Dear Diary,
   My life is lost and I don't know where to go. I start college next month. Iplan on pursuing and fulfilling an education so I can do more with my life then be a worker bee. At least, that's my new goal. My old goal was for me to get my life started and get setlled while in college, so that I could take care of the love of my life. But she doesn't wanna be with me anymore, so I guess that my goal has to change. I have made the decision now, that thee is no point in me being where I am at. I moved here so I could make abetter life for the two of us with support from my family, but If I am going to be on my own, I can do it anywhere. I am gonna transfer back to Ohio next semester. That way I have a little money saved up to get myself started. At least in Ohio, I have the support of my friends. At first, I didn't care, because she was mor eimportant then my friends and if I had her, I don't need them, but still stay in contact with them.

Anyways, on with another sad part of my pitiful existance. We were engaged to be married. I was so excited. I wanted to plan a wedding soon, so that we could be together forever. I loved her a lot and I wanted her to be my wife. She is my life, so now I guess I'm dead. Anyway, continuing on.... Now she's dating some other guy. It really hurts me, cause now I know for sure that it's over. I know that she is over me and ready to geton with her life. What I don't understand is, I can't even look at another woman and be interesed. Does this mean she really never loved me in the first place? Does she hate me that much? What doe sit mean? I don't know, but it hurts.

  I can't stand being away from her, I had to call her everyday to keep myself from going insane. I can't stand going a whole day without hearing the sound of her voice. I have had her pictures set as my screensaver because I couldn't stand not seeing her when I woke up everyday. I even turned my bed so I would face the computer. Am I sad fo r this, probably. I don't care. I just wish she would remember how well we were together. Sure we had our bad times, but who doesn't? I just wish I could hold her, kiss her, squeeze her, pick her up, play with her, tease her, or just see her, just one more time. I love her with everything I have. I will give my life for her love, but she can only give me sadness in return.