For everyone whom I so rudely left for such a long time,

I have not been on due to work and moving and such. yes, my grammar sucks. ^^I just wanted to update that I just found out I am going to be a mommy!!! so in short, I apologize for not being on very much but I was very excited when I logged on and saw all of my birthday wishes and happy holiday messages!!! ty and I love you all *muah*

good news!!! the doctor gave me pain pills for my back and antibiotics and am already feeling as good as new!!! I go in in another two weeks for blood tests but everything is slowly going back to normal, thank you everyone for your prayers and concerns!!! And I will definately have to start taking pictures again

So just to keep y'all updated (for those of you following my medical track)
I went to the doctor today for a Severe UTI and they gave me antibiotics but since I have taken my first pill I have gained some really bad back pains. I called the Dr. and he told me that if they get worse or if I develop a fever to go straight to the ER for it could be a kidney infection as well. *crosses fingers* pain pain go away and don't come back another day!!! lol well here's to hoping! I will update as soon as I get more info

Just so you know,

I don't realy say much about my personal life out here but I figured I'd let you in on what I'm going through. for the last 9 months I have been sick and we don't know what it is. For the last 4 months I have ben extremely sick and going to the Dr. but we still don't know what it is. I am extremely fatigued, can't concentrate on one thing before I lose my whole thought process for a second and I get so dizzy that I become nauseated. It is not lime disease, diabetes, ms, lupo, hypoglycemia, or blood clots. all they can do is put me on different medications and cross their fingers. I have been going to one of the best doctors my little town has to offer but he has regrettably told me that he will refer me to another doctor on 09-27-10 and hopefully we will have results from there.

I know this is completely random but I needed to tell somebody because my patience is wearing thin and my body is wearing down. I don't like asking for anything but if you could spare a prayer I won't forget it. Thank you and keep I'm fingers crossed!

Gentle waves caress my skin
as I listen to the breeze
the lapping waves and roaring wind
in my own insanity

everything is so pretty
so wonderful and sweet
as shadowed thoughts bludgeon me
and knock me off my feet

beautiful red clouds the water blue
as knives stab in my back
all my thoughts are drawn to you
as my vision fades past black

so here i am all by myself
with no more suffering
my beautiful delusions
in my own insanity

unfinished just venting.....

so, i am wondering what is up with this blue/black thing? or is it just me?

I have decided that I am an EPIC FAIL!!!!!! I can't do anything right an no matter how hard I try I am always going to fail. period. nothing I do tends to end happy in the end unless I am helping someone else. I don't think that I will ever have a happy ending because I fail at everything that involves me. I think that I was meant to be miserable while making everybody else's life better...maybe that was my purpose...to love everyone and make everyone else's life better...well, at least if I think about it that way I don't fail at my job...

If you couldn't tell, this was a vent lol

So here is a poem that I have been meaning to put in here for a while now, its called...

Dance the Night Away

Dancing in the moonlight
As it slowly fades away
I look ito your eyes
And the darkness turns to day

Wrap your arms around my waist
And kiss me on the lips
Take my love and all my faith
For thats all I have to give

Your warmth is so amazing
Your breath is oh so sweet
Your love is so unchanging
You sweep me off my feet

Dancing in the moonlight
Before it turns to day
Look into my eyes
And let's dance the night away

(c) Angie Tucker

" A BROKEN FAMILY "
A child cries a far off cry
A mother asks a mournful why
An alley cat meows for some meat
A farm goat chews his hearty wheat
A mother comes home to an empty house
A child is warm and snug as a mouse
A wolf cries out to the far away moon
a robin sings a sorrowful swoon
A brother is scared of what is to come
A sister is clueless and snapping her gum
A father is yelling
A mother's eye is swelling
A sister is singing
A phone is ringing
An agent comes in
And the bad news begins
They will be apart
it will break their poor hearts
If it weren't for the madness
drugs brought them to sadness
A child cries a far off cry
a mother asks a mournful why
Angie

You ask me who I am
Do you really want to know
When I tell you who I am
Why do you say it isn't so
You tell me who you think I am
You tell me I am someone else
I tell you who I am
You say that I am trying to be someone else
When you ask me who I am I stare
I think of what to tell you
If I tell you who I am
I do not want to hurt you
Do you really want to know?
I will tell with my soul
You say that you already know
But you really havn't got a clue
Why do you say I am not me
Why do you say I am someone that you want me to be
Why, I cannot say, but this is me
I am not who you want me to be because I am me
As all of this goes through my head
you look at me with hope
Right now I am filled with dread
And with all of my fear I hope that I can cope
You ask me again and I stare
You ask me if I know
I look around everywhere
And say, do you really want to know?
~Angie~

I am going to write my poetry in here and if any1 steals it I will personally hunt them down and kill them.....