[Heather Thomason]'s diary
Have you ever...
[no] been drunk.
[no] smoked pot.
[yes] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[no] rode in a taxi.
[yes] been dumped.
[no] shoplifted.
[no] been fired.
[yes] been in a fist fight.
[yes] had sex.
[no] had a threesome - kissing or otherwise
[no] snuck out of your parent's house.
[no] been arrested.
[yes] made out with a stranger.
[no] stole something from your job.
[no] celebrated new years in times square.
[no] went on a blind date.
[no] lied to a friend.
[yes] had a crush on a teacher.
[no]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[no] been to europe.
[yes]skipped school.
[no] thrown up from drinking.
[yes] lost your sibling.
[no] played 'clue'.
[no] had a sleepover party.
[no] went ice skating.
[yes] dropped x.
[yes] cheated on a bf/gf.
[yes] been cheated on.
[yes] had a sweet sixteen. but i didnt have a party >.<
[yes] had a car.
[yes] drove.
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Do you...
[yes] have a bf.
[yes] have a gf.--Brandi lol
[yes] have a crush.
[Sometimes] feel loved.
[yes] feel lonely.
[yes] feel happy.
[yes] hate yourself.
[hell no ] think your attractive.
[yes] have a dog.
[yes] have your own room.
[fuck no.. well not much] listen to rap.---very little
[yes] listen to rock.
[fuck no] listen to soul.
[fuck no] listen to techno.
[no] listen to reggae.
[yes] paint your nails.---BLACK
[yes] have more than 1 best friend.
[yeah right] get good grades.
[no] play an instrument.
[wtf] have slippers.
[no] wear boxers.
[:) maybe ] wear thongs.
[yes] wear black eyeliner.
[yes] like the color blue.
[no] like the color yellow.
[yes] cyber.
[no] claim.
[yea ] like to read.
[Yeaira] like to write.
[kinda] have long hair.
[kinda] have short hair.
[Yeaira] have a cell phone.
[no] have a laptop.
[no] have a pager.
*^~*^~*^~*^~*^
Are you...
[yes] ugly.
[no] pretty.
[no] ok.
[yes] bored.
[WHY] happy.
[party girl ~any body else wanna party~] indian
[fuck no] bilingual.
[yes] white.
[no] black.
[no] hispanic.
[no] asian.
[yes :( ] short.
[no :(] tall.
[no] grounded.
[yes] sick.
[no] a virgin.
[yes] lazy.
[no] single.
[yes] taken.
[??huh??] looking.
[??huh??] not looking.
[yes] talking to someone.
[yes] IMing someone.
[aaaaa aaaaa] scared to die.---I wish i could right now
[yes] tired.
[yes] sleepy.
[yes] annoyed.
[yes] hungry.
[yes] thirsty.
[no] on the phone.
[yes] in your room.
[yes] drinking something.---f
[no] eating something.
[no] in your pjs.--im not 2
[aaaaa aaaaa] ticklish.
[yes] listening to music.
[yes] homophobic.
[maybe alittle] racist--sum ppl get to me
[Below Are The Poems I Wrote Except The Valentines Day Poems And green dog thats wasn't from me either well there they are enjoy]
[*Lonely World*]
[She use to be everything now she feels all alone everybody seems to hate her or doesn't want anything to do with her she feels like a nobody cause of the way everybody is treating her all the boys seem to hate her or doesn't want anything to do with her she is scared out of her mind nowhere to go know one to turn to she still likes her x-
boyfriend but he doesn't want to look stupid hanging out with her to her it seems like the whole world is against her and all her friends aren't really her friends like she thinks so she lives in this lonely world all alone]
[*All Alone*]
[Why do I act the way I do I feel like a]loser that everyone hates have you ever got [to the point you can't tell right from] wrong and what's real and what's fake have [you got to the point people make up reasons] to leave have you ever felt invisible and [people walk on you like your not even there, well i have its] really terrible I feel all alone that know one loves [everything in the world seems gray why does life treat] people this way I wish someone [could tell me I still wonder what I am doing here cause I am a no good person that everyone hates]
[*Heart Broken*]
When he broke up with me it really hurt
[Every time I look at him I just want to cry]
I feel the hole world hates me
[I don’t know why I get so jealous over things]
I just know I love him and I wont him back
[I feel that I hurt him to]
I just want everything to be better again
[I can promise to change my ways]
But he want give me a second chance
[Worst of all I loved him more than my sister]
I actually felt safe with him
[Now I’m alone]
All this time we have been apart I pretended [to be happy in front of him]
But deep down I’m dieing with pain
[I don’t care if he hangs with his friends]
I just want him to be happy
[I miss him putting his arms around me]
I just wish I could change it all
[I wish it was like it use to be]
[*True Love*]
[I feel that I could never love anyone the way I do my three angels]
[they are what keeps me going each day
the reason I live the reason I try]
