You ever just sit back and think of the shit that is wrong with life itself. or not even wrong, but just life itself. i mean, life is fucked up. people are fucked up. look at us, our entire lives are based upon wanting to impress each other. but think about it, who really gives a shit what anybody else thinks. i know i dont, or i try not to, though sometimes it sneaks up on me. what I really just want to say is FUCK EVERYBODY. I dont give a shit what anybody thinks, what anybody has to say or what anybody is thinking or saying about me when I am not around. and that is the way everybody else should be too. stop worrying about what complete strangers think of you, what your friends think of you, what anybody thinks of you. think about it, you dont like anybody and nobody likes you. we make ourselfs think we like people because of qualities they have, but we dont really like them, we like that quality. the only reason we like those qualities are because they fill a void within ourselfs. is there really a void though? no, we just mask it and make ourselves feel empty. but it does feel empty..... and that my friends is the problem with life. inorder to impress others, we make ourselves feel like shit, wether we want to admit it or not, it is human nature and everybody does it. i know that nobody will probably read this, and i dont care if they do or not. this isnt to please anybody, it isnt to make myself seem like some sort of emo kid outcast. it is just thoughts, it is just facts of life....

think

i hate that word, think. i hate that action. thinking ruins everything. if nobody thought, we would all be happy. thinking leads to thoughts, which leads to notions, which lead to ideas, which lead to beliefs, and beliefs are the root of all evil. if nobody believed in anything then we would be free. no values, no sense of right and wrong. but consider that fact, no sense of right and wrong... just because you have no sense of it, doesnt mean that you are gonna just immediately and instinctively commit a crime or a sin or an act against your fellow man. it is just a care free, come and go, first come and first serve existence. If we see something we want, we take it. no harm, no foul. that is what it means to have no sense of right and wrong.

doesnt anybody ever want to get away from it all? no technology, nobody around, no hassles or distractions? i mean honestly, fuck television. all it does is take our lives away. stupid television shows about absolutely nothing important. we watch tv shows that relate to ourselves. fuck that, those shows take away from who we are and make us into them. do you really want to be like them? that is how the system fucking gets you. do you really want to be a product of the system? well fuck you buddy, you are too late. you are already a product of the system, you are in it in every aspect of your life, you are just unaware of it. the fucking matrix has you. your life isnt being watched by fucking GOD or MUHAMMED or ALLA. it is being watched by your fucking government, men and women sick in the head, wanting power and seeking control. they have lost sight of what it means to live. they arent happy with what they have. they want more and more, just like you. but unlike you, they were born into the resources they needed to get where they are inorder to control you. it is fucking insane and we need to stop it, we need to realise what the fuck is going on. but people are ignorant, they are fucking stupid. they are too blind to see they are puppets, controlled by their media, by what they have created.

FUCK YOU ALL, YOU ARE SICK. I WANT NO PART OF ANY OF YOU.

fuck education, fuck the system. humanity ruined itself when we build up society. think about it, money ruins so much stuff. people say we cant cure so many things or do so much stuff because we dont have the money. I say, if we can all take and give willingly, no sense of possessions or ownership, use what we need and give back as much as possible, then life would rock and everybody would be happy and we would advance so far. we dont need fancy cars and fancy televisions, put that engineering and research into building a fucking craft that can take us farther than we can imagine. we dont need money, just a sense of being not an individual, not part of society, but part of life. part of the grass, the trees, the animals, the bugs. we are no better.... we are no better....

isnt that depressing, we go around all day thinking we are better than everything, we are the top, we are number one. but we are no better than anything. we are just the best at destroying everything. think about it, with no humans around, there would be no pollution, trees and forest and lakes and water all over the place. the earth would be perfect. just sit back and think. doesnt everything else make you sick? buildings, tall or short, it doesnt matter. roads. cars, old or new, awesome or rust buckets. anything besides nature... doesnt it just make you sick? doesnt it make you angry? doesnt your life, my life, our lives, dont they fucking suck because of what we, our parents, and the rest of the fucking world has done it them. our lives are living fucking hells. i hate routine, i hate knowing routine, i hate feeling routine, and i hate understanding the difference between routine and change, and i hate change, and i hate feeling change and knowing change. but most of all, i hate fearing change. we may get scared at movies, we may get scared of the dark or be afraid of bugs, but the truth is, the only real fear we should have, the thing that is inevitable and most scary, is change.

soon, everything we know, everything we think, everything we belief that we love or that loves us will be altered and gone.

soon we will be gone.

gone

it is the ultimate inevitability.

we are born, we go to school, we worry about what others think, we try to control other people, we make ourselves up to be more that we were meant to, we make oursleves believe we were meant to be anything. we live what life we have made for ourselves. we do our drugs and fight our fights and pretend we are better than everybody else or make ourselves believe anybody is better than us. we grow old, useless, and.... we..... die........




as all  things   must    and      do.

