I PASSED MY TEST! IpassedmytestIpassedmytestIpassedmytest! *dances* I got to work and they're like, "Oh by the way, your test is today." Dewa! So I go all day without worrying about it, I drive over to the testing site not worrying about it. I sit down to take the test and start worrying about it. So I worry about it all through the test, and the whole time the lady's grading it. Then she looks up and goes, "You passed." That's all. Just "You passed." Then she called Lindsay (head waitress when Monica isn't there, and Monica happens to be on vacation) and told her that I passed and would be ready for work tomorrow. Kick ass! You know what that means? That's right - I get to keep my tips! WOOT! *dances some more* Damn I'm good! ^_^

I don't have work again until Sunday, cuz Maria is on register and there's no one else for them to put me with. And I finally got off my lazy butt and went exploring and found Victory Drive (Highway 27 turns into Veteran's Parkway turns into 4th Avenue dead ends into Highway 80 turns into Victory Drive), then explored a bit more and found Superior Skin Art. I looked around a bit, and couldn't find quite what I was looking for. So I asked the guy, and he showed me the things that they have that are along the same lines, and I didn't really like those. Then he tells me I can just pick the shape that I want and tell them I want it in a different style. I didn't like any of the shapes, either. So I asked them for a sheet of paper and a pencil, and I drew the one I had designed myself. Gave it to him, he showed it to the girl that actually does the tattooing, asked me what size, and told me it would be about $90. Not bad! Not bad at all! And Sakana didn't get me a present when I turned 17, so she said she'd pay for my first tattoo or piercing when I turned 18. Well...that tattoo is more expensive than a nose piercing, so I'll let her pay for it. I can use the money I make waiting tables to get my nose pierced. ^_^ SO! I need to call her and tell her to save $90 out of her next paycheck then bring her happy ass to see me. Then we'll go and she'll pay for it and I'll get my tattoo. But where will I get it? I haven't thought about that...any ideas? I'll change my poll...

Today wasn't so bad. The first three or four tables were crappy, but after that I did okay. Man, the last seven tables I waited (by myself, mind you) either left several dollars on the table or even more on their credit card, and damn if I didn't have to hand them over to Maria... GWAR! I waited those BY MYSELF. That was probably...let me count...at least $20 in tips. Granted, I don't HAVE to give her the tips, I mean, if people hand them directly to me then how's she gonna know? But aparently I'm a pansy and don't want to break the rules. Hmph. BUT! I did keep a five this one guy handed to me. Because I earned it. Damn it. And they cancelled my "Sales and Service" class (ooh, that's a snide remark just waiting to happen) that was supposed to be this afternoon and rescheduled it for April 13th or 14th...meaning, I can't take my test until AFTER that. Meaning I'll be "in training" and taking shit from everyone and not getting to keep my tips for another two weeks. Ugh. I do fine when I'm on my own, it's when I have to deal with people trying to tell me what to do that I mess up. There IS a method to my madness, whether they know it or not, and them trying to remind me of all the things I have to do only confuses me and makes me screw up. So. Bleh. AND! Wes (un tres, tres mignon garcon) isn't just swishy - he flames. With both hands. And a foot. How did he put it? "I'm fanning the flames of my faggotry." IT'S SO IRRITATING! Almost all the cute ones are either gay or taken - or both. So, out of the entire staff at Country's North, it's just me, Wes, and some girl on night shift that wear rainbows. (I have a ribbon that I use as a bracelet, Wes has a ring he got in Atlanta when they had the parade, and the girl on night shift has a necklace.) It was kinda funny, actually, Wes showed me the ring and told me where he got it, and I informed him (too loudly, perhaps) that I had really wanted to go, but didn't get to. So a few minutes later Maria comes up and goes, "So are you a part of Wes's family?" Prompting Wes to yell from the ice machine "My rainbow family!" It's not fair. I'm very much not his type (in a big and general sort of way), and the girl on night shift is not even CLOSE to cute...although I suppose that's good, it would be a very bad idea to date someone you work with. But still. The line guys (mostly black guys in their late twenties/early thirties) are nice to me though. "How you doin', beautiful?" Makes me feel better. ^_^ Kinda like when I looked and felt like crap and Chad would lisp, "You're looking especially lovely today." Oh, I loved Chad. Tall, built, beautiful eyes, smooth skin, could dance and looked great in tight sweaters... *sigh* Anyway. I need to go pick my mom up from work.

