[/IIx.XMoN stErX.xII\]'s diary

408430  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-11-10
Written: (7109 days ago)

"But it would seem I'm not quite the monster you're thinking of. But... it's what he desired. If a human so desires, I can give him immortality... time-everlasting... But the thing that we, as well as you, are chasing after is different. It's only a bloodthirsty imitation vampire."
Miyu, to Himiko. volume 1, episode 1 (OAV)


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My House is a Safe Zone.

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Sociability ||||||||| 30%
Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Activity Level |||||||||||| 38%
Excitement-Seeking ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Enthusiasm |||||||||||| 34%
Extroversion ||||||||||||||| 50%
Trust ||||||||| 30%
Morality |||||||||||| 34%
Altruism ||||||||| 30%
Cooperation |||||||||||| 34%
Modesty ||||||||||||||| 42%
Sympathy |||||| 14%
Friendliness ||||||||| 30%
Confidence |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Neatness |||||||||||| 34%
Dutifulness |||||||||||| 34%
Achievement |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Self-Discipline |||||||||||| 34%
Cautiousness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 43%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Volatility |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Depression |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Self-Consciousness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Impulsiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Vulnerability ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Emotional Stability |||||| 20%
Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Artistic Interests ||||||||||||||| 42%
Introspection |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Liberalism |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 61%


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1. A pivotal event often leads to the development of vampirism (blood drinking). This usually occurs in childhood, and the experience of bleeding or the taste of blood is found to be ‘exciting'. After puberty, this excitement associated with blood is experiences as sexual arousal.

2. The progression of Renfield's syndrome follows a typical course in many cases:

Autovampirism is generally developed first, usually in childhood, by initially self-inducing scrapes or cuts in the skin to produce blood, which is then ingested, to later learning how to open major blood vessels (veins, arteries) in order to drink a steady stream of warm blood more directly. The blood may then be ingested at the time of the opening, or may be saved in jars or other containers for later imbibing or for other reasons. Masturbation often accompanies autovampiristic practices.

Zoophagia (literally the eating of living creatures, but more specifically the drinking of their blood) may develop prior to autovampirism in some cases, but usually is next to develop. Persons with Renfield's syndrome may themselves catch and eat or drink the blood of living creatures such as insects, cats, dogs, or birds. The blood of other species may be obtained at places such as slaughterhouses and then ingested. Sexual activity may or may not accompany these functions.

Vampirism in its true form is the next stage to develop - procuring and drinking the blood of living human beings. This may be done by stealing blood from hospitals, laboratories, and so forth, or by attempting to drink the blood directly from others. Usually this involves some sort of consensual sexual activity, but in lust-murder type cases and in other nonlethal violent crimes, the sexual activity and vampirism may not be consensual.

3. The compulsion to drink blood almost always has a strong sexual component associated with it.

4. Blood will sometimes take on an almost mystical significance as a sexualized symbol of life or power, and, as such, an experience of well being or empowerment will be reported by those with Renfield's syndrome following such activities.

5. Persons with Renfield's syndrome are primarily male.

6. The defining characteristic of Renfield's syndrome is the blood-drinking compulsion. Other related activities such as necrophilia and necrophagia that do not have as their goal the drinking of blood are not to be considered aspects of this disorder''.

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USER FRIENDLY - MARILYN MANSON
Use me when you want to come
I've bled just to have your touch
When I'm in you I want to die

User friendly fucking dopestar obscene
Will you die when you're high
You'd never die just for me
She says,
"I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you
'til somebody better comes along."

Use me like I was a whore
Relationships are such a bore
Deleted the ones that you've fucked

User friendly fucking dopestar obscene
Will you die when you're high
You'd never die just for me
She says,
"I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you
'til somebody better comes along."

