[NukleaЯ EveЯgloW™]'s diary

1049820  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2008-10-12
Written: (5888 days ago)

These slipknot songs are awesome =D




Slipknot - Everything Ends

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING

Shallow skin, I can paint with pain
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain
Everyday it's the same - I LOVE, YOU HATE
But I guess I don't care any more...
Fix my problems with the blade
While my eyes turn from blue to gray
God, the worst thing happened to me today
But I guess I don't care anymore...

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING

My flaws are the only thing left that's pure
Can't really live, can't really endure
Everything I see reminds me of her
God I wish I didn't care anymore
The more I touch, the less I feel
I'm lying to myself that it's not real
Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal?
I'm never gonna care anymore

What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?
Where the hell am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed
I am only conditioned to die



Slipknot-Duality

I push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I have to take...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my time's elapsed
Now, all I do is live with so much hate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

Put me back together
Or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the Pieces, then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way,
Nothing is what it seems!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!



Slipknot - Wait and Bleed

I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander over where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...

Goodbye!

I wipe it off on tile, the light is brighter this time
Everything is 3D blasphemy
My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up
This is not the way I pictured me
I can't control my shakes
How the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong...
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this
Is it a dream or a memory?

I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander over where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...

Get outta my head cuz I don't need this
Why I didn't I see this?
I'm a victim - Manchurian candidate
I have sinned by just
Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away

I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander over where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...

Goodbye!

You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain was always free

I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...

And it waits for you!




Slipknot - Snuff lyrics

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camaflouge for what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I cant destroy what isn't there
To live with me into my fate
If Im alone I cannot hate
I dont deserve to have you
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me, saver every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight

So save your breath I will not hear
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
My hope was bannished long ago
It took attempt before to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I wont listen to your shame
You ran away your all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know

If you still care don't ever let me know
1048474  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2008-10-05
Written: (5895 days ago)

Would you even care?

If I ran away...would you care?
Would you care if I bled?
If I was dead would you care?
If I disappeared...would you care?

If I showed up tomorrow...would you care?
Would you care if I was healed?
If I stayed alive would you care?
If I was found...would you care?

If I didn't call you...would you care?
Would you care if I needed more time?
If I was locked away would you care?
If I layed around crying...would you care?

Would you care if any of this happened?
Would you care if you never saw me again?
Would you care if I never talked again?
Would you even care...?

1046109  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-09-19
Written: (5912 days ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=437Xhc89rns
Colon Open Bracket - The Heartache of Soccer Moms lyrics

From you,
The water seemed to fall
The fire seemed to burn it out
Hold that candle to your heart

For a time
For a time we'd wait it out

& I'm sorry i moved on
& I'm sorry you're not gone
But hear, don't look for me
Because I already waited

& I promised you a heart
& I'm sorry we're apart
But hear, don't look for me
Because I already waited

For you
I'd write another song
But you'd forget that one aswell
You know you're 10% above us all

To see you mourn
To keep inside
To hold it back and not talk online
What was I just meant to think
It looked like you were moving on

& I'm sorry I'm happy
& I'm sorry what you've seen
But hear, dont look for me
Because I already waited

& I'm sorry I moved on
& I'm sorry you're not gone
But here, dont look for me
Because I already waited for you

1045960  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-09-18
Written: (5912 days ago)
Next in thread: 1046028

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1044109  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-09-04
Written: (5926 days ago)

Never Whole


I am alone once again.
Days come and ago,
but one thing I long to know...
Why can't I last to the end?
The world is not my friend...

Do I have some flaw?
Something hidden far from me..
When will I wake from this dream..
Cause nothing is like it seems...
When will I finally see?

The world is not my friend.
It will never see me to the end.
I need somebody to save my self
But there is nobody else.
And now it is all so clear

I am an example of pain
All the torment and the shame
I am all that is left to blame
I can never be whole again
I never win at this game

It is all so clear to me
These aren't my darkest days
There is more pain to see
It will find its way to me
It has its devious ways...
1026275  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2008-04-28
Written: (6056 days ago)

...OMFG >_<
how many people here are from waco?!
hrm...oh wait, i can go check...
to the search option!!

update!



Search for members


Total number of members found: 1138


...and how many people live in waco???
off to teh googlez!!


update!

update!