O.o Dewa. How do I go about explaining this? I've just received the best compliment ever. You see, there's this song called "Right Here In My Arms" that Yesu said "It's cool, it reminds me of you." Okay. I'd never heard the song before. Aparently it's on a CKY soundtrack or something; I don't know, I don't watch it. Anyway. So I'm looking for it, and I can't find it. So I go online, on LimeWire to see if it's there by some weird twist of fate. And it is. So I'm downloading it. Then I go hunting for the lyrics because I'm impatient. And I find them. And read them. And melt into the floor.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/him/righthereinmyarms.html

I must be looking particularly sexy today. I went to meet my mom for lunch, then went window-shopping at the mall. And every store I went into where there was a male working, he was falling all over himself to ask me if I was finding everything okay. So I'm either looking better than usual or I look like I've got lots of money. Although if I had lots of money I probably wouldn't be wearing a tank top and beat-up blue jeans, with my hair in a sloppy ponytail. I don't know. Maybe...I don't know. But it made me feel good. ^_^

Went to physical therapy for my back this morning. Gah!!! Now it hurts worse than it did before! But I have a normal range of movement now, so I guess I don't mind a little ache here and there. Gotta go back again next week...and Mr. Physical Therapist Man said something about getting me a prescription (muscle relaxants perhaps?) for my neck. O.o Alrighty. Didn't think it was that bad, but if he wants to give me happy drugs then he can go right ahead. ^_^

Second day at work! They gave me a ticketbook, but no apron yet. I don't think they have any to spare. And I think I was still supposed to be following Maria around, but she would be taking one table's order and more people would be seated, so I went over and took care of them. (That's actually what we have to say when we approach a table: "Hi, my name's _______, and I'll be taking care of you today.") I didn't mess anything up, so Maria was like, "Okay, well, carry on then." So I took orders and called orders and ran food and refilled drinks and pre-bussed tables and put more paper on tables once they'd been bussed. (We don't have tablecloths...we have brown butcher paper, with crayons on the tables so you can draw on it if you want.) And once it slowed down in our area, I helped other people. I ran food and refilled drinks and brought to-go boxes for folks that Heather didn't feel like dealing with. It was fun. The last guy I waited on was kinda scary, he ordered an entree and two beers right off the bat, then another beer when I went back to check on him (before he had finished the second one). I figure he must have lost his dog or his job or his wife or something, because who goes to a restaurant and orders three beers? I mean, if he had been at the bar it wouldn't have seemed so strange, but he sat in a booth in the non-smoking section and looked out the window all forlorn while drinking his beers. Maria told me that he looked like he didn't want to be bothered, so -I- could check on him and give him his ticket since -I- was his waitress. He didn't get rude or anything. He was very courteous, as a matter of fact. I clocked out after giving him his ticket and pre-bussing his table, so I don't know if he left a tip or not. (I'm not "officially" waiting tables yet, so I don't get to keep tips - even if the people hand them to me personally. Once I've taken my test and gone to orientation, I'll be able to keep tips. But for now, Maria gets them.)

I think that's all...got work again Sunday (11 am, gah!) but I don't mind. I enjoy it, and church folks are pretty nice. Except the old ones. Old church people get downright rude. But that's when you smile and go back to the kitchen, where you cuss them while you're fixing whatever they say is wrong. ^_^ And...let's see...Yesu and Stevie and Dante and Morgan and the rest of the crew are on spring break the week after I take the test and go to orientation, so I'll be waiting tables on my own for the first time that week. Oh, that's loovely. Because I know they'll come up there. And ask specifically to be seated in my area. And Stevie will make it a point to be difficult and unpleasant to deal with. And then I'll get fired for giving a customer a healthy smack upside the head. ^_^

Well, I guess that's all. A bientot!

Okay! Where do I start?

I went to Wesleyan for Pioneer Weekend. Got to stay in the dorms and all. It was neat. I'm so excited about going there! I was diggin' the bookstore. Got a visor that says "Wesleyan College - Macon, GA" and a pair of athletic shorts that say "WESLEYAN" across the butt. They're great. ^_^

Today was my first day at work. I'm in "training" so I have to follow Maria around. After about thirty minutes I was like, "Give me an apron and a little ticket book thingie and let me do it! I'm just getting in the way following her around, and I know what to do!" But I had fun. It's not as bad as I thought it would be.