the ones that I would die for any day
[I love them all with all my heart and soul and someday I wanna be with them]
every time I look into there eyes I just [want to cry but instead I smile and say to them stop starring at me they are the only] ones that makes me truly happy when I’m down [they are always there for me I just really wish they knew how much I love them and always will nothing them or anyone else][could do to make me change my mind]
[*The Wrong Way*]
[I never thought I would turn out how I did everything inside me died its telling me I want to die and for some reason I want to] listen to it since I was born I have screwed up everything now the whole world hates me [including myself I’ve pushed all my friends that cared for me and I cared for them away I don’t know why either but now I regret it] I want to be re-born and lose the sins and come clean I want to start over and let God [into my life and guide me to the right path and I don’t want to go down the wrong path again like in the past]
[*A Long Time Ago*]
[When I was little you was always there I can remember when you would stay up with me Until i feel asleep No matter what I did you always forgave me I am so thankful for that] I'm sorry for the times I made you cry You and Amanda was my world When you guys died part of me died with you Now I have know one [to lean on I'm out in this Lonely World all alone I feel like know one cares about me I loved you both so much Now all I Have Is memories I am so scared to love anyone Every time I get close to someone I lose him or ]her The one thing that drives me crazy the most is I didn't get to say goodbye I did try to love again, but what a mistake that was In the end all it turned out to be a [heart full of pain I've always wondered why I'm alive Know one like me there always putting me down Every night before I go to] bed I cry cause its to hard to let go
[*Where I’m From*]
[I am from the city of lights]
From where people didn’t judge other people [I am from a peaceful little county near by]
From where everyone wanted to be your friend
I am from where all my family lived and died
[From the painful place of memories]
I am from the place where I left my heart
[From the place where the two special family
members are buried]
I am from where I had wonderful friends
[From the same place where I was forgotten]
I am from the place I got hurt the most
[From where I cried every night]
I am from the place I gave up
[From where all my feelings died]
I am from where the darkness began
[From where I’m gone forever]
[*I’m Sorry*]
[I’m sorry for letting you down
Deep down I never meant for this to happen
I’m running out of ways to prove I love you
Every time I see you I want to run from you
I can’t stand the pain I brought on]
Jealously is what brings my life down
The reason we’re not together
[How could I cause so much to happen
I love you so much]
I wish you only knew
You’re really the only one for me
The one that has my heart
[If you’re gone for good
So isn’t my heart
You are the one person I love
The one person that keeps me breathing]
[~Goodbye~]
[When you dumped me it hurt
I even cried
I always thought we would last forever
But I was wrong
I’m kind of happy your gone]
I don’t know why I loved you so much
All you ever did was cause me pain
So I got to move on
[How could I think about you
While I’m with him
I don’t need you anymore
I don’t know you anymore]
Deep down I thought you could do better
But to tell you the truth I was the one that could do better
[Everyone told me not to trust you
But I did, what another mistake that was
All this time I had a right to be jealous
You and her spent more time together than a married couple]
But why you cousins
Monroe is so messed up
[That’s all I Have to say
I just got to let you go
I need to move on
I can do better]
[Dark And Lonely]
Lost out in the darkness Not a single soul [wonders through here tonight Not even an animal matter of fact Why is it so quiet here tonight Every light around is off
Why is it so dark I ask Then I started to] wonder if I was the only one here A voice in my head said out of no where you all alone
[The voice in my head repeats over and over
Then starts to laugh look what you’ve done
You killed them all the evil voice said to me
Why are you doing this to me I ask The voice] says because you know I’m right Then tears start rolling down my face How could I let [this happen Because you evil the voice calls out]
[*Alone And Lost*]
[I try so hard not to cry But more and more the expression grows Everyone around me starts to die]
So soon enough I’ll be alone Why is this happening deep down I wonder Why am I so alone trapped in this body
[Will my time ever come or will I be around Until there isn’t even a single soul Let me out my soul often cries]
