Two scary things happened to me yesterday. My dad, brother, cousin and I were driving back from my Grandpa's cottage. Okay well anyways I think it was after Orilla or before Orilla there was this vehicle that slammed on the breaks and there was the vehicle behind it with a bunch of guys who were signaling to the girls who were behind them of course in the fast lane. Well anyways I told you the first guy slammed on his breaks, not even a second later the vehicle with the guys smashed into the first car and not even a second later the girls smashed into the guys. My dad was right behind them in the NEXT lane over and we saw it happen in a second all this happend! My heart was beating a million second per hour. THe second scary thing was my sister fell down the stairs and I caught her after she fell down one step and had two more to go but I caught her omgsh that was so scary, she could have REALLY hurt herself.

~Shattered~

I walk in the room
A glass in my hand
I smash it as hard as I can
With my boots, I stomp on shattered glass
I grab a knife
Jab at the broken glass
The glass is my soul
Broken
Too many times to count
Trampled all over
A million times
A knife ripping myself apart
Scars that will never leave me
Can it be repaired?
A Broken Soul
Is all I’ll ever have

~My Pain~

As I lay staring at my ceiling
Tears slowly stream down my face
I am silently screaming
My soul is torn to pieces
I fall deeper into sorrow everyday
Wishing the world around me would freeze
My life is out of control and there I is nothing can do
I grab a hold but it is spinning to fast out of my reach
Nobody realizes how I feel
They don’t know they are hurting me
As I hold the cold pulsating metal in my hand
I tell myself I wish I could die
But I can’t

~Escape~

Escape from life
Escape in the music
Escape in my sleep
Escape in my room
Try and drown it all away
Get away from it all
The tears
The thoughts
The torture
Make it go away

~Behind it All~

Behind the smile
Behind the laughter
Many secrets of it all
Tears stream down my heart
As I listen to the silent screaming
Behind closed doors
One hundred tears stream down my face
Five scars in counting
Behind the sleeves of my sweater
Behind it all, the secrets
All you don’t want to know

~Me~

Sadness over takes her
Anger over takes her
Trying to be happy
Has given up all hope
Thoughts of hurt
Make it go away
Make it stop
Where are the angels
That watch over her
Why won’t they make it better
Stop her from fading away
Stop her thoughts of hurt
All she needs is help
Someone to understand

~Four Words to Make You Understand~

Stress
Depression
Anger
Frustration
Four words that run within my blood
Sometimes I feel escape
But it doesn’t last
Hurting will never go away
It feels like death is the only way
No one can understand
My life brings insanity
I just want it to stop
To all go away

~Thoughts~

My thoughts tear at me
Wanting me to fall apart
Late nights
Thinking, thinking if the knife
Would be the way
To kill the many thoughts
Racing through my head
I promised myself
I promised my friend
That I would stop
Sometimes it’s hard
My thoughts of hurt
Bring tears to my eyes and my heart
I tell everyone that I’ve stopped
It’s hard not to think about it
Because the thoughts
Seem to never go away
I just let them rip me to pieces
One by one

Hi, I have a lot of homework and well it's a PD Day so I am here alone with my brother *tear* He likes to fight so it's going to be a fun day. Well for one thing I am very stressed out, not only with school but mostly my home life. I almost broke down again to the teacher but I seriously didn't thank god it did not pass the line! 

okay well for my diary I must say I'm going to go crazy at home I have had my mom bitch at me twice today about not doing any chores, when she doesn't get of her effing lazy ass to do anything either. So I am very pissed off!