[banu]'s diary
Your Cloud
Where the river cross
crosses the lake
Where the words
Jump off my pen
and into your pages
Do you think just like that
You can divide
This
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were Us
if the rain
Has to separate from Itself
does it say "pick out your cloud?"
pick out your cloud
If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs from the MAP
off your body
straight through the Land
shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked
know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your cloud"
How Light can play
and form a Ring of Rain
that can change bows into arrows
(I found a thrill)
Who we were
isn't lost Before
we were Us
Indigo
in his own Blue
always knew this
if the rain
Has to separate from Itself
does it say
pick out your cloud
~Tori Amos
Please forgive me If I have oversteped the limit... There is no way to reach you anymore... It is your birthday today and I have followed that way to say "happy birthday"...I know your decision about me and I cant do anything except respecting you and accepting reality...I have already forgetten your words that have broken my heart but they have also helped me to find a way I can bear with...This is life,its very self...I am really so lucky because you have added lots of wonderful things to me and If you ask me that all is enough, my answer will be yes.Thank you so much for wonderful times you have shared with me, for the way you have tried to teach me, for your loving friendship you have laboured...I am thanking you with all my heart...Happy birthday dear friend!~from an old friend
la bohème
je vous parle d'un temps
que les moins de vingt ans
ne peuvent pas connaître
montmartre en ce temps-là
accrochait ses lilas
jusque sous nos fenêtres
et si l'humble garni
qui nous servait de nid
ne payait pas de mine
c'est là qu'on s'est connu
moi qui criait famine
et toi qui posais nue
la bohème, la bohème
ça voulait dire on est heureux
la bohème, la bohème
nous ne mangions qu'un jour sur deux
dans les cafés voisins
nous étions quelques-uns
qui attendions la gloire
et bien que miséreux
avec le ventre creux
nous ne cessions d'y croire
et quand quelque bistro
contre un bon repas chaud
nous prenait une toile
nous récitions des vers
groupés autour du poêle
en oubliant l'hiver
la bohème, la bohème
ça voulait dire tu es jolie
la bohème, la bohème
et nous avions tous du génie
souvent il m'arrivait
devant mon chevalet
de passer des nuits blanches
retouchant le dessin
de la ligne d'un sein
du galbe d'une hanche
et ce n'est qu'au matin
qu'on s'assayait enfin
devant un café-crème
epuisés mais ravis
fallait-il que l'on s'aime
et qu'on aime la vie
la bohème, la bohème
ça voulait dire on a vingt ans
la bohème, la bohème
et nous vivions de l'air du temps
quand au hasard des jours
je m'en vais faire un tour
a mon ancienne adresse
je ne reconnais plus
ni les murs, ni les rues
qui ont vu ma jeunesse
en haut d'un escalier
je cherche l'atelier
dont plus rien ne subsiste
dans son nouveau décor
montmartre semble triste
et les lilas sont morts
la bohème, la bohème
on était jeunes, on était fous
la bohème, la bohème
ça ne veut plus rien dire du tout
Charles Aznavour
IT’S ONLY LOVE
(John Shanks/Shelly Peiken)
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO TURN A NIGHT INTO DAY
I'LL MEET YOU HALFWAY AND WE'LL SEE IT THROUGH
WE'RE JUST STANDING HERE
THERE'S ONLY ME AND YOU
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T FEEL IT
CAUSE I FEEL IT TOO
WELL THESE DREAMS WE CAN USE
GOD'S GRACE IS LIVING PROOF
WE'LL TAKE THE TIME, AND GET IT RIGHT
SO COME ON, COME ON, COME ON
I KNOW WE CAN MAKE IT
I'll HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS
IT'S ONLY LOVE THAT KEEPS US STRONG
SO COME ON, COME ON, COME ON
SO MUCH WE'VE WASTED
WE'RE RIGHT WHERE WE BELONG
I'T ONLY LOVE THAT KEEPS US STRONG
NEVER TOO LATE TO FINALLY TAKE A SECOND CHANCE
AND I SAW MINE, WHEN I SAW YOU
EVERYTHING CHANGED THE MOMENT WE BEGAN AGAIN
OUR BROKEN HEARTS WERE PULLING THROUGH
SOMETHING REAL, SOMETHING CLOSE
HELPED US FEEL, AND LET US GO
SO HERE WE ARE, NOW WE KNOW
I HAVE BEEN A BEGGAR
AND YOU HAVE BEEN A FOOL
WE'VE BEEN LOST BEYOND REPAIR
BUT YOU HAVE TOUCHED MY SOUL
AND I HAVE BENT YOUR RULES
ONLY LOVE COULD SAVE US
SHOW US WHAT WE'RE MADE OF
~Joe Cocker
I’M LISTENING NOW
(J.SHANKS / TONIO K.)
