdette!
Yay! Hehe...I'm married lol. Its so fun! Plus, he's so cute :)...Me <3's you baby! ^_^...So many things are going well lately...I'm all happy and prancy....W00t
Okay....So...I got into a fight today...With a good friend of mine...Because I said something I shouldn't have and accused him...Then he got REALLY pissed and called me a prissy bitch. :O...Yeah...An
THEN...I went shopping...Kin
Well the other day...(Like...yesterd
I do....Hehe...
So....I am bored and I have a lot to say about Cody :)...So I'm going to babble :)!!
Hehe...I call him every day at school on my lunch break right? And My lunch is 41 minutes...whic
This is our conversation half of the time:
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
Him: Honey....
Me: Honey!
And maybe once in a while we'll actually talk hehe...Its really cute ^_^...All my friends stare at me funny when I talk to him...Because my voice gets all high...Sometim
And we find the weirdest shit to talk about...Like random stuff....POINT
O.o and he'll call me at 2:00am and ask me why I'm sleeping so early ^_^...I'm like "Honey...I have to get up early for SCHOOL"
Him: Ohhh Yeah....
*Scoffs, tackling Cody ^_^*
Argh... :)...I'm in love guys...I'm in LOVE!!!!!! :D:D:D
Well I'll stop now...I need to do some stuffs...So Laters!!! <(OO)>
~Sandra
A Cat Fell Into A Pool
A Rooster Laughed.
What's The Moral Of The Story?
A Wet Pussy Makes A Cock Happy.
I HATE you.Okay....First Diary Entry For The New Name! YAY!
Alrighty...So today SUCKED ASS.
Not only did school suck...But come to find out...Someone hacked my other account on here and changed my password...PLU
All I have to say is this..:
When you decide to grow up and quit acting so immature and making up stuff about me, then maybe you can explain why you are doing this. If you think I am such a "Bitch" all the time to you...Its kind of like "Gee, I wonder why?"...You have ruined my relationship, my friendships, and my reputation as an individual here. The only thing I asked you to do was quit lying and ruining everything I have...You have messed with me before and I KNEW you would again..So thank you for ruining everything.
But....If you arent that person...Here'
GET A LIFE.
QUIT RUINING MINE
FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TORTURE.
If you really believe being immature about everything and changing my password and making up shit about me is fun...Go ahead...I really couldn't care less....I never come on here anymore anyway. Go ahead and ruin my internet reputation...I
[Now Back to Sandra With Happy Shit XD]
"Sandra, How is your life going today?"
*Sandra Grins Brightly* HORRIBLY!!!
Today...We saw an extra dark cloud hanging over Rosandralita's Head! It Rained! She got into a big fight, got barked at for being late, then she fell out of her chair and cut her neck on a desk...Which made her cry! When she got home, her phone wouldn't charge! Then she found out she had cancer...She died. The end. back to you Chad.
[ -x- LMAO -x- ]
Well...I think thats about it for today...Check back tomorrow for the latest weather reports, news and updates. Thank you and have a wonderful Night. This Is News 13 saying..."FUCK OFF!"
~Sandra