Bored.. Hey I say that alot don't I. Oh well I guess it means that I spend alot of time at school. Alas I suppose I must move on. By the way. I love the movie Queen Of the Dammed Lestat is so hot! Oh and Akasha aint to bad either. Well I'm gonna go cause I'm bored and this computer sorta sux. Bye now. Lol. My puppy is so cute!

Ugg. I hate the fact that racial comments and shit exists in the world but there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. complete and utter bull shit is what this is. My school is denying me free time so that I can sit around and mumble and groan about how boring our assembly was so it can end in a mass histeria of bull shit that is completely meaningless. I hope to god that this is not what the world is about that other people do not blabber about bull shit at the constant depression of our society. I am in need of some serious councilling to get this bull shit out of my brain. What a load of shit. How annoying can you get. Oh well talk to yall tommorrow or something.

Long and lasting days. I am bored out of my mind. People are pissing me off and I have to go to spanish class next period. My god that sucks ass. Oh and for any preppy peoples. Me included... note to self sorta thing:

I hate spanish class

Those eyes...lucious...loving...embracing, but they are not yours anymore he takes then and expects me to love them equally. I adore you my love. I want to hold you. I want to know you...not him. He as hard as me may try...will never be you, never will I let his sweet touch, the sultry looks, the amazing grip take me. I cannot and will not waver to him...you are a god to me...you are my life, my dream...He destroys all of it...he takes away your looks your gorgeous smile and makes me see a monster the true monster he is. I don't know why he does this so cruelly to you. But I promise you. It will be stopped. He is running us or atleast he thinks he is. Let him think what he wants. But know that my darling, my life revolves around you and no one else.

The endless field of flowers. A sunset made for two. The romance of the evening. Daylight comes, making a light of beauty and radiance. The day sees my pain. So again I sit and wait in those gorgeous flowing flowers. Letting my body sway with the eternal wind. The sun will never set for me. I will feel no release. My life will linger. Still tormented. Still in pain and full of anguish. Why do those eyes tempt me so? They hold me in, away from freedom. What have I done? Alas, I know. I have fallen... deep into a trap an endless void of desperation, love has latched onto me. It is seeking to pry the life from my body. Somehow I must hold on. I must not let go. For some reasons my head says no but my heart bleeds for him. I must vow to do this right. It is the only way to live now. The only way to survive in the void, to love him, to embrace him, to stay with him and hold out love dear..... Dedicated to my love [nightgoth]

 A new icon I got for my computer thingy it basically describes how i feel right now.
As do these...

I am writing this for my boyfriend [nightgoth] I really don't care who reads it though. I am writing this so that he knows that I love him with all my heart and soul it's just that I pissed off my mother so now we must stay apart talk less and feel seperated more than ever. It seems that she has no trust in me anymore. I know why she doesn't and i know that I am the one who fucked this all up. I am weeping inside and out always now. i made a mistake that is so horrid so stupid so dum. How could I be so blind as to let myself slip to such a low as this. I put myself down because it is true. I am deeply in debt to my mother for even forgiving me. I betrayed her. I betrayed everyone. I am so sorry my love. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for my mess up to go to this magnitude. I never meant it like this.

My mothers boyfriend and her are fighting now. Great lets just have it go back to the same fucking way it was before....back to the place when I hated life and all that shit. Yay lets start the fucking depression yet again! 

God dam my mother I love her but comon! Why do this to me

() I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
() I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
() I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
() I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
() I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
() I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
() I NEVER HAD SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
() I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
() I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
() I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
() I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
() I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(X) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(X) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
() I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
() I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
() I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(X)I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
() I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(X) I NEVER PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY
() I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX
() I NEVER RECIVED ORAL SEX
() I NEVER MASTURBATED
() I NEVER HAVE RECIEVED BJ/LICKED OUT

Well I don’t know who actually will read this whole thing but hey what the hell ya know. I am just gonna say it. I love my boyfriend very much. I have loved him since the day I met him and I always will love him. There are many people who keep going after him. Trying to manipulate and change him. They are trying to separate him not just from me…they are trying to take him for themselves. I don’t know there reasons but I do know that it makes no sense for them to take him away from what he is doing. Unless he tells me otherwise, I am pretty sure that he is happy with me. I adore him with all my heart and I am sure that he adores me. We have been together so long that he just makes me so happy. My world revolves around my emotions. When I am around him..i am happy my life is good. When I am upset about what others are trying to do to take him away I start to get depressed and my life crumbles from underneath me. So I have decided that I will not let it crumble any more. So I am writing this for those people who are trying to take him away. I write it so that you know that I don’t truthfully care anymore. If he doesn’t leave me after the first 3 tries of yours give up. If he truly wants to leave me for you people I am sure that he would have left by now. But the thing is that he hasn’t he stays with me. Happy thriving and lasting. We are happy with eachother and that is all that matters to me. If it ends it will be because we have decided that we are not meant for eachother. So go ahead and try but I hope you people realize that he will do what he thinks is right. And I know him very well…when his mind is set…he does what he wants to. If he wanted to leave me for one of you…he would have. Just warning ya. I love you my babe [nightgoth] I promise to no longer get upset about this kinda bullshit and I will happily move on with life and deal with these things in a kind and content sort of manner. Bye now.

