Oh, I forgot to mention!

The MAXIMUM volume this phone has is best described as analogous to an 85 year old women with stage 4 emphasema whispering facing away from you from fifty yards. This phone is fucking silent. Big expensive headphones, giant stereos, I cant even hear my music. There literally is a huge market on the Google play store for apps called "Volume Boosters."

No, they do not work.

Ok, you people have heard my rants about how iphone 3s are defective, broken pieces of shit. You will probably never call Apple technology in general anything other than useless, offensively inferior bastard child products.

I recently got a google android phone. Now Im eating my words.

Is there anyway that we, collectively as a people, storm the offices of industry and fucking beat the shit out of the
M?

Oh, and the reason why that m is there and not where it belongs in that sentance is because this phone, like my iphone before it, is positively useless and enragingly broken as a writing tool. The cursor cannot be used. It doesnt go where youclick. There is no way to predict where the fucking cursor will go.it cant be moved either. I just sit here and try to click where I want it... aand try (And fail) to drag it there.

All these typoes are because the auto-correct feature on this droid should be charged with sex offense as it rapes everything I try to write, repeatedly correcting words that are actual words because it fucking thinks I mean something else. I'd call it a mother fucker, but you people would see " money trucker" instead. I literally had to reformat the keyboard program to turn it off. I had to, because turning auto-correct OFF has no bearing on that. It remains on whether I turn it off or not.

Despite this being a Google fucking phone, and google owns Youtube, its damn near imposdible to use youtube. I cant pause youtube or it will restart the video when I press play. It will be sure to replay the prevideo add, as well. Its impossibletowarch a video because, for example, it will take 30 seconds to start playing a five minute video, play four seconds, buffer for another fifteen seconds, play roughly 3/4 of a second, then buffer again, repeat ad nauseum.

Fuck this phone. Fuck cellular phone designers. Fuck AT&T, fuck google, fuck apple
I dont even use Google anymore. Specifically because of this phone, which is supposed to make google easy, i use bing. Fuck you, google.

Fuck androids. Fuck the information age, and fuck all these corporations and fuck their gullible, slack jawed, masochistic customer base. This is bullshit.,

I think/Now I must/A reason
I see all.



She gave her heart
To a falling star-
The news filled her through with this tragedy
All the walls went up

Around the world she declines
As the tears-From her eyes-Fall
No one understands, and no one will
All she has lost

If he's not here, then where?
If he's not here, then where?
If he's not here, then where?
If he's not here, then where?

As she found It there
In the cold, blue glare
The words distressed and unfamiliar
Where the fear links here

And emptiness had hope
And in her chest she clenched
Reality settles as the memories waste
While on the screen he lived

She teared
"Your selfishness has robbed you
Of the man you could've been."
Yet I wouldn't change a thing-About you
I love you dearly,
My friend.

If he's not here, the when?
If he's not here, then when?
My love,
I've been searching for my Afterman
If he's not here, then when?
If he's not here, then when?
My love!
I've been searching for
Searching for my Afterman...

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

Waiting like a stalking butler
Who upon the finger rests
Murder now, the pattern must we?
Just because the Son has come?

Jesus, wont you fucking whistle ?
Something but to pass the time?
Jesus, wont you fucking whistle
Something but to pass the time?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over, and
Why can't we drink forever?
I just want to start this over...

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me, and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down

Mother Mary, won't you whisper
Something but the past and done?
Mother Mary, won't you whisper
Something but the past and done

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over!
And why can't we sleep forever?
I just want to start this over
And I....

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me, and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave

Trust me,
Trust me,
Trust me,

Trust me.

Trust me.

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start things over!
And why can't we sleep forever?
I just want to start this over
And I...

I want
What I want.
I want
What I want.
I want
What I want.
I want!
What I want.

I try not to be a douche with my opinions on sensitive topics. I'llmock your taste in music, clothes, philosophy, and your current stats on the Douchebagocity Spectrum, but I try not to poke at politics or religion or sexuality or ethnic heritage, etc.

