November 27

Not a lot has happened recently. I didn't do so well on that test that I previously talked about, but I don't want to dwell on it. I did well on my record pt test. I still just need to get a better time on the run. My scores were: push ups: 44, sit ups: 92, and a 2-mile run time of 17:54. I don't know why my run is so slow, but I will get it back down to the 16's before the end of the year, I am determined. Two more weeks of school then finals. All I have to worry about is passing this semester and next. Then everything is set and no use in worrying because I can't change anything. It will all be set in stone. But good luck to me and I hope I get what I really want.

October 29

I know it has been a few months. But I am doing alright. School is hectic, and rotc is taking a lot out of me. I got to run pt this last week, it was fun and I freeze when I am in front of a lot of people, but I don't think people noticed my mistakes as much as I did. And I couldn't get my stopwatch part of my watch to work, so I was really embarrassed, but people didn't notice, thank god. But all the leading is over for the semester. I lead class, pt, and an flrc lane. I get to register for classes in a few days, and I am trying to make it an easier semester to get my gpa up, so I am not taking any real math classes. Only statistics and automata theory, which is a cs class but it double counts for my math major. Math is hard and linear algebra is going to kill me. We just had a test on friday and out of the ten, I only had time to finish 8 of them, but at least I started the other two, even though I didn't know how to finish one of them. Oh well it will be alright.

July 26

Wow, I haven't written in a while. Well, the 14-16, I went to Colin's to have the swords meeting. It was a lot of fun and nine people were there, so it was more than we had at most practices during the school year. But it was really exciting. I got to use throwing knives! Although I did end up cutting my foot trying to demonstrate slowly a certain technique. I guess going slowly made it slip off the back of my hand. We also got to cut bananas from the tree, and sword fight on a log!

The past few days have been busy. On Monday Jeff and I drove to Kansas City. He had go to Kentucky for air assult, so we had to drive to the airport. It was a sad time and I already miss him. Then yesterday I drove back to Kansas City, because Olga needed to go to Georgia for airborne. But her flight was this morning so we just stayed the night. It was a fun time. I got back early this morning at like 9ish, and have been catching up on everything.

July 9

Yeah, yeah, I know. It has been a month. I have been in Fort Knox Kentucky at military camp(LTC). It has been a lot of fun. I couldn't even beging writing all that happened.

But I will try.
It was a lot of fun, but the beginning was hard. The first night I got into fort knox around 9pm and we had to go through a whole begining intro thing and get our uniform issued to us. Then we changed, went through some stations to see if we were medically and physically qualified. Fun fun(boring), then we got separated into our little squads. I was in 4th platoon 4th squad. We got yelled at a lot to hurry and get into our places. I ended up in the female bay with 40 other females(that is what we had to say, not girls or ladys, it had to be females). I had first fire watch so I got to go to sleep at 3am then got up again at 5. The first three days was horrible. Not used to the standing for about 14hours minus the times we ate. We got all of our equipment and dropped a lot because people were late. After three days we had more of army tactical stuff where we did rapelling, wall climbing, obstacle courses, M16 rifeling(boring: just shoot for three days for like 4 hours, it gets old quick), stream crossing, and land navigation. We had a rifle qualification and I got 42 out of 54 which is pretty good, and the land nav test I got 5 out of 5 points in 2 and a half hours which is really good, and my team won the orienteering contest which was we had a horribly rough terrain to find points out in the woods. We had 6 hours and 15 points. We got 13 of them. So we won iPods. It was fun. Then we did a 6 day FTX where we slept in the field in tents that we had to make out of our poncho's. That was the most fun out of everything. Since the drill sargents weren't there, we had a major and our leutenient and they were nice. It was like spending a lot of quality time with the squad. We got to know each other really well. I did sleep horribly though. I even slept walked one night. The first two days were rope courses were we did wall climbing and a rope course and some othere climbing obstacles, I think those were my favorite days. Then the next two were stx where we went into the woods with paintball guns and had to be ready to come up against the enemy at any moment. And the last two days were survival, where we learned to make traps, make fire, make tents, make water and learned some non poisionus plants that are edible. Then we did a water course. My squad set the zodiac race a new course record. Then the rest of camp was cleaning our M16's. I think I spend about 12 hours on that being conservative. It was basically we got back on a Monday, we stayed up til 2 cleaning, then on tuesday we had off(4th of July) then wednesday, and thursday was cleaning, friday was family day and saturday we graduated. There was a lot more, but I think this is enough for now.

Jun 1

Yesterday I went running with Jeff and Olga. It was kinda fun. You know as much as running can be fun. The I went to columbia. That was a lot of fun. I ended put getting a dress and a skirt and shirt.