LAYER ONE
--Name: Elizabeth
--Nickname: Lizzie, Tizzie,(anything that rymes with those) and of course Rae Rae.
--Country of Living: USA
--Birthdate: November 25th
--Eye Color: Brown
--School/work: Hotchkiss
--You smoke: Sometimes
--Hobbies: Writing, reading, poetry, acting, laughing, and hanging around being lazy.
--Brothers/Sisters: one step sister well soon to be anyway.
--Relationship: Involved for a year and 6 months now.
--Piercing(s): my ears which keep closing up dam it.
--Tattoo: I have quite a few in mind.



LAYER TWO
--Your heritage: Italiano and a red coat brit'
--The shoes you wore today: slippers! Ha ha no school!
--Your weakness: My parents, i feel like a robot. Must obey must obey!
--Your fears: My mother, Italian temper and yet cooking of a god....
--Perfect pizza: Chicken and ranch...
--Goal you'd like to achieve: I don't know!



LAYER THREE
--Your most overused phrase: Oh my god!
--Your first thoughts waking up: Why am i doing this again?
--Your best physical feature: Good question????
--Your bedtime: Always after 11:30 at night...
--Most missed memory: My friend.. she committed suicide...she will be missed...



LAYER FOUR
--Soda: Dr. Pepper
--Fast food joint: Burger King
--Single or group dates: Single
--Adidas or Nike: Adidas
--Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
--Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee



LAYER FIVE
--Smoke: Unfortunetly yeah.
--Swear: You f*cking bet!
--Sing: Yes.
--Take a shower everyday: Why not.
--Have a crush: Maybe maybe not...
--Do you think you've been in love: I know...
--Want to go to college: Yes.
--Want to get married: Yes.
--Get motion sickness: Occasionally.
--Think you're attractive: I don't know....
--Think you're a health freak: Absolutely not.
--Get along with your parents: Most of the time.
--Like thunderstorms: Depends who i'm with when they happen.
--Play an instrument: Nope and never will.



LAYER SIX
In the past month...
--Drank alcohol: yes.
--Smoked: yes.
--Had sex: yes, and loved it....
--Made out: yes.
--Gone on a date: no.
--Gone to the mall: yes.
--Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no oreos yuck!
--Eaten sushi: Sushi icckky!!!!!!!!!!
--Been on stage: in my school once or twice....
--Gone skating: no but i will in like 3 days or so...
--Made homemade cookies: yes with my small cousin.
--Gone skinny dipping: hmmm....not that i remember.
--Dyed your hair: Nope.
--Stolen anything: Yes.



LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
--Played a game that required removal of clothing: yup, strip poker which i sucked at.
--Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yuppers, school nights are fun untill you have to get up and do school work the next morning..ugg.
--Been caught doing something: Like what kind of something????
--Been called a tease: Yes.
--Gotten beaten up: Many times though I did put up a fight.
--Shoplifted: Once or twice. I am not gonna pay like 12 bucks for something that i can fit in my pocket...sssshhhhhhh you didn't hear anything *moves hands all mysteriously*
--Changed who you were to fit in: Been there tried that.. it sucked and didn't work.


LAYER EIGHT
--Age you hope to be married: ??????
--Numbers of children: ???????
--Describe your dream wedding: ??????
--How do you want to die: NOt quickly not painlessly.
--Where do you want to go to college: ???????
--What do you want to be when you grow up: ?????? I want to get lots of money in whatever I end up doing though.
--What country would you most like to visit: Italy since my mom was born there.
--Who is your most loved person: [nightgoth]


LAYER NINE
In a guy...
--Best eye color: Brown
--Best hair color: Brown
--Short or long hair: Short or long I don't care really.
--Height: Not shorter than me..but not like 3 times the size of me either...
--Best first date location: ?????
--Best first kiss location: cemetary on halloween night.



LAYER TEN
--Number of drugs taken illegally: ???? I don't really remember....
--Number of people I could trust with my life: Thus far, 3 one is dead so now 2.
--Number of CD's that I own: A lot!
--Number of piercings: 2 one in each ear.
--Number of tattoos: Want to get atleast 2.
--Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 4 times, girly scoutos, singing at some school thing, acting thing, and umm well i wouldn't like to mention the last one.
--Number of scars on my body: Too many.

I am in love with the hottest guy i know!!!! Lol. Duh that is the stupidest comment i have ever heard. One of my pals said that to me yesterday i told her she was a dits...does anyone else understand my logic?

sick mind test what do u think of when you read this?




















take me now please. i really want to have it now.


















keep going.
















Translation:

I want to go to an icecream parlor. I want to have icecream now.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddddddddooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmssssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I love my pples. I hate school. Wiccans rock. Leaches suck. and thats all i have to say.

Homework bites bites bites bites. I hate it so much.

Boogedy!!!! Boogedy!!! Blah Blah Bleeepety Blepsta!!! La la fugly fun!

I am so bored out of my mind! I love...well most people can guess who. Homework sux. and the normal shit. 
You know what i realized. People dont look for guidence they are just looking to be slaughtered like the cattle they make themselves out to be or atleast at this school anyways. Alas i must live in torment with them. Trapped and injured. Alone and cold. But then i am released. Freed of this trap of death and followers I am finally happy. No one left to drive me insane any more....Hooray.

Wow school sux big time. Boring as hell.............. thats all i can say is boring major ness!!!!!!!!!!

wow i just realized i cant spell for my life.

I am happy today. I guess that misjudging people before you know what they are after isn't the best thing to do. I am sorry to anyone who ive judged early. I am a bitch sometimes and i can be very protective. Any way.. I have to definently get over some obsticles.