This is the worst pain iv'e ever felt...

its strange how things turn out =/

what a night...

I'm so sorry, for everything.
And believe me, if i had a gun i'd blow it all away.
But i'm too much of a coward to do it any other way

I am sorry.
I took the most important thing i've ever known for granted, and now it seems i've lost it.
Nothing less than i deserved, I never did deserve her.

I've forgotten this feeling, because happyness is all i've ever known these past few months
Best times of my life, without a doubt or its shadow...i never did get 'shadow of a doubt'

I'm lost really.
Numb.
It's still early aswell...only 20 to 8
I think i need a shower.

Im so so sorry
i always did screw things up as a kid, i guess i never changed.

I never ever meant to hurt you, ever. And i always l0ved you, and always will
please remember that. if nothing else.
No matter what.
xxx

i think i'l jus die on a rope
since im obviously no good around here

did you jus take a piss in my bloodshot eye?
metaphorically of course dear, its such a dark night, not dark enough, i can still see you
scattered away, when my number aint up, or maybe it is...
isnt it on
a ledge
i always got to follow, turn out the lights, so you cant see me cry, im feeling so hollow, they left me to this...its all so empty....its hard to swallow...but i know whats coming dear, so make it quick, obviously it cant be painless...but jesus fuck.

In a moment
i'l see it all end
i cant even get angry

times are gone for honest men...
heaven send me back to them...

And I Ask Myself:
What Have I Done?
Then I Realise The Answer:
Nothing.

Maybe Thats The Problem, Maybe I Don't Do Enough...

Sir.
I'm Back.