THERE WERE TIMES, I WAS SURE
EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
THE SUN WOULD SHINE, THE WORLD WOULD TURN
NO MATTER HOW, I LIVED MY LIFE
NEVER NEEDED ANYONE'S ADVICE
WELL THAT WAS THEN
TODAY I'M THINKING TWICE
I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW
WE ALL GOT OUR OWN PLAN
OUR OWN WAY TO EASE THE PAIN
WE ALL FIND OUR OWN MEDICINE
FROM BLINDING FAITH TO NOVACAIN
TO STOP THE WORLD
AND FILTER OUT THE NOISE
BUT SOONER OR LATER YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO THAT VOICE
I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW
THERE WERE TIMES, I WAS SURE
EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
THE SUN WOULD SHINE, THE WORLD WOULD TURN
NO MATTER HOW, I LIVED MY LIFE
LOVES THE ANSWER JUST LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAID
COME ON BABY, TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE INSTEAD
~Joe Cocker
Lionel Richie....HELL
I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Passing outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Because you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again
How mcuh I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let start by saying I love you
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
Becuase I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let start by saying I love you
Tori Amos song which is Sleeps With The Butterflies
Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy
Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy
Bob Dylan song which is one more cup of coffee
Your breath is sweet
Your eyes are like two jewels in the sky.
Your back is straight, your hair is smooth
On the pillow where you lie.
But I don't sense affection
No gratitude or love
Your loyalty is not to me
But to the stars above.
One more cup of coffee for the road
One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
To the valley below.
Your daddy he's an outlaw
And a wanderer by trade
He'll teach you how to pick and choose
And how to throw the blade
He oversees his kingdom
So no stranger does intrude
His voice it trembles as he calls out
For another plate of food
Your sister sees the future
Like your mama and yourself
You've never leardned to read or write
There's no books upon your shelf
And your pleasure knows no limits
Your voice is ilke a meadowlark
But your heart like an ocean
Mysterious and dark
Can you cry because of anyone's pain?Is it possible thing you will believe in?Can you feel of that pain someone suffers?Well then, is it about empathy or anything else?
Yes, I have ever cried because of someone's sorrow...I have found out a mail within my book...It was sent by a friend who was my good friend...I have read it before but when I read it again, it made me so sorry and in pain...I have never lived them which were said by him...As a matter of fact, It is not possible to live same things...If you want to feel same emotions, you can...If you want to see same point following by someone, you can see...It is called as empathy but the thing I lived was different...Wh
One of The Four Noble Truths
The path to the End of Suffering: The path to end suffering is known as the Noble Eightfold Path. It is also known as the Middle Way.
One of The Four Noble Truths
The End of Suffering: To end suffering, one must cut off greed and ignorance. This means changing one's views and living in a more natural and peaceful way. It is like blowing out a candle. The flame of suffering is put out for good. Buddhists call the state in which all suffering is ended Nirvana. Nirvana is an everlasting state of great joy and peace. The Buddha said, "The extinction of desire is Nirvana." This is the ultimate goal in Buddhism. Everyone can realize it with the help of the Buddha's teachings. It can be experienced in this very life.
