[NukleaЯ EveЯgloW™]'s diary
what the fucking hell is goin on!!
it's like something's inside of me
a different entity
some creature...
and it's trapped within
lost inside of me...
i just want it to go away!!!
aaaaaaahhhhhhh
fuck fuck fuck fuuuucccckkk!!
why tonight?
why now? i just want to feel fine!!!
arrrrrgggghhhh
[and no, nothing's wrong between me and my girlfriend. we're fine]
raaaaaaaaaaaaa
Song Dragon
In the war between good and evil, a Song Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos.
As far as magical tendancies, a Song Dragon's nature does not lend itself well to the ways of Magic.
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Dragon Description:
Song Dragons are a dull grey color to their scales, but are graceful and quick in movement. The most striking attribute of the Song Dragon is it's voice. Having several sets of vocal chords, the Dragon's every word reverberates like a string symphony.
Song Dragons build their homes deep in seclusion, but in truth they are very social and friendly in nature. They will often be found polymorphed into human form and fraternizing with people in bars and public places.Song Dragons are the bards of dragonkind, they greatly value creative thinking and artistic talent. They live life to it's fullest, and are well known for going to extremes. They are also known for their good-hearted nature and kindness.
http://dragonh
[ Fate Untold ]
[----Part One: Sacred Silence]
As I lay in my sacred silence
I hear words that I never spake
Causing emotions to come to surface
Overriding the ones that I pretend
I assure everyone that I'm fine
But I lay in darkness at night
Crying out my silent sorrow
Wishing for no tomorrow
I've been to the edge and back
It is closer to me each time
And each time is another crack
I'm so fragile I could break
Don't know what is happening
Don't know what to do
I'm just so afraid that my choice
May end up hurting someone
They needn't hurt anymore
So maybe I'll be the one
To take away all the pain
And bring it unto myself
[----Part Two: Unknown World]
Scared of going further into the unknown
Others are following me into it
I don't know what I should do
I don't want to go into the darkness
But there's just a part of me
That wonders if it'll be alright
Traveling into worlds unknown
Surely it may be a delight
Then again there's another me
That doesn't want to go
It's scary to think about the others
What would become of them if they get lost
Ok, well originally this was going to be just one whole thing, but I kept on writing so I felt it needed to be into
part one and part two. The entire thing is called Fate untold, but if you're talkin about just one part of it, call it by the part name.
Written about Sunday 2007-12-09
Written: (6196 days ago)
[Saving me]
I sit here starin' out the window
Watchin the world pass me by
I sit wonderin if you even care
And sometimes I just break down and cry
Cause it feels like you're no longer there
Like you no longer even care
Why do I even bother to try
When all I seem to get is hurt
I wanna be loved
I wanna be yours
I wanna make you mine
I wanna feel fine
I'm tired of feelin hurt
Tired of feelin down
Tired of gettin left in the dust
Don't wanna be backburner anymore
Let me into your life again
I love you til the very end
Cause no matter what I do
I'll always be here to love you
And I don't even know why
I love you when you make me cry
When I feel like you've forsaken me
What must I do to be with you
There's nothing I'd rather be
Than be in perfect harmony
Cause when I'm down like this
I don't know how much more I can stand
So help me save me from myself
Keep me from going six feet under
You know you aren't helping
When all you do is neglect me
I wanna be yours
I wanna have you
I wanna last forever
Hear my words
I wanna be loved.
WHEEE I'M A DAILY POET!!
GO ME!
lol i'm a dumbass
I missed my turn to someone's house tonight.
I ended up going straight to the other highway lol
what a retard i am.
and it was before even the first curve in the road
eh, oh well.
she got the charger and i'm feelin fine.
hehe. i'm so stupid
Hurting For You
On the floor I lay motionless in pain
All my mistrust drivin me insane
I keep on thinking the love is true
But then I see the things you do
Why can't it be just us two
Crying my melancholy tears of pain
My chest tightens once again
Got me feeling oh so low
Leaving cry stains on my pillow
Why can't you just pick me now.
I am tired of all this waiting
That I love you, there is no debating
You say that you don't wanna hurt me
Well you're hurting me now don't you see
Why can't I be yours now and forever
All I ever did was love you
Ok, I checked out Ranma 1/2 vol 1 from my school library right...
well...ummn...
DAMN I NEED THE OTHER 33 VOLUMES THAT I HAVEN'T READ!
GRRR. I NEEDS MONEH!!
I should've never checked it out, lol.
wanna smoke?
check this out
http://myspace
Written about Saturday 2007-11-10
Written: (6226 days ago)
Dear diary,
I feel like total and utter shit.
I'm tired of feeling this way.
I'm going to try something new
see if that works out for me
if not I'll just go back to what
I used to do.
I feel so bad...I can't explain it.
I just want it to end without me ending it all.[I WILL NEVER END IT ALL]
Fuck why does this have to happen...
Why can't things just go smoothly...
Wish there was something or someone
that could kill all the pain I have
and resurrect the joy I once possessed.
I'm sick of feeling sad and alone.
Nothing really matters unless you make it matter
I think I made something matter too much
and now I'm paying the consequences.
I hate it hate HATE IT!!!
I know I'm not perfect.
But neither is anyone else.
Why must my life be such a fuckup...
I just need someone who will love me that I can love back and never stop loving me...I want someone to be mine forever...
</sad rant>
Linkin Park - Given Up
Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me!
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
with me!
GOD!
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my...
Put me out of my fucking misery!
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me!
Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
[] Blonde - $50
[] Black - $15
[] Bald - $5
[] Other-$75
Eye Color:
[x] Brown - $1
[] Green - $75
[] Blue $50
[] Hazel $100
[] Other - $15
Height:
[] Over 7' - $200
[] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[x] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75
[]4'9" to 5'4" - $45
[] Under 4'9 - $45
Age:
[] 31 to 40 - $100
[] 26 to 30 - $75
[] 21 to 25 - $50
[x] 17 to 20 - $25
[] 0 to 16 - $100
Birth Order:
[] Twins or more than twins - $300
[x]First Born - $300
[] second born - $150
[] third born - $100
[] fourth born - $100
[] fifth born - $100
[] Last Born - $100
[] Only Child - $250
Do You Drink?
[x] No - $400
[] Only Holidays - $250
[] Sometimes - $215
[] YES - $200
[] Only weekends - $350
[] Every other day - $50
[] Once a day - $15
[] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
Vision?
[] perfect vision -$300
[x] need or have glasses/contac
[] No correction $100
[] Glasses $50
[] contacts $25
[] Surgical correction - $1
Car(s) Color
[] Black - $450
[] Blue - $900
[x] Gold - $700
[] Gray - $600
[] Green- $350
[] Maroon - $800
[] Obsdian - $800
[] Pink - $2,000
[] Primer - $75
[] Purple- $250
[] Red - $400
[x] Silver $300
[] Tan- $20
[] White - $475
[] Yellow - $100
[] Metallic - $200
[] Rusted - $15
[] No Car - $0
[] Other - $ 50
Shoe Size:
[] 13+ - $300
[]12.5 to 13 - $250
[] 11 to 12 - $700
[x] 7 to 10 - $500
[] Under 7- $550
Favorite Color:
[] Aqua - $350
[x] Black - $100
[] Blue - $300
[] Brown - $50
[] Green-$750
[] Orange - $300
[] Pink - $100
[] Purple - $225
[x] Red - $600
[] White - $400 (not a color)
[] Yellow -$475
Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[] Yes - $0
[X]no- $1000
[] on some - $550
wheee $4301
Teenage Heartbreak
http://s5.bite
clicky plz ^^^^^^^ (^^)v
Love
Love
Sometimes It's all you want
To be loved
To have some to call yours
Such defiance it can cause
ignores all logic
Causes irrational behavior
And may end friendships
The emotion it conjures
Makes you feel so good
Like it's the best thing ever
And you never want it to end
Love
Sometimes it's so terrible
You despise it
And end up losing hope
Such brokenness it can cause
Hurt beyond measure
Sometimes it's so bad
Lives end up being killed
It is a double-blade sword
Making compromise and taking risks
Even though it may not last
it is a chance you should take
Nothing compares to it
With it, much happiness arises
Loss of it, great sorrow is wrought
But it is a chance I'm willing to take.
'Lost' Child
You think yourself right,
Yet you avoid me.
Run away at my sight.
What do you see?
Is it strange?
Are you scared?
Feelings beyond your range?
Emotionally Impaired?
Confused?
Feeling used, abused?
Desperately defused
before the love xplosion.
Detatched before
you're overrun with emotion.
You dislike what you don't understand.
You fear what you can't comprehend.
You avoid what is no longer known.
Suppress your conflicting thoughts
and emotions.
Hide them and forget them.
They'll only affect you later on.
The subcounscious will catch up
to you.
Forgive
Can you hear it?
Thump thump
Can you feel it?
Thump thump
Can you taste it?
Thump thump
It's getting closer
Thump thump
Behind you
Thump thump
Run away
Thump-thump
Before it gets you
Thump thump
Don't-*trips*
Thump thump
It has you now
Thump thump
There's no escape
Thump thump
Hatred has consumed you
Thump-thump
thump-thump
Bleeeeeeeeeeee
No way out
Except to forgive,
And then forget.
Remember not why you hated
Keep America Alive
Look around and tell me what you see.
Is it the way it is happening?
The United States of America being diminished
To simple be the United States when finished
America is slowly slipping away.
Never again to see the light of day.
You see it happening every day.
Calling it just the U.S., the United States
It's on reems of paper and on the
Internet. Soon shall there be a generation
Whom knows no America. America the free.
America the proud. America the brave.
They'll only know the United States to the
Grave. Embrace yourself as an American
If not, there won't be one ever again.
The United States of America is being diminished
Only to to be the United States when it is finished.
When it's gone, America won't carry on.
It's up to you to awake in te dawn
And protest your grievance for repreive
Before the eve of when America takes
Leave and it'll be something you won't believe
And you'll be gone before you even breath.
So take a stand and never leave. Fight
for what's right and Keep America
in U.S.
Forevermore
Riding on the dead train
Dead inside from the pain
The hurt of old memories
My heart has lost its keys
Locked up with someone inside
Whom over I have cried
Someone I'd give my life for
To be with forevermore
Conflicting Empires
Conflict of two minute empires
Neither speaking directly
Using a shared tribe
For tasks and speaking
How long until resolve?
Until hatred dissolves?
When peace is achieved
And fright disentigrated?
Why the mindless hostility?
Such empires should not fight,
But embrace positive qualities
And disregard the past.
Destiny tugs each other.
Forces visual contact.
But indirect exchanges,
Made by a middle tribe.
Using it unjustly,
For neither confront each other
Neither empire wishing to
Make the first move.
Inane little empires.
When will they learn?
Do unto others
As you would have
Them do unto you.
to be updated...