On tuesday I got to go out. Not like I can't whenever I want, but there isn't a lot of things to do aroung here. So finding people to do stuff with is exciting. But anyway, we all went to Ryan's and watched The Bourne Supremacy. I know I am being annoying right now, but I read the book, and I don't even know why the called it The Bourne Supremacy. They should have given it a different title just to show how different it was going to be. But I knew this before I watched it, since I refused to watch it for almost two years, just because it was so different. But it really wasn't that bad. I actually liked it. But of course I am really into movies about secret government stuff.

I talked to Amanda last night. She is just as scared as I am about going to LTC. Yeah, I am scared. I am excited too, but I am starting to get nervous and questioning things. Like what if this, and what if that. I shouldn't be concerned, but I can't help it. But I guess I am gonna start packing today, and go get everything I need. I am leaving next sunday.

I am really depressed right now. I know it is early in the morning, but I am already having a bad day. :( I am not even going to say why.

May 29

Did nothing again today. Watched Dark Angel and Fantastic Four, and Sin City. So a lot of Jessica Alba. It is so hot here! At least it is supposed to cool down tonight and for the next week. That is exciting at least. Almost went to columbia today, but things happened and I didn't. Oh, well, maybe tomarrow will be more exciting. I miss my friends from school. There isn't many people here over the summer, and the ones that are, I don't talk to much, which is sad. I guess it is just that they are guys and I don't have many guys' numbers. I only have two more weeks anyway, it will be alright.

May 26

X-Men 3 comes out today!!! I am excited, although I heard some of the main characters died. Three to be exact, but oh well, at least I know beforehand. I road marched yesterday; went only about four miles. Not really a big deal. My sister and I are going to try to go swimming; which means I will get crispy and red. But we might go to the mall tomarrow while jeff does his fighting thing. Other than that not much has been happening.

I took some online quizzes(my new favorite thing to do) and I got some strange results and some contradicting ones. Like I took a harry potter one to see what house I would be put in and well I took two different tests because they are so popular and one said I would be in ravenclaw and the other grifindor. Some of the tests seemed accurate but others were very inaccurate. Like one was
What kind of girl are you? ANS: 69% Athletic Tomboy(NOT TRUE!) but my second place was 63% nerdy girl(definatly true).
others:
What are you gonna be when your older? ANS: 60% Ice Cream Man, 60% President. I hope neither of those are true.
What genre of music should you listen to? ANS: 50% Metal, 38% Rock...I can deal with that.
What kind of sexiness do you have? ANS: 92% Normal average girl next door...haha I could have seen that coming.
What type of person are you in school? ANS: 75% Prep bitch...(am NOT!!!), 60% Teachers Pet...maybe.
What type of weapon would you be?...any guesses??? sword.
What was your high school stereotype? ANS: 50% Geek.
There were others that I don't feel as comfortable putting up...so I won't.

I was thinking today. What is the perfect kisser like? Or the perfect boyfriend? I guess everyone is different, but for me, the perfect kisser would be a lot of things. I guess they would have to know what is right for each of the different moods. When a guy says something flattering the perfect kiss would be soft and gentle. Romantic. Bringing my lips closer and closer to his very slowly. Like time is slowing. And when our lips touch, we take our time to feel the softness of eachothers lips and press them together. from there anything can happen. Whether it is pulling back or starting more demanding kisses that say 'I want you' and 'I want more'. When the mood is more crazy, like when I am running around or trying to get away from being tickled the perfect kiss is a little rougher. When he catches up to me he lets one hand slide around my waist pulling me closer while the other one slides through my hair resting on the back of my neck. He gives me a split second to look into his eyes before pulling me closer and pressing his lips to mine, letting his tongue slide between my lips to press and course along mine. It's very thrilling, leaving me breathless. There are many other moods like the flirtatious one, but this is good enough for now.

May 24

I got a kitty!!! and named it Fedor. It is so adorable. It likes to attack my mouse cursor. I guess since it is a wolf, therefore it is like a half an inch unlike most little arrows, that are smaller. So it attacks my screen, but still adorable. Yesterday I went to Ryans, and we ended up going to Cale's and Shelly's with Sean and helped them take suff out of storage. It was good to see them all again.

May 23

Well today hasn't really started yet, but I wanted to write anyway. We did get our refrigerator yesterday!! It is nice. We are going to use the mini frig too, since we don't know where to put it anyway. I read my first book yesterday. I loved it of course, it was the fourth in a series of the twelve that I have, so I know what I will be doing for the next few weeks. Sometime today I am going to put a new tip on my sword and Ryan and I are going to practice, since he doesn't work today. It will be fun. I guess I will write more later if something interesting happens.