But still I’m trapped in this body Is it because I was meant to be alone So soon enough I will be all-alone
[Lost somewhere out in the darkness Why can’t anyone hear my cries Let me out of the body my soul often cries]
[The Last Moment]
[Tears running down her face she knew it was her last moment] she had held all the pain in for years but she couldn't take it any longer
[she held the gun to her head i'll love him till the end] she said and now its the end [now i can be with you] she sat beside the wooden cross a moment longer [why does it have to be this way] i wanted us to grow old and die happy [when you died you was mad when i die i'll be sad [should i seek revenge before i come to be with you] no know revenge [i wanna be with you now one last breath then she pulls the triger]
[Behind Blue Eyes]
[i look in her eyes and all i see is sadness and pain why is she so sad i often ask myself why is she never happy has she seen a happy moment behind her blue eyes i since ]fear what is she feared of what keeps her sp [depressed why is she so sad she stairs into the mirror at her blue eyes deep down she feels she'll never find love when she does find love some afful death accures why does] this happen she often wonders is she lost in the darknss behind her blue eyes or is it [just one big empty hole thats never seen light nor has ever seen love she often] wonders why she is here what is my purpose [here she often ask right now she has not a first clue someday hopefully she'll finally know]
[darkness]
[deep down darkness is all i see i'll never find love i'm worthless to everyone just leave me here alone in the dark this empty soul of mine has lost love in all people what is love this empty heart od mine has never seen its all about break up's and ]sadness there is no such thing as love people hearts are actually clueless love is [a load of shit there is no such thing as love people hearts lies more than they tell the truth there so out in the darkness]
[Stormy Night]
[the wind began to slowly blow at first but then grows the rain began to poor faster and harder thunder and lightening in the sky flickering light then nun things began to] fly through the air people bagan to die poles began to fall everything was beginning [to get destoryed the eletric went out phones where dead people where trapped with out a place to go no way to get help why? why was this happening Why Why Why!!!!]
[~Why~]
[why am i here why do i breath what is the reason i'm alive whay am i alive am i alive to be put down or is it for peoples laughts sometimes i wonder if i really am alive my ]heart always gets broken no doubt about that [i dont even no the meaning of love i've never seen it in my life when people say i love you it comes from there mind but really] it suppose to come from the heart i feel as [if the next time my heart it broken i will blow my brains out without a tear only because i'm heartless and cold blooded to myself]
[~How Could I Been So Blind~]
[How Could I Be So Blind
To Not See This Love
Before My Eyes For All
This Time I've Been So Blind
I Never Knew Love Could Be
So Hidden Behind My Eyes How Could I Be So Blind Not To See The Hidden Love
In Your Eyes
Was It Both Of Us
Or Just Me That Couldn't See
How Could I Be So Blind
Not To Know You Was The One
After Its To Late
I See Cleary
How Could I Been So Blind
Not To See I Love You]
[*I Wish I Only Knew*
I wish i could know
why things are this way
everyone i love always dies
i wish i only knew
I hope you know
when i say i love you
i mean it]
no matter what
if i die tomorrow
just know i love you
[you never know when its
gonna be your time
so if you love
someone let them know
when i found out i loved
someone it was to late
dont make the same mistake
let them know
if you love someone
more than life itself
let them know
and pass it on ]
[*Unhappy Valentine's Day*]
[Roses are red and Violets are blue, I didn't buy you anything cause to be honest, I really don't like you.] Roses are red Violets are not Remember Valentine's Day Or you will be shot [God made the Irish
God made the Dutch, But whoever made you
didn't make much!]
[*Valentines Day Poem*]
[Hearts And Roses And Kisses Galore
What The Hell Is All That Shit For
People Get Mushy And Start Acting Queer
It’s Definitely The] Most Annoying Day Of The Year This Day Needs To Get The Hell Over With And Pass Before I Shove A Dozen Roses Up Cupids Ass I’ll Spend The Day So Drunk I Can’t Speak And Wear Black For The Rest Of The Week Guys Act All Sweet But Soon It will Fade For All [They Are Doing Is Trying To Get Laid The Arrow That Cupid Shot At Me Must Have Not Hit Because I Think Love Is A Load Of Shit So They’re My Story… What Can I Say Love Bites Ass Screw Valentines Day]
