No matter how much i pretend...its still just...akward...

I just noiced something.
i am the most selfish, self involved person i have ever met...
i mean...i dont even remember my friends birthdays...
actully...i cant remember anyones birthday except my own...and my brothers...and i know my brothers cause it was written on our clock that i looked at everyday at breakfast...
I never know anything about other people...not even the simple things.
I hate it when my friends come over on the weekends, because i like myself alot more then i like them i guess.
I usually worry about myself alot....
its weird. I never actully connect with any one i have ever met in my whole life. It always seems like theres some wall there, and im on one side, with them standing on the other.
No wonder i never really have any best friends for long periods of time.
I didn't even relise how much someone liked me, because i was too busy thinking of ways to make them not hate me like i thought they did.
Im practicly a fake...theres probably alot of people that think this already.
I just hate how selfish and vain i am. Im so self-concious about my looks. Especially my nose.
I cant stand it.
I cant stand how god damn fake i am.
I'm such a bad friend and person all together. 

Uh...*twiddles fingers* Hey....welcom to Diary entry 15244...other wise know as D3s's day today! (and a bit of info from a few days ago too) You dont really have to read any of this though...seeing as i only have about three friends on elftown...so.....yeah....>.>

Ok! so today i finally got over my cold that my brother gave me (evil bastard)...and i got to go back to school.

Science was alot of fun. we got to all wear cool lab coats and those safty goggles...
only my lab coat was too big for me ^^' (if you dont know, im really short...) and i had my hair up in a pony tail, and i even had my fringe up!
(this doesn't sound like much but its the first time in two years that i've had my fringe out of my face in puplic for more than 2 seconds...)
everyone in my goup was giggling and saying how cute i looked ^^''''' then my and Amzy (Mc HamHam) began joking around with the idea of it being the new fashion, so we were randomly modeling in class....later when we sat own, i took Amzy's chair, so we swapped who we were, and ended up drawing on each others books and stuff, then we changed back when the whole class was just about to play Hangman.
Our teacher knows alot of big scientific words...
i think he had the unfair advantage....
We also named our little experment group 'The Mad Scientists'
...after rejecting all of the names i put out there...such as The Wild Hams, Porkie Pigs ect.... -.-'''  (i wanted it to mach Amzy's name TT.TT)
but Mad Scientists is good i guess ^^''

I got kept in at Maths, like 10 with some other people, cause i hadn't finished the work...which wasn't fair, because i hadn't been there the last two days, so i had to start from the start,while other people had finished most of it -.-' i hate my math teacher, shes so evil. plus...she has really gross flabby arms!!! ><

Me and Brianna have began work on learning our script she picked (i was away ><) its prett cool. but freaky.
its about this girl whos dad killed her sister when she got sick and ugly and stuff.
its the daughter Jody (me) yelling at her mum (brianna) about it, and how the mum never used to go see the sister and stuff. its really creepy and dramatic.

at school, people have began useing my 'Dead Weight!' expression! (remember in a post a while back about the game i play with Amzy that i made us)
Well, Amzy tripped over and feel into Micheal and he goes 'heh! dead weight!'
i was like 'Gya! you totally stole that from me!!' TT.TT
Amzy said people steal it cause its so cute...when i do it...>.< curse these not-as-cute-as-me people!!

Speaking of cute, im getting better at my sad puppy eyes.
thats when if a friend insults me or ays me out (as a joke though...hopefully O.o)
i stand there and give puppy eyes. sometimes even a slight wimper...it gets them everytime. The usually response is- 'Awww! im sorry! i didn't mean it'
^^ just one of my many talents.

When i got home i read about how bad Panda-chan was feeling about Brian passing away....im sorry Panda-chan...if theres anything i can do (even sending you those funny photos) i'll glady do it.
Poem? i can write you a poem....
although....i've never really wrote a kinda....happy....friendly poem before....so...that might just make things worse....
But if theres anything i can do to help >< just tell me kays?
And if not....i'll just do a whole ton of random crap untill you laugh.
You know i will! i've dont it before!! o(>.<)O

...Ok, i've wrote alot, and probably bored my three only friends to tears by now...so i'll wrap it up...

Huh...i guess i have no final thoughts....oh well....Totoloo Friends ^^

Love from...Alice Hert.
(aka D3s ^^)