[XBrain_DeadX]'s diary

895464  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-01-06
Written: (6339 days ago)

Disguised Again
She sits by the window. Clinging tightly to her pillow. Wondering what face she should wear today. her mask of clay. Everyone puts theirs on display. Change it, rearrange it, let everyone see. Soften it, harden it, whatever she wants it to be.
So many faces. In way to many places. All are plastic. All are fake. There's always another to make.
Without the mask, who would we be? Without the mask, what would we see? Stop pretending. This is so condescending. We're all afraid to show our face; to show the real us. So we live in a world of clay and dust.

894946  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-05
Written: (6340 days ago)

50 Feet Under
Her last word a wisper. She has lost her mister. She has no choice; she has no voice.
Her tears mixed with blood and pain; as they flood the floor and stain. As she lies there dying, the walls seem to be crying.
Torment in her face. She has fallen from grace. Her beauty so rare, her complection so fair. Her wings burned into ashes. All her memories dashes.
Her hopes begin to fall. Her dreams are too small. All her years filled with hate and sorrow. She believes her fate starts tomarrow.
Behind locked bars, she looks up to the stars. Her thoughts louder than thunder. She's 50 feet under.

894937  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-05
Written: (6340 days ago)

My Thank You Note
I thought you would leave, but you stayed. These fears won't seem to fade. The tears I've cried, all through the years, haunt my dreams, and you heard my screams. Cutting my wrists, and suicidal thoughts. My reason to live I have missed. Someone like you I have sought. You broke my nightmares, Gave me the breath of life, I'll be your human sacrifise. The only one who cares. With you the rain goes away, and now I have a reason to live another day. I'm no longer blue, and for this I thank you.

894936  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-05
Written: (6340 days ago)

Fuck this shit! I try and I try, and I still don't succeed. Then they make me bleed. Wanna die; don't fucking cry! I hate myself for what I've done. Want to hurt someone? Then I'm the one. Look at my broken reflection. Mamma should of never had that fucking sesection. Without me fantastic they would be. Without me they all will shout with glee. They're better off without shitty ass me.

893205  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-12-31
Written: (6345 days ago)
Next in thread: 893216

Lost little soul
All our sins are filed. Mamma cries 'cause she's lost her child. Daddy sits disoriented. Everyone else just aren't interested.
You yell to try and stop the screaming. You wake all that are dreaming. With everyone else you watch in silance as he says, " May you rest in peace." Then they all have a feast.
You cry for their pain. Now you're part of the rain. You put your life in danger to save the life of a mutha fucking stranger. They would lie for a simple fuck. Shit! This is just your luck.
Now you're a ghostly spirit wondering alone while they're getting stoned. You bled your last drop so they could have their fun. Thought they were friends, but they're fucking asscunts.
For them look what you've become. God! You're so fucking dumb. Your cold and numb. To save a few lives you've gone too far. But truth be told we can't help what we've already done, or who we are. 

892486  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-12-29
Written: (6347 days ago)
Next in thread: 892528

Forever Ago
Running from my past didn't last. Chasing your shadow on the wall. You let me fall.
You said you'd always be with me. But where were you with all my suicidal attempts? When I'd try and die to be with you. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do. When you said " I love you kid." I'm sorry I never said it back; even though I really did.
Remember that time when we tried to dodge the rain drops, and wound up soaked? Mamma was so mad she almost choked. Now the rain only reminds me of pain. Remember when we laughed so hard that it began to hurt? Now you're baried in the dirt. I use to look people in the eye. Now I can only watch as time slowly goes by.
What ever happened to " Forever and ever"? I guess now it's never. Forever ended September 4. Now you're gone, but I can't seem to move on.
We got into so much trouble; we just didn't care.I was happy as long as you were there. I just wanted you to wake, but you didn't; not even for my sake. God, How I miss you so. I was happy once, but that was forever ago.

892483  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-12-29
Written: (6347 days ago)

If Someone Told You
What if someone told you that you were almost through? Would you break down and cry? Would you undue every lie? Every sin that you made?
Would you want to be alone? Or tell someone on the phone? Or anyone at all?
What would you say, what would you think, what would you feel, If someone told you that your time was almost up.
Would you climb the higher mountain, or go in a corner and cower? What would you do, if someone told you that you were almost through?

892480  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-12-29
Written: (6347 days ago)

Walk Away
Every last tear I've cried. Every fear has died. Every sorrow sought. Every tomarrow brought. All the pain poured. All your dreams soured. All the blood stains; as it fell down like rain. Every scream heard. All your sins is clean. Walk away, into another day.

889683  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-12-21
Written: (6355 days ago)

The Only One
Lost in his eyes, and my pain dies. Paralized by his touch. I love him very much. He's the only one who can make me feel this way. He's the only one who can make my heart beat fast and slow when " I love you" he would say. Frozen by his kiss. Everyday it's him I miss. Don't ever want him to leave; I want him to stay with me. Till our lives are done, he's the only one.

888626  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-18
Written: (6357 days ago)

TO LATE
Screaming parents all around, and me with no sound. Do what they say; I have no choice; I have no voice.
A scaring past; that'll stay till I take my last. A love that seems too good to be true, and still looking like a fool.
To late to apologize. To late to take it back. The damage is already done. I am defeated, and they have won.
My fears are covered with blood and tears. I fake a smile and laugh just to make it seem okay, but really I don't want to live another day.
To late to apologize. To late to take it back. I've Screwed up more times than you know. Blood is what I owe. Hold me when I'm scared ( I'm still surprised that you care). You heard me when I cried out, but it's to late to save me now. With this shit and all, it's better if you let go and watch me fall. To late to save me now.
Let me look in your eye's, and whisper in your ear how much I love you, and I'll never let you go. Let me kiss you one last goddamn time. Before I take my last breath, before I take my last sigh. Before I say my last goodbye.

888621  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-18
Written: (6357 days ago)

Hush little baby don't you cry. One of these days you're going to die. Mama's not here to craddle you to sleep, so listen to your little heart beat. When it ends there'll be no more sin. Everything'll be okay, they're better off without you anyway. Hushed went the baby; it didn't cry. There in the craddle the infant lies.

888619  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-12-18
Written: (6357 days ago)

THIS STRANGER
This is not me; I do not smile, I do not laugh, but this girl does so as:
As if there is no hate. As if we have no fate. As if there was no blood and pain. as if fear doesn't flood the world and stain.
If you look though the window. The window that shows through me. A stranger there will be. I fell helplessly in love, and she came like god sent his dove.
She will not fade, she wants to stay. She's the stranger who will not go. If he's still here she will not do so. She's the stranger who will not leave. She's the stranger who has come over me. She's the stranger who is so much fun. She's the stranger I have become.

887584  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-12-15
Written: (6361 days ago)

Wash me clean, and watch the way I laugh and scream.

887581  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-12-15
Written: (6361 days ago)

Her once laughing eyes; now not so gleaming, but screaming. You gave away.

887079  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-12-14
Written: (6362 days ago)
Next in thread: 887202

Drip by Drip, inch by inch, they fall. They stain, all my pain, all my sorrow, from yesterday's tomarrow. All my fears; from all the years, they fall just like tears. Drink them all, drink them dry. This river that falls from my eye.

 The logged in version 

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