Ok gunnar if you read this i am really sorry...
Ok .... i have to do this just for my own mental health before i go insain....i love you gunnar...and i don't give a shit about what anyone else says i love you...i have since the biggining of the year...your perfect..i haven't loved anyone as much as i have loved you and i can't stand the thought of us being apart....even though we are right now.... and it just tears me apart when ever anyone talks about you...your all i ever think about and i am always talk about you and what we used to do...i love you gunnar and i always will....hugs and kisses forever and always
kelsey
does anyone even know your alive?...that is the question that i think about alot....does anyone even care...what you do....what you think...how you feel....i know how that feels and it sucks....like this guy i know....hes pritty cool but he doesn't think so......its funny how it works out that way.....i just hope he doesn't do anything stupid like kill himself because i do care...he doesn't know me that well but sometimes i think i should just tell him that there is someone who cares but then other times i think that he would just take it a joke....kinda sucks.....
then theres the fact that i think that one of my friends totally changed my EX-boyfriend and thats the reason that he broke up with me....because the same thing happened in jan. too...which really sucked because i caught it the last time but not this time.....
then theres always the fact that i think i like this guy that i hardly even know...but i know i will never in a million years get over my ex bf... he was so perfect and i loved him so much.....but he was just a great and perfect memory....i think that it will just take time to get over him......and if we do ever end up going out again (which will never happen ....even tho i hope it dose) well never mind...lets just say i have never loved someone as much as i have loved him and i don't think i will meet another persone as great as him....
GUYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
i think that the reason for all my pain is guys...well my fucked up family life too but i think mostly guys... WHY DON'T GUYS JUST STOP LIKING ME?????WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?!?!?!i say that now but i know one day i am going to want to go out with someone and i will be wishing for them to like me and be more then friends...GUYS ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID!!!!
sometimes i wonder why i'm even on earth...maybe theres no reason for me maybe im destaned to die....thats all i'm good for!!!!the only one i can really really talk to seems to be my friend Rafael...hes the only one who really understands me.....
life sucks!!! guys suck!! and i love Gunnar!guys really do suck!!!
yay i'm going out with jon!!!!!!!!!!! i love him soooooo much!!!! yay!!! all my friends don't approve tho :( they will have to deal with it tho!! i hate when boys get in the way of friendships!!!
Kelsey
my friend brianna got kissed!!!!!!! thats sooo cool
dear diary,
today was great cuz i had a b-day party to go to for my bff. then now i'm at my bff's house at a sleep over. its so fun!! yay
nothing is happing right now but its about 10:26! i feel like sleeping but i can't well g2g
~~~~kelsey~~~~
this is a really good day, except i don't feel to good. this rocks!