Waco City, Texas Statistics and Demographics (US Census 2000)
Waco Population: 113726
1023947  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2008-04-14
Written: (6070 days ago)

Not Over (Written by Me, [NukleaЯ EveЯgloW™])

When the world comes crashing down
And all is lost...
When no one is around...
All hope may seem to be gone,
But I know...
I know that it's not over.
Not over, not over.
I know it's not over...

I need someone there beside me,
Someone to love me...
Just to hold, for my own...
To wash away, the pain,
Make everything feel alright...
I know I may have messed up,
Screwed up, failed again.
No one's perfect...

And I know...
I know that it's not over.
Not over, not over.
I know it's not over...
So please forgive me....
For what I've done...
I'm sorry
I just don't know what to do.

But I know,
When all hope may seem gone...
I know what I need,
And that somethin, is someone...
To love for my own...
To make it feel alright
I'm sorry, but I know,
I know that it's not over.
Not over, not over.
I know it's not over...

I'm sorry, but I know,
I know that it's not over.
Not over, not over.
I know it's not over...

1015926  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2008-03-05
Written: (6110 days ago)

Subject: 50 years should be enough!

Copyright in sound recordings currently lasts for 50 years. An independent review (the "Gowers review") commissioned and endorsed by the UK government says it should remain at 50 years. Yet the recording industry continues to demand that this term be extended. But term extension would be an injustice to European musicians and musical culture, and may harm our economy.

Major record labels want to keep control of sound recordings well beyond the current 50 year term so that they can continue to make marginal profits from the few recordings that are still commercially viable half a century after they were laid down. Yet if the balance of copyright tips in their favour, it will damage the music industry as a whole, and also individual artists, libraries, academics, businesses and the public.

If you agree that copyright term on sound recordings should not be extended past 50 years, please, sign this petition today:
www.soundcopyright.eu
Together, we can defeat copyright term extension.

1009075  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-02-01
Written: (6142 days ago)
Next in thread: 1009097, 1009132

after school today
i came home.
went to my room
did a much deserved cry.
i just let it all out.
i wanted to cut
couldn't find my wallet
so i didn't.
i feel a lil better now.
but not much
but it's an improvement
that's better than what i was tho...
oh well.
i'm just another condemned flesh bag...

1008955  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-02-01
Written: (6142 days ago)
Next in thread: 1008960

on this bed i lay
holding back the demon
inside of me...
i tried through all the day
but tonight the barrier is broken...
opening things of the recent past
bleeding out from the wound...
releasing the demons from within
escaping only to return again
i try so hard but then...
it's wrong...
all wrong
all wrong...


crying...slowly dying...
bleeding...silently weeping...
cursed...rotten fleshbag...
unworthy...damned screwup...

i try oh so hard
but my dreams get smashed
everything i do or say
is never enough, always wrong
i feel that nothing matters

i'm falling, falling
but no one's there to catch me
i'm alone and drowning in my
river of plagues, so cursed
and this dismal feeling is worse

i'm losing my hope
holding on to a thread
and it is unravelling
and i am falling into
the dark abyss of my
evergrowing self-destruction

everyone i know, i bring harm
and everything i've tried
it is nothing but wrong
alone i am meant to be
i only make things worse
that's all i've ever done

it was a dream but then
reality hit me
i've lost it all
everything i once knew
is no longer what it seems
don't know what to do
or what to say
don't know who to trust

existence in of itself
is a blessing, but for me
it's never been anything
but a curse
i'm tired of desperation
i'm tired of being tired

i looked in the mirror today
what i saw wasn't me
that's not what i am
it's not who i want to be
it can't be
it'll never be me

i'm losing myself in
all of my thoughts
cause i lost my human side
so long ago
nobody ever knew

my soul is bleeding
feeling the torment
hating the pain
wish it could end

i reap what i sow
all i receive is pain
i'm decaying in this shell
the demons in me have
deserted me.

everyone i thought i knew
they're all leaving me
shutting me out
nobody cares that i'm bleeding
and all i can feel is the sting
i'm worred and i'm crying

i can't go on
living this way
i'm losing my sight
my mind...
wish somebody could say
that i'm alright

this sweet dispair
feeding my disease
my river of plagues
over and over it
breaks my heart
but i live on

i pick up the pieces
i repair myself again
like i have so many
times before

time and time again
it makes me want to go away
never to be found
so i can't hurt anyone else
i won't let it happen again
i'll never let it happen again...

