well..im still not my self..and me and rico talked..we're gonna stop "loving"..who the heck knows what that means..well..i feel like im loosing him..and i cried myself to sleep..tehn i had a bad dream..and woke up crying..im not my self..and it sux..ill try to put a smile on for yall at school..but'll be fake..

i havent felt my self in a long time...like 3 days..i think its cuz on sunday..what dom said..and now me and rico dont talk as much..johnny says in his vissions that we will be together..but im doutign..and im pretty sure..we'll always just be friends..my heart is breaking in 2..i feel like crying..and 2 ppl noticed..rico..and nicole..thanks guy..

well..i guess im better than yesterday..me and rico are still talking..its kinda awkward..but..we still say i love you...its weird..but..yea...

gohs! im so confused now! we went to my church for a serman on dating or waiting..and now i feel like im gonna loose waht i had with rico..now we probably wont hug or say i love you or nothing..rico was the joy in my world..and now it feels like my life is gonna come crashign down on me..but i wanna do gods will..so i cant continue wiht him..and it sux..cuz i love him so much..and i have to make a choice..and i cuz its gonna be...were gonna have to stop being this close until were ready to court..adn that wont be until were like 18..life sux..im confused...and i feel liek crying..and i could use a friken hug..but no..no ones here...so..ttylz..

today was fun! we went to funtime with rico..and he's brother broke up with his g-friend..and rico was talking to her..i was so jealous..i dont even knwo why..were not going otu..or anything.but...i got a head ache and sat out for a while..and rico kept starin at me funny..he kept doin it czu i told him it was creaping me out..adn he said to look at him..he needed to tell me something..i looked up and he said "your so beautiful" i just laid my head on his sholder..i love him so much!

friday i had school..then after school me and my cuz sarha weent to the skate park and she let me barrow her sucky skate board and i tired to go down a ramp and landed on my sholder! it hurt soooo bad! tehn we came home adn watched spice world and fell asleep. then saturday we woke up and ate at ihop..then we droped sarah off and i went shoppin for ashlieghs b-day present..tehn i came home and waited until she came and got me.. we went ice skating..and magic happend and now her and my other friend(guy) are goin out. theyre such a cute couple.then i went home and me sarah and rico (<3) went to see fever pitch. sarah got all jealous! Lolz! then we went to my house and went swimming. it was super cold so we ran up stairs and got ricos shorts(not swimming kind) and a blanket. then we went dwon stairs to wait for his dad and me and rico cuddled cuz it was cold. then his dad came and me and sarah ran up stairs and watched spice girls once again..then we woke up and had to go to early church..and we picked rico up..then me brooke and my daddy went to kruville to see my family. it was so boring..all we did is sat and talked..it was awkward..well..now im home...

so i had a choir constert tongith..and i asked rico to go..he told me he probably couldnt..but i was super sad when he didnt..now im all sad and crap...yay im not leaving town until sudnay :D:D:D yay! then i get to skip school mondya and sleep hekc yes

weel tongiht was one of those church nights when you cry..and i mean alot! i cried and cried and cried about alot of things..rico came and prayed over me while i was crying and praying..he prayed in african! it was os cool! then i went and prayed with tonya and jeselle in the bathroom of all places! but there so awesome..then i came back out to pray and rico came and huged me while i prayed and cried...and time seemed to stop totally..i love him soooooooooooooo much! i thank god for him everyday..

My sister and dad are fighting...here's the story..
My sister got home from school..she assummed my dad would let her use his truck to take her friends out to a game..he got mad and said no..so me adn my dad ended up going out to eat..we just got there not even out of the truck yet and my ssister calls saying that shes gonna go to Heb with her friends..my dad asked why she said cuz she couldnt drive..and she ended up hanging up and sayig f u twice. then my dad got pissed and we turned around and didnt get to eat at all..tehn we got home and theyre fightign..but my dad just told her that she can take the truck to the game after he gets me something to eat..this was a stupid pointless fight...gosh..idioit family..im hungry :(

he knows what im gonna say allllllll the time!!!!

rico called me sweetY^.^ he's so cute :D :D :D <3

gosh me and rico think too much alike its weird...lol but cool...lol :D :D:D :D i <3 rico with all my heart :P :P:P :P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P!

you know when you have the certian person who thinks the exact same thing you are at the same time..and you say it..well..me and rico have been doing it alllllllllllllllllllll night..we think alike so mcuh its starting to scare me..lol <3

so today was when we get our machanical babies for school..and i got a girll..but they were no more white ones...so i got a black one! allison did too! lol here's part of our conversation:
Blaire lol yeha i adopted from africa
Alli :D Like rico!
Blaire: lol he's from africa..but he's not black!
my babies both :P
Blaire :-P

oh yeah i forgot to tell you about the retarded chicken, roasters, and goats at mexico..oh and this funny puppet show!

