Well i am officially sick today. I went to the carnival all night and i'm so fucking tired. Kyle wants me back and i miss him so much. I do love him but i can't put myself through the shit i went through before with him. And i saw Phillip L. this weekend and well we were all over each other. And Kyle snuck out last night and we were hanging out. And well Josh stood me up this weekened and so i don't know if he wants me or not. My old group wants me back and i don't wanna go back. And my new group is some crazy but awesome people. I just don't know what to do.

Hey loves. Well i'm freaking out. The reason is because my b/f keeps talking about MARRIAGE and i'm not ready for that shit. He told me that we would be married in 5 years. BULLSHIT!!!!!!! I don't wanna be married in 5 years. I want to be hammered at a party. Well maybe i'll change my mind. Because i do wanna have children in 5 years but i mean...MARRIAGE thats just weird. Oh this is so weird for me because i don't know if he really loves me or just wants me for sex. Which he has only gotten once and that was 3 months ago and he is just like me and sais it didn't happen. But last night at his house he was all trying to fuck around with me and i let him and we got into oral sex and shit but i only let him because he wanted to. Oh this shit is just crazy.

Well i must say today was not so good. Kyle and i just arn't getting along because he said that he would change and he hasn't and it just isn't right. I don't know what to do so if you really care about people in need give me a idea of some sort. I threw away my relationship with Tommy for him and i'm starting to regret it.

Well for those of you who know me you know the situation i am in.....i love kyle but i'm board and i want Tommy so bad.......oh what to do....??