well i was dating this guy I was basically raised with that i have allways had strong feelings for but yeah he finally asks me out but the only thing is that he is 19 and im 15 its only 4 years and we can sit in a room together and neither one of us has to talk non stop because we know basically everything about eachother but were it went sour was he wasnt willing to talk o our parents about datingbecause he was afraid my grandfather would kill him so it was all secretive and it seemed like i was the one makin all the effort and then he decides to break up with me after about 3 months because he didnt get to see me
It has been awhile sense I could wright but brad is lettin me use his computer tonight while he sleeps tonight is such a peaceful night/morning its 1:50 but it doesnt feel like it if brad wernt hogging the bed I would crash with him but he kicks the shit out of me. I love my brad but he pushes me further and further away every year and one day im not going to be here and I dont know what he is goin to do scratch that i dont know what im goin to do he is my support my confidence and just thinking about it im sstarting to cry but I have to be quite so I dont wake him .he use to be extremely protective of me and now im lucky if i get asked if I have any problums and i cud realy use his help sence my mom went to live with my uncle in illinoise and im livin with my strict grndfather and i just want to boll all night tuesday is my grandma and grandpa'sweddi
Have you ever wanted to cry but couldnt and then when everyone is around you blow a gasket and boll!
You ever wake up one morning knowing it will be a wonderful day? I havent. and even if i did i dont think i would like it i have an act whenever I get close enough to a friend and start to remove my mask i drive them away im doing the same thing to my bestest friend (Rayna Sohma)I love her more than i can comprehend but im so confussed right now in my life i dont know who i am but who ever i am rayna is part of me in a sertain way. everyone says that they will allways be friends but then people move and lose contact. In a mader of yaers i will be clear in pittsburgh for the culanary arts and she will be in Kent or Ohio state or a diffrent state school because she gets a free scholorship because she is extremely hard of heiring omost def and lord now nether of our families can afford to pay for cologe im going to try to get a Vollyball scholorship or maybey get grants because of the way i was raised and were i was raised.
I am really into music and poems if you havent noticed *faint laugh*
King For A Day by Green Day (cd Nimrod)
Started at the age of four
My mother went to the grocery store
Went sneaking through her bedroom door
To find something in a size four
Sugar and spice and everything nice
Wasn't meant for only girls
G.I. Joe in pantyhose
Is making room for the one and only
King for a day princess by dawn
King for a day in a leather thong
King for a day princess by dawn
Just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me
My daddy threw me in therapy
He thinks I'm not a real man
Who put the drag in the drag queen
Don't knock it until you've tried it
Sugar and spice and everything nice
Wasn't meant for only girls
G.I. Joe in pantyhose
Is making room for the one and only
King for a day princess by dawn
King for a day in a leather thong
King for a day princess by dawn
Just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me
Sugar and spice and everything nice
Wasn't meant for only girls
G.I. Joe in pantyhose
Is making room for the one and only
King for a day princess by dawn
King for a day in a leather thong
King for a day princess by dawn
King for a day in a leather thong
King for a day princess by dawn
King for a day in a leather thong
King for a day princess by dawn
Just wait 'til all the guys
Just wait 'til all the guys
Just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me
Look So Pretty
Say what you will
I will walk past that plate of glass
Your time has passed
Dont ever say its my time
Burning hatred will light my way
A choice not an echo
And as your world comes down
I will be there
(chores) You look so pretty, digging your grave
You look so prettywhats left to save?
Say what you will
Eyes to the skyies
You look so pretty right now
Man I never got beat physicaly but mentaly that is a hole nother story. Im not like normal girls were when they love someone they can say it for me it took me a half of a year to be able to say I love you to even my mother after she left the closest thang to a da he sold my stuff digrated me when i was five tell i was ten then i started fighting back physicaly i dented a plate in his jaw he had to go to the haspitel for a saver injury to his groin and then my mom finally realived why I was doing it so for the last year I have made as little contact with the worl thats what the internet is for I guess you could say.
Ok ok I know a lot of people like to cyber. But please do it on your own IM and not in a chat room.lPlease dont invite someone to cyber with you when other people are around I know it is none of my bussnies what you do but Its just something I dont like to read people doing I mean If I wanted to I would IM the person and go hey wanna cyber but not for the hole world to see.
Time
Day after day
I am reminded
Im running out of time
to say my last goodbye
There leaving me
Ill be here alone
Ill have nobody
Im fine with that
its always that way
Im always alone
nothing to say
Im running out of time
to say my last goodbye
Im falling out
I dont know when
I dont know why
Time is running out
Time is making me cry