One of The Four Noble Truths
The Cause of Suffering: The Buddha explained that people live in a sea of suffering because of ignorance and greed. They are ignorant of the law of karma and are greedy for the wrong kind of pleasures. They do things that are harmful to their bodies and peace of mind, so they can not be satisfied or enjoy life.
For example, once children have had a taste of candy, they want more. When they can't have it, they get upset. Even if children get all the candy they want, they soon get tired of it and want something else. Although, they get a stomach-ache from eating too much candy, they still want more. The things people want most cause them the most suffering. Of course, there are basic things that all people should have, like adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Everyone deserve a good home, loving parents, and good friends. They should enjoy life and cherish their possessions without becoming greedy.
One of The Four Noble Truths
Suffering: Everyone suffers from these things:
Birth~ When we are born, we cry.
Sickness~ When we are sick, we are miserable.
Old age~ When old, we will have ache and pains and find it hard to get around.
Death~ None of us wants to die. We feel deep sorrow when someone dies.
Other things we suffer from are:
Being with those we dislike,
Being apart from those we love,
Not getting what we want,
All kinds of problems and disappointment
The Buddha did not deny that there is happiness in life, but he pointed out it does not last forever. Eventually everyone meets with some kind of suffering. He said:
"There is happiness in life,
happiness in friendship,
happiness of a family,
happiness in a healthy body and mind,
...but when one loses them, there is suffering."
~Dhammapada
Attavagga - The Self
If one holds oneself dear, one should protect oneself well. During every one of the three watches the wise man should keep vigil.
I cant remember each words I have recieved, it is because of my forgetful mind...It is too hard to all human beings to control their mind If they can say some wrong words...It is just like lapsus...A friend always says that all lapsuses we do talks instead of us...But we HAVE to remember a reality...You can do lapsus If English is not your nature language...and you cant express yourself freely in other languages you can talk...
Then, can we blame anyone If they cant express their nature and real being?I know that It will take a long time to forget all my sorrows...But something was special for me...I wished that something was special for him too...I remember some words which were said by a friend:
We wont be same after this meeting...
I am adding a sentence:
I will NEVER be same after this separateness..
Arahantavagga - The Perfected One
He who corruptions are destroyed, he who is not attached to food, he who has Deliverance, which is Void and Signless, as his objects, - his path, like that of birds in the air, cannot be traced.
Jaravagga - Old Age
What is laughter, what is joy, when the world is ever burning? Shrouded by darkness, would you not seek the light?
Cittavagga - The Mind
Like a fish that is drawn from its watery abode and thrown upon land, even so does this mind flutter. Hence should the realm of the passions be shunned.
The mind is hard to check. It is swift and wanders at will. To control it is good. A controlled mind is conducive to happiness.
It is from Buddhism...
"There is happiness in life,
happiness in friendship,
happiness of a family,
happiness in a healthy body and mind,
...but when one loses them, there is suffering."
Dhammapada
I am really in shock... Because there is hate... Hate...Hate??!
What did I do to deserve this? Did I kill anyone? Did I annoy anyone with sexual intention? Did I REALLY manipulate anyone? I am a manipulative person and also blocked member!!! How an adult human being allows anyone to manipulative himself? Can it be true? What a beautiful birthday to me!!! I have learnt alot of new things in my new age... You shouldnt believe anyone easily... You shouldnt trust anyone easily... You shouldnt ADMIRE anyone easily... You listen to what they want to say but you are NOT allowed to be listened by someone!!! I am asking where the respect is?? You want to recieve a respect but you show your respect with such a way? Is it fair?? No, this is not fair... Even A murderer has a deserving to defend himself and it is that speaking and being LISTENED... I wonder If I think that I am only human being on earth?? or someone?
But, unfortunately there is no hate in my heart... I cant hate anyone... It is not my REAL nature... I cant do anything or I cant change anything If someone wants to believe that I am manipulative person...Becau
I think I have grown up one more age... Is it enough for someone?
The unique thing human being can change is herself/himsel
Tomorrow, It is my birthday...I know all my friends will say "Happy Birthday"...Ex