[BekaBoo]'s diary
Written about Friday 2008-02-08
Written: (6136 days ago)
oh and to update you on the grandmas thing...she died on 2/6/08 @ 3:15pm...messa
ok i havent been on for like almost a week and i already dont want to be on here any more...i was close friends with this guy named ron he has an ET...we used to talk on the phone and stuff and hes promised to come see and when i got on he sent me this message
Ron [Willst du meine Liebe seien?]:HAHA!!! I CHANGED MY FUCKING NUMBER!!! FUCK OFF!!!
no that just hert me reeeeeeeally bad
Okay...theres like 2 people on here that know whats going on...i havent been at school for 3 days. My Oma (grandma) is dieng...the hospise came to the house and set up her "Death bed" for use...im going there to day again for i dont know how long...i was there from 9am to 1am x.x sooooo tierd from that still...well i have to go cuzwere leave for her house again...i hope my cousins amy and Erin are there cuz its sooooo boring with out them and theres like nothing to do except for try and not cry...well i have to go and please dont send me and sypothy messages i really dont need them.
LOVE YA ALL! bye to those people i was talking to ^^
IM FUCKING SICK OF EVERYONE ASKING ME IF IM OKAY OR IF THEY CAN HELP ME WHEN IM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD THAT MEANS TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!!!
~im like a doll to you~
I'm like a doll to you
you use me
you play with me
you get Bord of me
you found me
then you claimed me like i was a doll
a doll in the store
you bought me with
your kiss
that i hate
your touch
that i cant stand
your passion
that isn't real
you brought me home
you told me you loved me
you even gave me
your kiss
that made me cry
your touch
that hurt
your passion
that makes me feel like nothing
I'm like a doll to you
you use me
get Bord of me
get rid of me
watching my lost soul
crumble on the floor
![<img:http://a670.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/37/m_6ea9cb059c1a0547d403ff932d9ccffd.jpg">](http://a670.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/37/m_6ea9cb059c1a0547d403ff932d9ccffd.jpg")
</a><br /><br />i'm sorry that i don't want to have sex every minute of the day.<br />![<img:http://i23.tinypic.com/dz713c.gif">](http://i23.tinypic.com/dz713c.gif")
</a><br /><br src="http://i2![<img:http://a947.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/20/m_0bffb5af58f976285453339213c3e982.jpg">](http://a947.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/20/m_0bffb5af58f976285453339213c3e982.jpg")
</a><br /><br />i'm sorry if my hair isn't long enough.<br />![<img:http://i23.tinypic.com/elbp93.jpg">](http://i23.tinypic.com/elbp93.jpg")
</a><br /><br />i'm sorry if i'm not the "hottest" girl you've ever seen.<br />![<img:http://a318.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/52/m_c3afb58aeba76d6c1e90e0cd8ba1354d.jpg">](http://a318.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/52/m_c3afb58aeba76d6c1e90e0cd8ba1354d.jpg")
</a><br /><br />i'm sorry if loving you isn't enough.<br />![<img:http://a989.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/39/l_668c5b6a8eaffa9ff73400e859f23be4.jpg">](http://a989.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/39/l_668c5b6a8eaffa9ff73400e859f23be4.jpg")
<br /><br />i'm sorry if being your friend through thick and thin makes no difference.<br />![<img:http://a902.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/52/m_adfe825e5e0cf4b880be56655df55cdd.jpg">](http://a902.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/52/m_adfe825e5e0cf4b880be56655df55cdd.jpg")
<br /><br />i'm sorry that i try my best to get you to like me, but then get hurt. <br />![<img:http://i23.tinypic.com/2ir3v40.jpg">](http://i23.tinypic.com/2ir3v40.jpg")
<br /><br /><br />but most of all; i'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are. <br /><br /><big><small>![<img:http://i15.tinypic.com/4v4w4xu.jpg">](http://i15.tinypic.com/4v4w4xu.jpg")
<br /><br />![<img:http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b112/rainbowskyfalls/PICS/sad/abite.jpg">](http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b112/rainbowskyfalls/PICS/sad/abite.jpg")
<br /><br />![<img:http://a380.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/20/l_d33e723b9ddfa0bc0d929409491231f3.jpg">](http://a380.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/20/l_d33e723b9ddfa0bc0d929409491231f3.jpg")
<br /><br />![<img:http://i12.tinypic.com/6g2h5cn.jpg" >](http://i12.tinypic.com/6g2h5cn.jpg" )
<br /><br />![<img:http://a590.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/56/l_732efc11e45530eeab7d653b2d392fc5.jpg">](http://a590.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/56/l_732efc11e45530eeab7d653b2d392fc5.jpg")
<br /><br />![<img:http://a650.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/30/l_ff5b6b3ac23ef4855c24011358d36cb1.jpg">](http://a650.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/30/l_ff5b6b3ac23ef4855c24011358d36cb1.jpg")
<br /><br />![<img:http://a96.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/44/m_730391888cd43771f25718ee3d31792f.jpg">](http://a96.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/44/m_730391888cd43771f25718ee3d31792f.jpg")
