I don't know why but there are so many times when out of no where I feel so depressed. Sometimes I think to much and I just stay in my room. And i start to think of the dumbist things. Like A few days ago I felt so alone for no reason. Then I thought something so dumb. I thought that one of my best friends only come over to talk to me or hang out whenever she felt bored and no one else was around. I started to hate her so much. Then a few hours later i felt like such a stupid bitch. I should know that Alex would never act that way. I felt so guilty for even thinking that. Just because she is my friend doesn't mean that she has to include me in EVERYTHING. i mean what if she doesn't want to say any thing to anybody? Or maybe the problem is really not any of my business. What I don't get though is why I even started to think so badly of some one who not only is one of my best friends but who never did shit to me? No wonder I am so obessed with the psycology and shit like that. It is just another way to understand myself. and maybe one day i'll stop thinking so badly of my own friends for no fucking reason. I may be able to why it is so fucking hard for me to just fucking trust people.