How brief is the love that crosses the dawn!
Tired, the light of the Sun gives no sheen
To the memories of a love long gone,
Gives no solace for where we find ourselves,
Yet keeps the time of our futile dispersion.
The drum of our frenetic wills alone
Resounds in the fabric of the self.
Self against self, hope against hope.
Mother Nature herself can nary take arms
Against this hurtful vagabond dance.
Do we dare laugh? Cry? Shudder,
Against this small dread of existence?
Aren't we simply creatures of circumstance,
Then laughing, then crying, then shuddering
As the fortune turns? First, to laugh
At our opponents, then lament their victory?
To be defeated, for the heart to be crushed,
Perhaps, sometimes, to win. This is our lot.
Face it with simmering resentment,
Face it with sarcasm, with hatred,
But face it with the defiance it is owed.
I love her, I hate her.
I hang to her every word
As lifebuoys for my heart,
I never want to hear them again.
I lost absolutely nothing.
I lost her forever,
She was never there.
I am fine, I don't fret,
I am drowning in regret.
Forget about what happened.
I can, I will, I have.
Forget her, forget her.
I can, I will, I can't.
Forget, forget, forget.
I can't, I won't.
Now, this poem is not about "her". This one is about you. Yes, YOU! (^_^)
I have so much love to give you.
I want to see you smile,
To tell you everything is okay,
To see your face light up in joy,
To know what animates you so,
To be a rock in a world of chaos,
To be your shoulder when you cry,
To share precious moments with you,
To be a small part of your reason to live,
To lift you up when your spirits are flagging,
To give you water when you have none to drink.
Some poems I have written recently.
THE WINGLESS ANGEL
Freedom without potentiality is empty,
Living without you is oppression.
No longer straining at whispers,
Leaving you in the arms of a dream,
I am free to walk of my own will again.
To what end, if no road leads to your heart?
Your smile lighted all the good in me,
All other women are but its pale ghost.
In your eyes I saw the dancing cosmos.
Your steps, lighter than air, make a fool
Of my attempts to understand their rhythm.
May your feet never touch down, my love.
May your feet never touch down.
A CONFESSION
You are, at the edge of my consciousness,
Always circling, as a falcon's vast shadow.
A dull and bitter pain, an emptiness, unabated.
Is this what makes me shiver in the dark,
Or some dull retelling of a sweet deception?
In the mind, knowledge sweeps all doubt,
But the memories remain, fixed in the firmament.
How does a seeing man ever forget light?
How do the planets behave, which,
Then heeded their orbit, now are let loose
From the surly bonds of gravity?
How can a life, filled with your love,
Be ripped apart from it without pain?
The most delicate hands tread lightly here,
Surely I can do no better then those?
Inane? Perhaps. Unwanted? Definitely.
But I am not strong enough to stand
Against the undoing of my reason.
I am weak, yes, and stand defeated before all.
THE PECULIAR NIGHTMARE
The perpetual advice of the head-
Forget about her, despise her, hate her.
The perpetual questioning of the heart-
Who is she? What has she done?
How has she gained a stranglehold
On that part of me that smiled?
How is such a thing possible?
Or am I in the throes of
A most peculiar nightmare?
I see her everywhere, I see her in the faces of strangers,
Everything was purged, but the memories remain.
No command can erase a wound to the heart.
Humiliated, I still long for a word from her,
Anything that would bring her back.
I think of her and lo she is gone.
I feel trapped like an animal.
I feel like I am evaporating.
She will never come back.
I want to forget but I can't.
HOW TO GET AWAY FROM HER SHADOW: A PRACTICAL GUIDE
Walk the tightrope, never look down.
Evade all non-thought in your mind,
For that is where she resides.
Always talk to someone, do something,
Keep yourself busy. Write. Read.
Just keep the treadmills going.
Don't let it catch you again-
Every capture kills you a little at a time.
Don't look down, because it's there.
Don't look back, because she's there.
Don't look forward, because you're there.
All sources must be extinguished.
All distractions must be ignored.
The only way to get through it-
No more sentimentality or weakness.
Harden the heart, harden the mind.
Just keep walking, always walking, and don't look anywhere.