1008291  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2008-01-29
Written: (6145 days ago)

Americans!
Watch this movie and be enlightened!!
There are things that the government
and others don't want you to know about!!


http://zeitgeistmovie.com/ -Zeitgeist - Things The Government Doesn't Want You To Know!!!</a>


It contains imperative information that must be known!!
Please watch it, you won't regret it.

1005992  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2008-01-20
Written: (6155 days ago)

Look at me.
It's back again
It's worse than back then
Don't you see
I'm in this on my own
Cause I want to be alone
Just don't forget me when I'm gone
When I'm six feet under where I belong
No I'm not going to disappear
But one day, all shall perish
And no one will be near
And the earth shall then cherish
Its own natural beauty once more....

1005991  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2008-01-20
Written: (6155 days ago)

what the fucking hell is goin on!!
it's like something's inside of me
a different entity
some creature...
and it's trapped within
lost inside of me...
i just want it to go away!!!
aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
fuck fuck fuck fuuuucccckkk!!!
why tonight?
why now? i just want to feel fine!!!
arrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[and no, nothing's wrong between me and my girlfriend. we're fine]
raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1000116  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-12-21
Written: (6184 days ago)

Song Dragon
In the war between good and evil, a Song Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos.
As far as magical tendancies, a Song Dragon's nature does not lend itself well to the ways of Magic.
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Dragon Description:

Song Dragons are a dull grey color to their scales, but are graceful and quick in movement. The most striking attribute of the Song Dragon is it's voice. Having several sets of vocal chords, the Dragon's every word reverberates like a string symphony.

Song Dragons build their homes deep in seclusion, but in truth they are very social and friendly in nature. They will often be found polymorphed into human form and fraternizing with people in bars and public places.Song Dragons are the bards of dragonkind, they greatly value creative thinking and artistic talent. They live life to it's fullest, and are well known for going to extremes. They are also known for their good-hearted nature and kindness.

http://dragonhame.com/dragon-quiz.php

999223  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-12-16
Written: (6189 days ago)

[ Fate Untold ]



[----Part One: Sacred Silence]

As I lay in my sacred silence
I hear words that I never spake
Causing emotions to come to surface
Overriding the ones that I pretend

I assure everyone that I'm fine
But I lay in darkness at night
Crying out my silent sorrow
Wishing for no tomorrow

I've been to the edge and back
It is closer to me each time
And each time is another crack
I'm so fragile I could break

Don't know what is happening
Don't know what to do
I'm just so afraid that my choice
May end up hurting someone

They needn't hurt anymore
So maybe I'll be the one
To take away all the pain
And bring it unto myself

[----Part Two: Unknown World]

Scared of going further into the unknown
Others are following me into it
I don't know what I should do
I don't want to go into the darkness

But there's just a part of me
That wonders if it'll be alright
Traveling into worlds unknown
Surely it may be a delight

Then again there's another me
That doesn't want to go
It's scary to think about the others
What would become of them if they get lost




Ok, well originally this was going to be just one whole thing, but I kept on writing so I felt it needed to be into
part one and part two. The entire thing is called Fate untold, but if you're talkin about just one part of it, call it by the part name.
997962  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-12-09
Written: (6196 days ago)
Next in thread: 998682

[Saving me]

I sit here starin' out the window
Watchin the world pass me by
I sit wonderin if you even care
And sometimes I just break down and cry

Cause it feels like you're no longer there
Like you no longer even care
Why do I even bother to try
When all I seem to get is hurt

I wanna be loved
I wanna be yours
I wanna make you mine
I wanna feel fine

I'm tired of feelin hurt
Tired of feelin down
Tired of gettin left in the dust
Don't wanna be backburner anymore

Let me into your life again
I love you til the very end
Cause no matter what I do
I'll always be here to love you

And I don't even know why
I love you when you make me cry
When I feel like you've forsaken me
What must I do to be with you

There's nothing I'd rather be
Than be in perfect harmony
Cause when I'm down like this
I don't know how much more I can stand

So help me save me from myself
Keep me from going six feet under
You know you aren't helping
When all you do is neglect me

I wanna be yours
I wanna have you
I wanna last forever
Hear my words
I wanna be loved.

 The logged in version 

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