May 22

Today has been interesting. Mostly running errands, but I have to be here this afternoon, because hopefully we will finally get a new refrigerator put in. I love apartment life. I get to cook all of my meals(if only I didn't have to worry about leftovers, I can only make enough for my sister and I, since the frig is down) :( But oh well, it is still fun. I got to run today. I am pretty motivated about the whole running thing. I don't know why. I mean I was in high school cross country for four years, and I hated getting up every morning at 6ish in the summer time to run before breakfast. But there is something about it this time that makes me want to. I think it is the fact that I don't have to, and I am not forced. And that I actually have scenery, and can change were I run every morning if I want to. At home you could only go two directions, so it was pretty boring. Three more weeks until camp!!! Although I do have to learn how to swim in that amount of time. eeek. haha I know I can do it. And my boyfriend said he would help me. Just like he would help me with anything that I wanted or needed, because he loves me and even though he knows I will do fine at camp without doing anything extra, he will help me because it will make me feel better. He is just that sweet. Just like he helped me every time my braces wire came out when I ate something. He would always put it back in, even though it was my mouth and braces.

May 21

I started training today. Finally. The only thing is, is that I only have three weeks to train. But it isn't like I am out of shape, just a little out of practice. I don't know how far I ran. I can't drive it, because it was a path. Everything is finally clean here in the apartment. I finished this morning. It makes me happy. Now all I need to do is practice swords. Keep it up.

I have been hiding
And am still hidden
Until everything is over
And it is sunny again
Things get worse
Before they get better
But after they get better
It just repeats
Over and over
Like it will never end
But I know it will
What will be the ending?
What will the end result be?
I don't know
But it will end
Soon
And the secrets
Will be safe
Left unspoken

Cute-Sexy or Sexy-Sexy...I was reading today in a magazine.
Cute-Sexy: round, wide-set eyes, people ask to pinch your cheeks, can't see the outline of your cheek bones, and your natural brow shape is softly rounded. "These features are linked to babies and puppies and are read as endearing and worthy of affection."
Sexy-Sexy: full lush lips, you can see the outline of your cheek bones, and your natural brow shape is angular and archlike. "Pronounced features like sharp cheekbones and lush lips send a very sexy message. 'Defined cheeks suggest a fit, toned body and are associated with beauty...and full lips are seen as sex objects.'"

I Miss You

I am sitting here writing
A few hundered miles away
I am thinking of you always
Just a few more days I say.
I am getting restless
Running out of things to do
I am counting down the days
I really miss you.

May 20

Many things have happened in the week that I was home for my sister's graduation. The first five days were not interesting. I visited with family. My other set of grandparents was there and my aunt drove there also. The visiting was a lot of fun. I got a digital camera and took lots of pictures. It made me happy. I had an orthadontist appointment. They put bands in, so now I get to talk even less than I already do and have absolutely no interest in opening my mouth.

But the last three days were interesting. And not necessaraly interesting good. Okay, so I will just talk about the part that I am willing to now. Skip Wednesday. Thursday I went to Tracy's. Well before then my sister and I had to box up all the eight kittens we had and take them to the other house. :( Probably the meanest thing I have ever done. We also boxed up one of the mothers, hoping that she would take care of the kittens so they wouldn't starve or die. See at our other house, no one lives there and no one keeps up the place, well we are trying to fix it up, but no one is going to go over there to feed them. :( I felt really horrible, but the mother is a good one and she hunts, so I am hoping they will be alright.

Well, we got to Tracy's and her cold was very weak. We were there watching her mother try to feed it milk, and keep it standing. The mother didn't produce enough milk for it to get a good start, so it had joint problems and was very weak. But anyway, it died. Right after it drank the milk. I felt really bad for Tracy and her mom and it wasn't all that much fun watching the poor animal die right in front of me.
The rest of the day went well. We watched underworld evolution because my sister hadn't seen it. It was good. Then we sword fought...on horseback. I really appreciate the movies now when you see people fighting on horses. It is really really hard. There is so much to do in a second. Hit the other person, without getting hit and remembering to move the horse and the commands for the horse to get you a safe distance away from the other person in the right direction. But I think we got the hang of it. It just took some getting used to.

