despite the fact that i miss my boyfriend right now, there isn't much new. but i've been happy just thinking about the fact that i'm gonna go and see him next saturday!! gosh i'm so excited about it. i love him so much and seeing him is just gonna be great! we could do nothing, go no where, and not say a single word to each other and it would still be one of the best days in my life, after the concert tho. but i know that's not gonna happen. i know that i'm gonna say something, cause that's just me.

well, i know i should be happy and stuff but,...it's not only the fact that i can't see cody, or talk to him as often as i like, but...usually i don't get defensive...but i just don't really want cody flirting with girls, well not all girls, i don't mind if he flirts with his friends, or like people he's actually seen...but i just don't like the idea of him flirting with people he meets online...i dunno...it's not that i want to change him, and i trust him, it's just...i don't know...i guess, after reading what that girl wrote...it doesn't feel like Cody's mine anymore...more like he can't be tied down...grrr...too much on one mind...i think i'll go take a nap and try to forget it all...but i still love Cody...even if he flirts with that girl...

well i'm really happy that Cody and I were online at the same time and we got to talk!!! i really love him with my whole heart. i get to call him on monday and everything. i really can't wait till i get to see him. sometimes i think back to the concert where we met, and i just think of our first kiss and it just makes my heart do this little jump thing. it keeps me sane, for now. i really hope that i get to live the rest of my life with him. gosh i miss him...

i understand it now. i know why i feel so sad all the time...it might not mean much to most people but it does to me. it's because i love Cody and because i've told him so many of my secrets. i realized that he can really hurt me. once i told my ex-boyfriend just things only my family knew about and when he broke up with me i wouldn't eat and i was always sad. i've told Cody so much more, things that i've never shared. he's closer to me than my family, and they have to love me, but Cody, he doesn't and that really scares me...i mean he says that he loves me, and i believe him...it makes me so happy that he loves me, casue i love him so much. i have finally figured out how to stop being sad. see, i've let Cody in my heart, and i trust him with a lot of things, but i haven't trusted him with my heart. i just haven't let him take care of me, and that's what i'm gonna do. i'm gonna trust that he wont hurt me, that he knows what's best for the both of us. love can get through anything...and i love him so much

i miss cody...i feel like crying, but i've got no more tears left. i just wish that i could be with him. even tho i'm with my family, something is missing. he completes me and without him, i feel...empty. i've been dreaming about him every night and i just hate waking up...i don't know what to do, i haven't seen him for over two months. the crazy thing is, ever since we started going out, i've been faithful...i've never been faithful for this long...and i'm not even thinking about other guys...just cody...and i just know that i love him...but i don't like being seperated from him...i feel so alone...

yesterday, was quite weird. to start off my day i was thinking of my love, Cody, but late last night i ran into a friend of mine. he was really upset and i didn't know what to do. we started walkin around and he just all of a sudden opened up to me and told me everythin that was going on, and how he was gonna go and kill some people. i was scared but eventually i took him home and we talked for hours, well more like he talked and i listened. but evenually i talked him out of it, and he even went over and made peace with them...i was amazed...oh and then afterwards, he gave me a puppy beany baby, i was happy...but, you never know what kinda difference your gonna make by just going outside and walkin around...i love helping people, and i just don't know why, it just makes me feel really good and stuff...

i'm in love, i'm in love, i'm in love!!! yep! i think he's the one. i really hope he is, i love him so much and he fills me with the feeling that i'm loved, cared about, and a whole lot of other things that i can't even begin to explain...and even tho we're not going out, i don't want to see anyone but him. i hope that i can go see him soon...cause he lives all the way in Moody, which is like 3 hours away...he even says he loves me!! yep, so now i'm in the bestest mood ever just cause i'm thinkin about him...*daydreams*....

well today i was talking to this awsome guy. he is too good to be true...he's dreamy, sweet, funny, nice, caring, fun to be with, he calls me, he even said he likes me, you would thing with all of these qualities that he would be ugly or something, but he's not! he's gorgeous!!! well anyways, he called me, and i wasn't home. so i called him back and he didn't answer, but he called me back after 10pm. we talked until his phone died, then he called me from his home phone a few minutes later at like 2am. then we talked until i got introuble for being on the phone. we ended up talking for like 6 hours. i think that i'm falling in love with him, which is scary for me. I don't want to get hurt again...but i feel so weird, i've never felt this strongly about a person before...i really do think that i love him...