Perpetual fear's in motion
I summon you to call
To stand among the threshold
To support the fragile wall
Encase all your emotions
With chain and steel and lock
Understand there's no forgiveness
Your mirror is your god.
Society is falling
Will you be the one
To stand behind the trigger
Holding the smoking gun
The time spent is destroying
They fight for what they know
Their closed in what they know is right
We're delt the final blow
Never has imagination
Been the cause of so much pain
Its sick that all this fiction
Brings our lives acid rain
Will you stand like Atlas
Holding up the world
Your back is fragile and weak
Cant support whats absurd.
Will you continue to trust
You have been forsaken
Remain a solid structure
What you know is bound and broken
Will you stay here and fight
For what you know's absurd
Fuck reason and truth
Support your fake lord.

Bruce Lee's Face by Chris Collier

Mindless in a sense
What am I doing here
This isnt where I want to be
Get me the fuck out of here
These people I'm around
They're not what was meant for me
I'm so ashamed of my turn out
Is there no escape for me

What the fuck lead me here
Where did my life go so wrong
When did others make me turn
Life was somethin, now its gone
Want to change what I've become
Self-Abuse for what I am
Sitting here out of my mind
Back to where this shit began

This isnt life
This isnt happiness
I'm meant for more
I settle for less
We're so pathetic
We can do so much better
Sit and get fucked up
Lose part of ourselves forever

Its my muse, my dream, my inspiration
To change to world, the state of our nation
We'll never get the chance, we'll always lose our turn
As we sit and trip, every inch the paper burns.

Bruce Lee's face on a wall
First it crumbles then it falls
Bruce Lee's face on a wall
First we suffer then we bawl
Bruce Lee's face on a wall
It laughs while we all fall
Bruce Lee's face on a wall
First we suffer then we bawl

disPICKabLE by Chris Collier

I may be here very wasted
But I have deffinately tasted
What life is really made of
It is not happiness or love
Its filled with eternal sorrow
Topped with a worse tomorrow
Life's a neverending joke
So we sit around and toke
Our problems will go away
But return again the next day
I wish to cut my wrists to end
My worthless life, so it wont begin
Fresh and new, I'm finished, I'm through
I am tired of pleasing everyone and you
I may be drunk but at least I am not
Sitting here thinking about thinks I forgot
I didnt forget the pain I feel
The lonelyness and negative appeal
To all that is here surrounding me
I just wish to suspend myself from a tree
It seems I have no true friend
I wish this pain would stop, just end
Nobody fucking cares for myself
If I died, nobody would care in hell
They would all just move on
No one would care if I were gone
What the fuck have I done with my life?
I am worthless and nothing, yet stricken with strife.
All I wish to do is die.
It saves me from my daily feeling, a desire to cry.

A Man Before The Hunt by Chris Collier

A broken glass is filled half empty with fear
The red moon rises on the end of the year
A face in the shadow waits with evil intent
A demon from hell makes another heaven sent
His eyes never wander, yet he is always aware
Concentrating on the grotesque reason he is there
A penetrating stare into wanderer's soul's
Choosing which one is fit for his goals
She has to be perfect, of godly design
She must be graceful, she must be refined
Dignified and proud, overflowing with class
She must be an angel, as delicate as glass
He sees his woman, a perfect target indeed
Suddenly his soul is filled with hate and greed
He must have her, he must get his way
If his prize is not won, he'll make everyone pay
The woman is alone and there is no one around
He sneaks up behind her, never making a sound
With a bag and a rope, he captures his prey
Then with a punch and a jab he wisks her away
She is famous now, in papers and on the news
But through all of the searching, they found no clues
The man goes to sleep with a smile every night
He got what he wanted and she tasted just right


I hope you like this poem. I just wrote it off the top of my head.

Crumble and Fall by Chris Collier

Sink through what time allows.
Summon father, you're coming home.
Stand for what you think you know.
Watch your ideals crumble and fall.
Against the grain you tremble.
Past the curtain you become shadow.
Least you be burdened with purpose.
Then carry through with no regrets.
But soon you will regret what you carry.
Pass through with your irksome folly.
And go peacefully in sleep upon desertion.
Know what you know and stand as a wall.
But fall to pieces on discovery of the truth.
Live in denial at the obvious mistake.
Understand the time and breath is gone forever.
For what? Misinformation fed to the globe.
But realize the fault lay with the receiver,
The sheep of the invisible shepherd.
Face the truth with dignity,
But cower at the unwillingness to
Break from your life's fiction overhead.
Real knowledge is power,
Fake knowledge is weakness multiplied.
So fall under the stress, the strain of your fallacies.
That is what you should do.
That is what you live now.


Originally entered May 2, 2006. Edited June 15, 2007