That being said, I also do not frequent social networking sites, or watch tv, or do a lot of other things 99% of the world population enjoys.
But you guys/gals do.

So I wanted to tell you, especially those of you in America, about something important I've been learning about.

It's common knowledge that the American political system is corrupt. It is so brutally corrupt that many people I know are revolted by the mere mention of "politics" as a topic. Nobody wants to acknoledge the elephant in the room, or beat the rotting dead horse. The American political system is intensely polarized, religously charged, and full of zealous supporters on both sides.

I have discovered the true source of my country's illness. It is not liberal or conservative concept.
It is not a religious concept.
It actually has nothing to do with the American people.

It does, however, have something to do with something called "Personage."
CORPORATE PERSONAGE to be exact.

It costs an average of 10.7 MILLION dollars to run a successful campaign to be elected into the US Senate. Virtually none of that money comes from middle class citizens (or lower middle class. Or upper. Or anyone anywhere ner the poverty line.(
Probably less than one percent of that money comes from small businesses, or individual donars.

That money comes from gigantic corporations.
Fucking colossal corporations.

"Corporate Personage" simply means that Corporations are allowed to donate to political campaigns in the same way as any individual US citizen is allowed to. That way is "However the fuck they wany to."

It's bribary, plain and simple.

If youre a bigtime facebook user, or you like tumblr, or any of that crap, I request you look at www.wolf-pac.com

If you like what you see, share it onthose sites. Share it like fucking mad. Spread the word. Please.

there must be something we can eat
maybe find another lover
should I fly to Los Angeles?
find my asshole brother?

minnie mouse has grown up a cow
davie's on sale again
we kissy kiss in the rear view
we're so bored, you're to blame

Try to see it once my way?
Everything zen? Everything zen?
I don't think so!

raindogs howl for the century
a million dollars a steak
as you search for your demi-god
and you fake with a saint

There's no sex in violence
There's no sex in violence
There's no sex in violence!

Try to see it once my way?
Everything zen? Everything zen?
I don't think so

I don't believe that elvis is dead
I don't believe that elvis is dead 
don't believe that elvis is

No sex in violence
There's no sex in violence

In general.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will!
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bull--shit--three--ring
SsssCircus... SssssSide-Show!!!

of Freaks!
Here in this--hopeless fucking
Hole we call "L.A."
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away!
Any fucking time Any fucking day.
Learn to swim!!!
I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure, and Fret for your latte,
And Fret for your lawsuit, and Fret for your hairpiece,
and Fret for your prozac, and Fret for your pilot,
And fret for your contract, and Fret for your car.

It's a bull--shit--Three--Ring
SssCircus-- SssSideshow--

of freaks!!!
Here in this--Hopeless fucking
Hole we call "L.A."
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away!
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim!!!
I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
...

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot set still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will!
I sure could use a vacation from this stupid shit,
silly shit,
stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.
Learn to swim
Learn to swim
Learn to swim

LEARN TO SWIM!
Fuck L Ron Hubbard and Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all these gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes.
LEARN TO SWIM!
Fuck retro anything. Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies, and Fuck your short memory.
LEARN TO SWIM!
Fuck smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional, insecure actresses.
LEARN TO SWIM!

Cuz I'm praying for mayhem!
I'm praying for tidal waves--
I wanna see the ground give way!

I wanna watch it all go down
Mom please flush it all away
I wanna see it go right in and down
I wanna watch it go right in
Mother Nature, flush it all away!


Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines!
I can't imagine why you wouldn't--
Welcome any change, my friend?

I wanna see it come down.
Suck it down.
Suck it down.
Suck it DOWN!


Yeah?
Yeah?
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.

To a certain Ashley surname, as metaphor.



