Hung around so much, you knew what i was thinking...
Damn.

ahh crap, they say take it day by day...but i never did things that way.

i doubt they'd care when they get the call, most of them will probably ask 'who was he?' or 'she-.-'

a diary..for my dead.

n0b0dy ever t0ld me where t0 g0, no directions, just...expectations half hidden with the guise of hypocrisy.

maybe thats why i find it so difficult.
0f course i envy them, how couldnt i? i never had that,always out of reach,occasionaly approaching within my grasp only to mockingly excape my desperate efforts to seize it.

is this really my fate? or is fate only the embodiment of ones own faith in ones self? either way, its seems near impossible to fight it. to fight for change.

its disheartening to say the least, i cant just leave it to memory, such is my way, and this desire, possibly the only reminder to who i am, and so for that reason, i will not supress it.

but that solves nothing. it simply gives an answer to a question i have no need to ask, not while there are more pressing issues.

the longer i leave it, the further away the prize sails.
but..alas....time is running out and unfortunatley so is my will and determination.

but the prize, and what a prize...if there will be any chance for me, i must keep my mind on the prize and..with all that i am, i must race for it. and never stop until i cross the finish line.
but, whether i will achieve this in my lifetime, is unknown. i will not give up hope. but i will not be possessed by fantasy.
either way, it will be a challenge worthy of gods.
whether i fail or succeed is yet to be seen

and it is apparent i must bear in mind that the end justifies the means.

if there is a god,help out.

</3D</3E</3A</3R</3 </3D</3I</3A</3R</3Y</3

why dont these people want me? am i that bad? i must be......i cant make anyone happi can i....

all happiness gone now....
just loneliness........endless loneliness........
this is gunna suck....
its never going to get any better...
</3

</3D</3E</3A</3R</3 </3D</3I</3A</3R</3Y</3

0o where yoo bin today then?
hmmhm
dadaadaddalaladldddaladallalalalda...mmhmm.....hmm..mmm..mm..mm d aad ada
oh no there brigning a storm against us...yeh0o man the fucking walls, plattoon after fcking plattoon, its all the same chaos choas my new picture of heaven hcanged by the everlastign tides....
gimmee more..
gkmmee it all