Hey loves. Well i'm freaking out. The reason is because my b/f keeps talking about MARRIAGE and i'm not ready for that shit. He told me that we would be married in 5 years. BULLSHIT!!!!!!! I don't wanna be married in 5 years. I want to be hammered at a party. Well maybe i'll change my mind. Because i do wanna have children in 5 years but i mean...MARRIAGE thats just weird. Oh this is so weird for me because i don't know if he really loves me or just wants me for sex. Which he has only gotten once and that was 3 months ago and he is just like me and sais it didn't happen. But last night at his house he was all trying to fuck around with me and i let him and we got into oral sex and shit but i only let him because he wanted to. Oh this shit is just crazy.

Well i must say today was not so good. Kyle and i just arn't getting along because he said that he would change and he hasn't and it just isn't right. I don't know what to do so if you really care about people in need give me a idea of some sort. I threw away my relationship with Tommy for him and i'm starting to regret it.

Well for those of you who know me you know the situation i am in.....i love kyle but i'm board and i want Tommy so bad.......oh what to do....??