Sleep on-- and dream of love
Because it's the closest you will get-- to love
Oh, Poor twisted child
So ugly. So ugly..
Poor twisted child
Oh, hug me. Oh, hug me

What November Spawned a Monster in the shape of this child?
Who later cried "But Jesus made me, so Jesus save me
" from pity, sympathy And people discussing me,
" this frame of useless limbs
"What can make good all the bad that's been done?"

And if the lights were out could you even bear
To kiss her full on the mouth or anywhere?
oh?

Poor twisted child,
So ugly. So ugly.
Poor twisted child,
Oh, hug me. Oh, hug me.

What November Spawned a monster in the shape of this child?
Who must remain: A hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her
A hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her
And symbol of where mad, mad lovers must pause and draw the line!

So sleep-- and dream of love
'Cuz it's the closest you will get-- to love

That November is the time which I must put out of my mind!

Oh, one fine day! Let it be soon!
She won't be rich or beautiful..
But she'll be walking your streets!
In the clothes that she went out and chose for herself.

This is a poem I wrote back when I was fifteen. I wrote it for a friend of mine who was undergoing a lot of bad shit in her family life. I thought of it earlier today...just randomly. I wanted to post it here, because Its kind of cool to know not everything I wrote back then was total crap.

"Give it"
by Darran Kern

Give, it to me
Before I steal it with my force
How much, all in all?
ALL, of course.

Give, it to me
Before I am forced to steal
How much, all in all?
ALL, for real.

Give, it to me
Before I steal it with my force
How much, all in all?
ALL, Divorce.

“Dead as dead can be,”
The doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him, ever the optimistic one,
I’m sure of your ability
To become my perfect enemy

Wake up and face me
Don’t play dead, cause maybe
Someday, I will walk away and say,
“You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way...

Leaning over you here,
Cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection
of what you could and might have been.
It's your right, and your ability
To become my perfect enemy

Wake up, and face me
Don’t play dead, cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say
“You disappoint me!”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Maybe... maybe you're better off this way.
Maybe
Maybe you're better OFF!

Wake up! Why can't you?
And face me! Come on, now!
Don't play dead! cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say,
“You fucking disappoint me!”
Maybe you’re better off this way!


Go ahead and play dead!
I know that you can hear this!
Go ahead and play dead.
Why can't you turn and face me?

(WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me?
(WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me?
(WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me?
(YOU!)
You Fucking Disappoint me!


Passive agressive bullshit.
Passive agressive bullshit.
Passive agressive bullshit.
Passive agressive bullshit.

Two hearts-- beat as one
Disguise your mind and feel the hope
This drone and buzz of our love

In time-- we move
This turning factor! Feel the groove,
Release the touch that moves you

Oh! this is HER! No regrets!
I embrace your defects
To confess: You were my every wish!
I admit: that I will never feel alone
Once I call.... You "Home."

OhhhhhHHHHH!

Push towards-- the dance floor
And together we'll show them who's boss
We'll set a fire once more!

Oh! This is HER! No regrets!
I embrace your defects
To confess: You were my every wish!
I admit: that I will never feel alone
Once I call.... You "Home."

Oh, maybe it's not now!!!!
Or later-- Till you save the best for last
I want to be everything you need!

Oh! This is HER! No regrets!
I embrace your defects
To confess: You were my every wish!
I admit: that I will never feel--No I will never feel alone,

Our sum in monotone
Where the record spins around...
Please turn me over! Slide me into sleeve...


Oh girl, Please wait,
Please be Home.

Saw Coheed and Cambria live at the Fillmore Jackie Gleason theater in Miami beach. Its a theater best kniwn for being the set of "The Honeymooners" tv show. Its now the location of the best musical experience of my life.

Unfortunately, today's (technically yesterday's) picture is not of me. No, "The Afterman" is Claudio Sanchez, lead singer and melodic guitarist for Coheed and Cambria. They were mind blowing, and I was right by the stage. It was everything I hoped for and more.

Lacerating pains of degeneration speed through your trembling mind
Still, in machine-like strife you gain another mile
The temporary elusive goal:
To reach the solace,
To feed once more upon the synthetic reaper of loss
No matter the outcome
No matter the cost.