Friday we left to come here at 7:15 in the morning. We got here at 1:17. So it was definatly the longest drive here that I have ever made, but we stoped for breakfast. There was three cars. My sister in front with grandpa in with her. Then me driving behing her and grandma driving behing me. It was really stressful. Trying to keep cars from getting between us. And since Melissa drove slow for the fist half, and there was an even slower person in front of her that she couldn't pass, because she isn't comfortable with that yet. So all sorts of cars got between grandma and I. And then Melissa passes, but I couldn't, so I had the hardest time trying to catch up later. Then I lost them in Rolla were we were going to eat, and I didn't know exactly where we were going to eat, so I was really stressed out. But all went well, and now my grandparents have more of an appreciation of me making the drive all by myself several times a year.

May 10

Today was a lot of fun. I got to go to the range and shoot lots of guns. Then go to a barbeque. That was a lot of fun too. Then more packing and moving into the house. That has been my day.

P.S. This might be my last message for a week or so. I am going home Friday, and tomarrow I will be busy most of the day studying for my cs finals. But I really want to go home and see my family, so I am leaving right after I finish my last cs final.

May 8

Oh, did my day start out bad. I even knew it was going to happen. I just feel really stupid anyway. It is finals week, and I have five finals, one today, two tomarrow, and two friday. I have math today and tomarrow, and cs on friday. Well, I though I had my calculus final today at 9:30, and my foundations final tomarrow at 11:30, but I was wrong, I had my foundations final today at 11:30 and calc tomarrow at 9:30. I figured this all out at 9:30 this morning. So me being as intelligent as I am decided a few days ago that I would wait to study my foundations until after my calc final. Haha, well I had two hours to get ready for the test. I guess it could have been worse and accidently skipped one, but this was pretty bad.

Well, anyway, I studied, and did fine on the test. Now I have a lot more free time today, since I spend a lot of time already on calc and I already took the other one. 

May 6

Yesterday and this morning was fun. I actually stayed out all night long...:) It was exciting. The day started out busy. I ended up spending 2 hours trying to find a bow tie for Jeff for the Military Ball. Then I had to study for logic, with Jeff at work, because at 3:30 I was gonna do a friends girlfriends hair for the ball. But she ended up running late so I didn't do it. But I took the final at 4:30, then had to run back to my room grab my uniform and everything else and go over to Olga's where I figured out how to put the pins on my uniform. We took lots of pictures then went to the ball. It was so nice, but the food made me feel sick, not the taste as much as the smell. There was a lot of funny parts like the cutting of the cake.

Then there was the dance. That was a lot of fun too even though Jeff and I only stayed for like an hour and a half of it. I got him to dance with me, which was a lot of fun. Jeff and I don't really dance, which made thinges even more fun and interesting. We ended up leaving aroun 10 and going to hastings to rent a movie then we went to his place, and I watched about half of it. I think he didn't see anything but maybe the first 10 minutes. But he had to get up at 12:15 for buddy challenge. So we did and went to walmart where he won me another stuffed animal( :) ).

I came back to my dorm around 1:45, and got online, but both my roommates were sleeping and I didn't want to wake them up with my typing I got off soon, and walked around for a while before going up to the computer lab and get back online and play some games. Which I did until somewhere between 2:30 adn 3:00. Then I went to ryle to visit Ryan. We played poker and chess. He beat me at both, but it was a lot of fun anyway. So, I got back to my room around 4:30, and fell asleep around 5:00. Then got up and ate breakfast around 9.

Later, I moved some more things into the house. I am so excited about living in a house! I took a nice long walk which was a lot of fun. Then I ate din din and did April's hair for her formal. I have been wanting to do hair for a long time, so I was really happy.

May 4

Eeeeek, Computer science is killing me right now. Swords was fun though.

okay later I decide I am liking cs a lot more. I just figured out the pattern!!!!! I am so excited now.

May 3

My week so far has been pretty boring. I have been doing pretty much nothing. I did go to the battalion run today. It wasn't even two miles but it was so humid, that everyone's shirts were soaked. Then we had to take a picture. It was awesome, and by awesome I mean not cool at all. Now I don't really feel well, but I forced down some breakfast. Hopefully I will feel better later. No fireworks tonight. :( too rainy.

I get my plane tickets tomarrow!! I am excited. I fly out the 11th of June. Coming back around the 10thish of July.

April 30

This weekend was great!! There were downs, but overall it was awesome. My sister got here on Friday(i picked her up from columbia). Then I went to class, but after that we ate dinner and went to swords. Swords was fun. It started raining at the end, which made things slippery. Then I tried on the dresses and I loved them. Then we watched underworld.

Saturday Tracy, Melissa, and I went to walmart for like 2 hours. It was a lot of fun and I bought a lot of things that I didn't need. Then I highlighted mel's hair. I think it looks good. She didn't like it at first but now she loves it. Then we watched serenity and made smoothies. Later we all went to Jeff's, and he made us dinner, while we watched Dark Angel. It was pretty awesome.