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THIS SUMMER
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High




LAST SUMMER
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 66%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissistic |||| 14%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 66%
Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62%
Obsessive-Compulsive || 10%

394528  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-10-29
Written: (7121 days ago)

Sociability ||||||||| 30%
Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Activity Level |||||||||||| 38%
Excitement-Seeking ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Enthusiasm |||||||||||| 34%
Extroversion ||||||||||||||| 50%
Trust ||||||||| 30%
Morality |||||||||||| 34%
Altruism ||||||||| 30%
Cooperation |||||||||||| 34%
Modesty ||||||||||||||| 42%
Sympathy |||||| 14%
Friendliness ||||||||| 30%
Confidence |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Neatness |||||||||||| 34%
Dutifulness |||||||||||| 34%
Achievement |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Self-Discipline |||||||||||| 34%
Cautiousness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 43%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Volatility |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Depression |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Self-Consciousness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Impulsiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Vulnerability ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Emotional Stability |||||| 20%
Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Artistic Interests ||||||||||||||| 42%
Introspection |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Liberalism |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 61%

96062  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2003-11-06
Written: (7478 days ago)

k well..i missed a DT and so i had an inschool suspencion on wednesday..i forgot to go so he gave me thursday,friday AND monday...mondays a fuckin inservise..THE MOTHER FUCKER

67922  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-09-10
Written: (7536 days ago)

first of all my personality disorder test results
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High 
Schizotypal: High 
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High 
Avoidant: Very High 
Dependent: Verry High
Obsessive-Compulsive:Verry High

58265  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-08-18
Written: (7559 days ago)

Killing you now tool and disturbed

58249  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-08-18
Written: (7559 days ago)

Suicide is a hard thing because its like you dont want to hurt the people u leave behind so if i ever consider it about a month before im gonna be the biggest bitch ever and make everyone hate me so then they wont care...i guess

55439  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-08-11
Written: (7566 days ago)

Alrighty then the members of Slipknot are now in Stone Sour......KNOW THAT..thx Tyler S...UPDATE, Tyler is such a skeeze, UNTRUE..ish oh man so confusing

55082  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-08-10
Written: (7567 days ago)

Terry Goodkind-Sword of truth and Robert Jordan-Wheel of time R.A.Salvitore- Icewind Dale trillogy,Dark Elf trillogy, Legacy of the Drow,Paths of Darkness, Hunters Blade Series, the Cleric Quintet, Barbara Hambly- Dragons Bane

54811  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2003-08-09
Written: (7568 days ago)

remeber enter the shadow..have to join schob said so lol

54550  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2003-08-08
Written: (7569 days ago)

k i remebered something i thought of that day when i went to thake and was up k here it is....the ppl who are insomniacs and hear voises and like scitzos and all those pl who hear and see things..mental illnesses ..well they're not really crazy there the normal ones but we are convinced otherwise we have lost the ABILITLY to see and hear the voices and the images ...its too bad because they are fun to talk to

54549  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2003-08-08
Written: (7569 days ago)

k remember chatalot and funimation

53901  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-08-06
Written: (7571 days ago)

ahhh new new new i dyed my hair yay well i guess i half dyed it..the top is really red and the rest is a burgundy red meh thats cause i dyed it black a while go and so ta i know stupid meh well well thast all

53409  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-08-05
Written: (7572 days ago)

i am afraid of death but not just for myself but for other people it is scary imaging people dead and gona ...non exsistant ... k well i gotta write that in my brain wtyl

53408  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-08-05
Written: (7572 days ago)

SHIT i deleted my thought k here it is...well i was hinkin maybe like life is the gods, all of them ever, game. were the pawns the pieces,if someone obeys the rules or joines that religion(s) they get a point and when the ppl sin u get minus points...i think jesus might have cheeted or something maybe it was a punishment for cheeting or maybe he was loosing to bad meh ya never know

53064  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-08-04
Written: (7573 days ago)

hey ya well i was drawing and i was all like okay im gonna draw a reeeely sick skrawne person and i ended up drawing jesus ona cross and thats wierd cause im not even of that religion im wiccan so wow that was sooo wierd and im soo tired so bye bye now*yawn*

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