MWAHAHAHA! I pushed over the first domino yesterday! *grins mischeivously* Hehehe. Oh, and it was lovely. So lovely. Gotta find a way to see him again...

I GOT A JOB! Woohoo! *dances* Granted, it's as a waitress at Country's Barbecue, but it's a job. That makes money. And a buttload in tips if I play my cards right. ^_^ The rednecks that frequent Country's will drop serious cash if their red-hair-in-a-ponytail-wearing-tight-jeans-and-a-Southern-accent waitress does even a halfway decent job, as long as she smiles. A lot. The only job that makes better tips (well, aside from stripping, of course) is working as a waitress at a truck stop. Because truckers are very lonely men. They'll leave you a $20 tip for serving them a $5 pot of coffee. (Voice of experience!) SO! I'm looking forward to it. I start next Monday. Wish me luck? I have to try and be perky at 9 in the morning, but I think I can pull it off. ^_^ And maybe I'll make enough in tips my first few days to pay the $70 retainer fee on a dress that I've been lusting after. (Yeah, me in a dress. A formal dress, at that. Go figure.) I'll see if I can get a picture of me trying it on at the store, then I'll put it up so y'all can see it. It is gorgeous. And it actually fits! (Okay, it has to be hemmed about 4 or 5 inches, but otherwise it fits.) Most of the dresses I tried on were either way too long or way too tight in the waist or way too big in the bust. Who do they make these things for? Twiggy? I don't think I have EVER met a girl who is 5'10" with a 23" waist and D cups. I think the designers must be either men with seriously out-of-touch-with-reality sexual fantasies or women who are grotesquely abnormal freaks of nature. There's no way. But anyhow! This one fits in the waist and bust and is only about 5 inches too long...actually, when you factor in the high heels, it's only about 3 inches too long. So I'm good to go. As soon as I get the money. It's $140, and I have to give them $70 to make sure they don't sell it to someone else, then I can pay the other half over time. So I'm gonna be busting my butt at work. I'm gonna smile till my face hurts and be so perky I can't stand myself. But it'll be worth it. It is a GORGEOUS dress. ^_^

MWAHAHA! I am loving this being single thing. I can actually say "Damn the consequences!" and do what I want without worrying what anyone else will think. I gave my number to the hottie at the Chinese restaurant that always remembers to bring me Dr. Pepper and chopsticks. I've been wanting to do that since last year! I doubt he'll call me, or that he'd be able to carry on a conversation in English if he did call me, but it felt very liberating to leave my number scrawled on a napkin for him. ^_^ And I had a mini-slumber-party with one of my bi chicas...that was...interesting. And Yesu! I'm SO going to seduce Yesu! And not just because I can...we actually made an agreement that we'd get together if we were ever single at the same time. So...now we're both single...and he's very much sexy...so I'm very much going to molest him... ^_~ I love it! I don't think I'll ever be in a binding relationship again...it's so much more fun being free!

And my boyfriend (who's been my friend for five years) broke up with me. Because I got depressed about seeing my ex. Jealousy, aparently, or something akin to it. The jerk. I wasn't aware that I'm supposed to completely forget and have no feelings whatsoever for the FATHER OF MY SON, but I never was too good at doing what I'm supposed to. So...to hell with him! To hell with him, and to hell with Alex, and to hell with guys in general!

I saw my ex yesterday. This is a song I wrote when I got home from seeing him. Gods, that was depressing...

_________________________________________________________
"A Certain Shade of Grey"

I saw you today
I thought the memories had gone away
Cause I've been trying so hard to forget about you
But it's all in vain
I felt you today
I felt your presence all in that place
And I remembered all the things I love about you
Your smell, your touch, your words, your taste
And let's play a game of make-believe
Pretend we are like we used to be
Back before I felt trapped and scared
And you began to doubt that I ever cared
But I loved you then
Like I love you still
And I can try to forget these feelings for you
But I don't think I ever will
I missed you today
I missed the things that you used to say
Cause even though you're standing right here by me
You're a million miles away
I mourned you today
I mourned the family we could have been
Cause I can see that you're moving on
It's my own damn fault, I can't ask you to stay
But let's play a game of make-believe
Pretend we are like we used to be
Back before I felt trapped and scared
And you began to doubt that I ever cared
But I loved you then
Like I love you still
And I can try to forget these feelings for you
But I don't think I ever will
I saw you today
I thought the memories had gone away
Cause I've been trying so hard to forget about you
But it's all in vain