mexico was soo great! we moved these real heavy brick things..we were helping to build a clinic for this church who takes care of specail ed orphans..we had to take freezing showers! and it was cold outside..and all i pakced were shorts..and i shared a bed with 2 other ppl..we bought a bigggggg back of cheatoes 3kg and josh made out with it..his name was timmy..then me and angie stole it and ran into my room..we poped a big whole in it so we put it back togeter with my gum O.o they ate it too..lets see..i fell asleep alot on the van..we ate so much tacos..i ate a tomilee shell (nasty) we had alot of coke..had to bring our own water..missed rico like crap..i felt sick the last night and morning..i walked around mexico in pjs..i fell asleep in a wheelbower..i got amzing messages from josh..i got 2 blankets and a flower thingy..um..lets see..we went to a church..they spoke in spanish the whole time (so confusing) saw ricos name everywhere!, musles hurt bad..didnt get sunburned..paitned..paint still wont come off..didnt spend any time with god.., cuddled.., had bad dreams.., got attacked by a spider..um..ppl got on my nerves..like brooke tonya and scott..um..stole a skrit and doms hat..i probably smelt bad..hair a mess and we dirty..but all in all it was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!

today was soo much fun!!!!! OK..well i woke up and we went to go help someone move from my church. we got there and loaded everything up.. then we were about to get in the van and alex pushed me on the dolly! i thought i was gonna fall!! then dom left the keys in his truck and stupid spencer drove off with them..so we had to wait. and jesellle threw a preticle at my sister brooke..then she thought it was dom..so they started wreasling and he threw her in the mud..then put hot sause all over her..tehn she went after alex cuz ppl told her he started it..then we got in the van and went to the house to unload everything..then..me and brooke taged teamed and threw mud all over dom..then he threw it back at us..so we tried to use the hose to wash off and he sprayed us all over! then ppl started throwing ice at us..then it was war...so we threw ice back at them..then we went back to the church to eat pizza..pastor mark threw water on me..so it started agian and we chased dom all over the place and threw him in a puddle..then we threw him in the sand all wet..but we got thrown in to..and we were all wet..so then marrk(pastors son) tackled kody into sand..and so we ran after him with mud..and i jumped across the river..adn threw mud at him and he pushed me into the nasty river..and then we chased him down again..some hwo i got coke and dr peper on me..then we went home..and i felt soooooooo nasty so i took a shower..but it was so much fun..im sooooooo gonna get them back when we got to mexico on monday! but yeah that was my day

yo! today was fun! i woke up and went to school! i plucked johnny and andrews eyebrows! LOL! they have two now not one lol! then we had to make a pizza for a claass and i burned my slef trying to get it out! lol it hurt. then it theatre we took the pic for year books. it was funny cuz i had ice in my jacket pocket(in a bag) and it was leaking. lol. then after school my aunt and my cuz picked me up and went to her house. we got really bord waiting for her comp to load (its really slow) and i went throgh her drows in there and i found white out! lol i paint my whole finger! lol im whiter. then her mom dropped us off at taco bell around 4:30ish. we bought some tacos and headed out. we walked to church. we heard the mexican song we heard on the way to dye and we made up are own words. so we were singing it and these old ladies looked at us funny and started to laugh. then an old guy was looking at my cuz wrong so i told her to hock a loggie. lol she actidently spit on his car! lol it was funny! thne we talked to our youth pastor. then we ran outside and yeah. then ppl showed up. Scott came and started doing these tricks and my cuz tired to do it too and she fell! lol it was great. then angie brought some chicken and i ate like 3 pieces lol. then uncle rico and amber came. (not really my uncle. hes like 14 lol. we call him that cuz of nepolean dynomight) then we went inside for church to start. we talked about annosements. I might go to mexico spring break!!!!! then we said hi to everybody and took down pray requests. then we prayed and went into worship. After worship we talked about forgiveness. we have been talking about it for 3 weeks. we talked about how forgiveness isnt a feeling its a dision. we were goin to watch a movie but manny tired to turn it up and he changed the channel. then he turned it off and turned off all the tvs. lol it was great! then we got dismessed. we were outside talking. then everyone piled into cars. i rode with amber damin jt and uncle rico. i didnt eat anything cuz i ate there earlyer. me and uncle rico talked. then amber wanted him to order food for them so we got up and ordered it. then we talked some more. then johnathen came and sat by us. we talked to him and i put me and my sistas phone # in there lol then shea came and we all talked. then uncle rico and them left so i hung out with john and shea then everyone went outside. amanda gave me and my sista a ride home. i got home took a shower and tired to get all the white out off. lol its still wont come off! lol! then i went to bed..

welll today after school suked! i got home and my mom was like "no ones helping me! i dont have a job. im sick and i cant get a job!" then she started talking about killing herself. so she called my dad and he was on his way to pick me up. so we started fighting. she sad that she was goin to call the cops on my dad when shes the one who called him. so i unpluged her phone line (mine was still open) and shes like "im goin to call the cops on u cuz ur out of control!" loser! then she tried to use the neiborghs phone and i told them my side of the story. i marched down and waited for my dad outside. then my mom kept calling my dad like "u have my child and i will get her back" when shes the one who friken called him! krack head! my god!!! i hate it when shes like that..

today was cool. i woke up and went to eat with my sista and my dad. we went to the ihop amber our friend works at. then we came home. about 2 amber came home and we went shoppin..and we just got home..

MAN DYE ROCK SOOOOOO MUCH!!! ON THE WAY THERE US GIRLS DANCED TO TEJANO MUSIC! WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANT. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! DOIN EVERYTHING! WE GOT TO THE HOTEL AND IT WAS FUN! WE PLAYED ON A SKATERANP WITHOUT A SKATEBOARD AND IT WAS FUN! WE WENT TO WORSHIP AND THE MEETINGS AND IT WAS FUN! WE ATE AND IT WAS FUN! EVERYTHING ABOUT THE TRIP WAS FUN!