<br /><br />and i'm sorry that most guys will read this and post it and may agree with it but after 5 minutes they forget about it and do the same thing all over again. GUYS! just think about it, about how you treat girls. You treat them like shit & all they want to do is be loved by you. think about it.<br /><br />If you're a girl and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry. =["<br /><br /><small>If you're one of the few GUYS with enough balls to repost and you would never make your girl feel this way, repost as "I love you just the way you are.."</small></small> <br /><br /><br /><small>TO REPOST YOU MUST CLICK REPLY TO POSTER AND COPY ALL OF IT THERE TO GET ALL THE CODES.<br /><br />IF YOU COPY & PASTE FROM THIS VERY SPOT IT WILL NOT PUT THE PICTURES, CODES OR SONG ON THE BULLETIN.</small><br /><br />no guy will post this i know it prove me wrong<br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="never" allowNetworking="internal" height="0" width="0" data="http://res0.esnips.com/escentral/images/widgets/flash/esnips_player.swf"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never" />
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dont mind the ones that dont show up
Best friends are forever
Best friends remember
all the things they did together
all the mistakes they made
all the fun they had
No matter how much
there lives change
their friendship remains the same
I know that throughout my life
wherevere I am
I will always remember so mell
and cherish our friendship
as one of the best
I have ever known
okay just to let you know im deleting people that im getting to attached to cuz i dont want my heart to get hert any more that it already is so if i delet you please dont get mad im doing it for my own good
Written about Tuesday 2007-11-13
Written: (6223 days ago)
okay yesterday i was at saras and her dad strarted to yell at her and i was on the phone with y friend ron and when sara left the room he said that i had to get my stuff ready so i said ok and thenh e said that i dont need to yell at him and i didnt so he told me to give him my phone and i said no cuz saras mom said not to give him are phones so i didnt let him have it and then he came up to me and tryed to take my phone and i wouldnt let him and then he grabed me hand and tryed to take it and i wouldnt let him so we were fighting over the phone end then when i looked at my hand it was bleeding
As I sit here in the dark my tears start to fall as I think back on my life. Never once did someone give me the satisfaction of feeling the love that I gave them. Never did they give me the time of day when I needed it. Now I have the loveless emotion....
move outside of myself
extend past my barriers
all deaths, lost loves, skinned knees, smiles, pains, fears and Joys.
From the loudest to the quietest
from whimper to wild gales of laughter
move in me and through me
it is the souls expression
as I place my tears on brushes
and they transform to colors
I could not say which ones I chose or which ones chose me
or if there was any choice at all
as if you could choose which breathe you take.
okay i really hate my mom now im never talking to her agian you would agree with me when i tell you this she stole 30,000 dollers from me and my dad we might even lose the house so we might have to move and if we move were going to move to kansas
A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but
Only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved
him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even
though it meant that he would die.
.....If you love someone this much put this on your site.....
this is so sad it alomost made me cry!!
ok like i said before in some of my old diary's that my mom said that she was going to move out she finally did and now shes all of a suddon say that she misses me and all that crap well im the reason she moved shes sick of me and hate my guts so yeah im soooooooo happy know cuz i dont have to deal with her crap any more!!!!
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
One good thing about Emo guys how arent single:
You look on their profile and find the rest of their hot single Emo friends! XDDD
my friend derek is deeply in love with my friend shiann and he proposed to her and she said yes....just today she broke up with him and now i think hes going to kill him self...FUCK WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN!!!!!-cr
I dont like being put in this position...now she want me to tell him that she wants to brake up with him cuz now he dosnt know...FUCK YOU I ANT GUNNA DO IT ITS YOUR FAULT FOR DINT TIHS TO HIM!!!!!!
Derek:18
Shiann:14
she was daitting 2 guys Derek and Ryan she duped only one of them
Written about Friday 2007-10-05
Written: (6262 days ago)
ive never felt this depressed it my life...i cant even typ :(...there are 3 guys i like and i cant have any of them because one of them has a girlfriend and then other 2 dont live in California...i dont think i can stand it much longer...my heart herts so bad i dont know if ill be able to handle it much longer...there are only 4 reasons i go on here ...and 1 of them is starting to slowly deteriorate...
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!
i swear every time i fall in love i fall right out of it again...I MISS CHRIS and DEVIN!!!!!!!!!
Im on the edge and falling,
and Im sick of feeling numb
help me believe
its not the real me
mabey we can turn it around
cause its not to late
im standing here alone
feeling so stepped on
it wont be long
until Im burning on the inside
I just dont care anymore
that it drags me down
i will not die
we are one
-Rebecca Robbins