I'm so sick of being "one of the guys." *dances around naked* I'm female! See? Female! Lots and lots of estrogen! Lacking in external genitalia! What's wrong with my friends?! The only friends I have that even notice that I'm a girl are gay, and they only notice because they're irritated with me for being female - "Why do you have to be a girl, you'd make such a cute guy, I would so hit on you if you were a guy." GRRR!

GOOD GOD. That was by far the FREAKIEST movie I have ever seen! Creepy creepy creepy! *twitches* I am never seeing another scary movie as long as I live. It was very well made, mad props to the director for that...but I don't want to see it again. Morgan has seen the stupid thing three times, he's like "it gets better every time you see it!" but if being creeped out like that is "good" then I DEFINITELY don't want it to get "better"! I mean, if I had read the script I would've been highly impressed...the plot was very good (as opposed to Darkness Falls, that had virtually no plot or plot progression). But the visuals, the visuals did me in. I am NEVER watching another scary movie. EVER! Morgan left the theater with angry red crescent-moons on the soft underside of his forearm (he was sitting beside me). *twitches some more* CREEPY!!!!

IS THERE NOWHERE ONLINE THAT I CAN BUY A DECENTLY PRICED WAND THAT IS NOT A CHEAP HARRY POTTER RIP-OFF????? *flares nostrils and bares teeth & claws*

I am such a sucker. Somehow or other Morgan and Bryan managed to talk me into going to see The Ring. Well, rather, they threatened to come kidnap me and make me see a late-night showing of it if I don't go willingly to see a matinee. I know they're serious and I'd rather see it in the daytime, thank you. So now I have to go see this creepy-ass movie with guys who laugh through scary movies, and little bitty me will be the only one who's terrified. Damn them. But that's okay, I'll get them back...they're watching Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood next time we game at my house! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Let's see...tomorrow's Valentine's Day, right? Dammit. I don't like Valentine's Day. I think it's because I expect too much. It's such a big deal to girls, and I guess it isn't for guys. In years past, if I had a boyfriend when Valentine's Day came around, I expected him to do something sweet or romantic or what have you. I mean, I would do sweet stuff for him, why not? And if I didn't have a boyfriend, I would hope one of my guy friends would do something nice for me because I was so pitiful. And I got disappointed every time. I guess guys just don't understand...Valentine's Day for a single chick is like Christmas for an orphan. So I figure, this year I'll hang out with Lishabet. So THERE! We don't need no stinking guys! *sticks out her tongue at all the guys who ever forgot to be sweet to their girlfriend or single female friends on Valentine's Day*

Has anyone else noticed that there are a whole lot more girls than guys here in Elftown?

I went to see "Darkness Falls" a few weeks ago. Scared the bejesus out of me. I mean, I still have trouble sleeping with the light off. Creepy stuff! And now Morgan wants me to go see "The Ring" with him. Has he lost his bloomin' everlovin'?! I'm usually okay with scary movies. CREEPY movies are different. He's off his gourd if he thinks I'm about to sit through a creepy movie in a dark theater with someone who's already seen it. No. I'm not gonna be the only one that's terrified.

I had heard "All the Things She Said" on the radio. Pretty cool. Then I see the video. ...Interesting. So I go looking for the lyrics. Reminds me of my Lishabet. Then I find pictures. Good god. Lots of yummy Russian goodness. Those are two very much attractive young ladies. So now I'm a huge t.A.T.u. fan.

It's been a week now. I'm hanging in there, but it's tough. Maybe it'll get easier with time.

I was not aware that the cab of a Chevy Silverado could hold five teenage boys. Some of my friends came to see me today - well, rather, Yesu wanted to see me, Steve has a vehicle, and three more of them decided to tag along. Made me feel better, I haven't seen them since last Friday. (Yesu is my cosmic twin, not getting to see him is like not having the use of one side of my body.)

Anyway...I guess I don't really have much else to talk about.

Oh! My friend Jessie is having a hard time with her pregnancy, so if you're the praying type, please keep her in your thoughts. Thanks!