Cold and stinging needs tearing through the halls
Of your defiled
Flesh, made temple- with its closing walls
Still you claim the worshipers pose and you bow
You kneel!

Control: once superior
Now a docile pet at chaos's feet
Pulling the leash as it trails the scent to where all hurt recedes
Your past a blurry patch in mind, your future once;
Now thin dreams filed!
Toward the lights of need you strive
To drink into your vein the shine

Beaten to the unforgiving ground
Lashed into submission by the inner starving demon
By its unrelenting hand
Still you claim the worshipers pose and you bow
You kneel to the syringe!

Answering only to authorities of sedation.
Their calls the only ones heeded
A worn out soldier touched by their contagion.
A battered drone at their feet--You're the one betrayed!
An outcast set afire by your inner war
Your burning self so far astray.
A combustion fanned from within your core.

"In the Desert" BY STEPHEN CRANE

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands, And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;

“But I like it
“Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”

These new days are supposed to be about progress. I'd make better progress if I didnt get on here. Logging onto ET is about as useful as punching myself in the face right now.

Yep. Youre an asshole, and Im an idiot. What else is new? Seriously. You are total waste of my time, and here I am, wasting it on you, anyways. Fml.

Me: *Flails around for attention*
Entire Friend's list at 8:45pm: *no online friends*
Me: *too alone to google forever alone meme* Q~Q

I am seriously starting to hate this site -_-

Do you feel the way you hate?
Do you hate the way you feel?
Always closer to the flame
Ever closer to the blade--
Yeah...

I am poisoned, crazy, lush
Knead these hands to build me up
We are servants of
Our formulaical ways...

I'm screaming Daisies
From fourteen miles away!
I've got my own time
I got it all today!

Make!
Up your mind!
Need some help
To find this mind!
Mind? Mind?

Limber this--and Limbo that
You were this, and you were that
Did you know that what you fear
Is what you'll find?

This hideous summer!
I signed my life away
This greedy fly here
Won't fly away!

Make!
Up your mind!
Need some help
To find this mind!
Mind? Mind?

Make up your mind!
Need some help
Find this mind!
Mind? Mind? Mind?

Mind? Mind?
Mind?

Attention we have got
A medical emergency!
The patient's condition Is critical
and fading

Oh, I've got this under control-- But these is no guarantee
Now should you question thisprofessional opinion
It's time we'll spend wasting

And oh...if you wanted to see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me!

This case is possibly the worst
That I have ever seen
I see how vulnerable we
As people can truly be

And oh, if you wanted to see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me!
And oh, if you wanted to see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me!

Honey! release my heart, if you--
Honey! release my heart- you let me go!
Release my heart if you, Honey!
Do not let me!
Do not let me go!

And oh, if you wanted to see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me.

Defibrillate, defibrillate!
A radio transmission sent
To get the heart to listen

And oh, if you wanted to see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me.

This is love- from a gurney-
oh, This is love- from agony-
This is love- from a gurney-
oh, This is love- from agony

---
shhhhhhhj"DON'T TELL ME THIS HAS MISSED YOU
HONEY, DON'T TELL ME THIS HAS MISSED YOU
HONEY, I WON'T FORGET YOU
HONEY, THIS HAS SLIPPED THROUGH
HONEY, RAN THROUGH MY FINGERS
LIKE YOU..."hhhhhhhss
---

Honey! Release my heart, and if you-
Honey! Release my heart and let me go!
Release my heart, then if you-
Honey! Do not let me--
Do not let me go!

BELIEVE ME
Oh... if you wanna see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me!
BELIEVE IN ME
Oh, if you wanted to see?
Go on and tear it OUT of me.

Hey, everyone! real diary time this time, I swear, no poetic angst!
This time it's satyrical angst! this should be fun and exciting!

I'm being nominated for many new ET awards!!!!!