okay just to let you know im deleting people that im getting to attached to cuz i dont want my heart to get hert any more that it already is so if i delet you please dont get mad im doing it for my own good

okay yesterday i was at saras and her dad strarted to yell at her and i was on the phone with y friend ron and when sara left the room he said that i had to get my stuff ready so i said ok and thenh e said that i dont need to yell at him and i didnt so he told me to give him my phone and i said no cuz saras mom said not to give him are phones so i didnt let him have it and then he came up to me and tryed to take my phone and i wouldnt let him and then he grabed me hand and tryed to take it and i wouldnt let him so we were fighting over the phone end then when i looked at my hand it was bleeding

As I sit here in the dark my tears start to fall as I think back on my life. Never once did someone give me the satisfaction of feeling the love that I gave them. Never did they give me the time of day when I needed it. Now I have the loveless emotion....

move outside of myself
extend past my barriers
all deaths, lost loves, skinned knees, smiles, pains, fears and Joys.
From the loudest to the quietest
from whimper to wild gales of laughter
move in me and through me
it is the souls expression
as I place my tears on brushes
and they transform to colors
I could not say which ones I chose or which ones chose me
or if there was any choice at all
as if you could choose which breathe you take.

okay i really hate my mom now im never talking to her agian you would agree with me when i tell you this she stole 30,000 dollers from me and my dad we might even lose the house so we might have to move and if we move were going to move to kansas

A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..


Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.


Guy: No, this is fun.


Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!


Guy: Then tell me you love me.


Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!


Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.


*Girl hugs him*


Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.


(In the paper the next day)


A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but


Only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved
him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even
though it meant that he would die.


.....If you love someone this much put this on your site.....
this is so sad it alomost made me cry!!

ok like i said before in some of my old diary's that my mom said that she was going to move out she finally did and now shes all of a suddon say that she misses me and all that crap well im the reason she moved shes sick of me and hate my guts so yeah im soooooooo happy know cuz i dont have to deal with her crap any more!!!!

Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

One good thing about Emo guys how arent single:

You look on their profile and find the rest of their hot single Emo friends! XDDD

my friend derek is deeply in love with my friend shiann and he proposed to her and she said yes....just today she broke up with him and now i think hes going to kill him self...FUCK WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN!!!!!-crys-

I dont like being put in this position...now she want me to tell him that she wants to brake up with him cuz now he dosnt know...FUCK YOU I ANT GUNNA DO IT ITS YOUR FAULT FOR DINT TIHS TO HIM!!!!!!

Derek:18
Shiann:14

she was daitting 2 guys Derek and Ryan she duped only one of them

ive never felt this depressed it my life...i cant even typ :(...there are 3 guys i like and i cant have any of them because one of them has a girlfriend and then other 2 dont live in California...i dont think i can stand it much longer...my heart herts so bad i dont know if ill be able to handle it much longer...there are only 4 reasons i go on here ...and 1 of them is starting to slowly deteriorate...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!but i have no chance with him :(...he knows that i love him very much but we both know i dont have a chance...hes one of the only reasons why im still living but know since i found sonthing out i dont think he'll be able to stop me know...so i dont come on for a long time its either cuz im dead or i just feel like going on at the time

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

i swear every time i fall in love i fall right out of it again...I MISS CHRIS and DEVIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i just want to hid in a corner and die

Im on the edge and falling,
and Im sick of feeling numb
help me believe
its not the real me
mabey we can turn it around
cause its not to late
im standing here alone
feeling so stepped on
it wont be long
until Im burning on the inside
I just dont care anymore
that it drags me down
i will not die
we are one

   -Rebecca Robbins

In the hands of my loved one no harm will come, and in within our entwined fingers I saw my past, present and future.

you can fool yourself
I promise it will help
now every single day
I just wanna hear you saying

laughing through the day
thinking you are never boring
speeding through the night
maybe you not count the morning

there's nothing you can do
to keep it out
there's nothing you can do
just scream and shout

living for today but you just can't find tomorrow
talking 'bout the joy
but it never stops the sorrow

there's nothing you can do
to keep it out
there's nothing you can do
just scream and shout
saying

I'm, so lucky lucky
I'm, so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

even though you said
it would never end it's over
you were smiling on my arm
now you're crying on my shoulder

there's nothing you can do
to keep it out
there's nothing you can do
just scream and shout
saying

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

you can never be forever
good together
young and clever
you can never be forever
but keep it up
don't ever stop
through night and day
the words to say are:

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

ok im getting to suck of my school it seems like there trying to pick on me....evry period i go to all the teachers end up yelling at me for no reason at all...the only class i dotn get yelled at is Art...i have no reason to go to school now since aki isnt there any more

okay today was so fucked up!!!!

today i hate an IEP meeting thing at school.i went and all my mom was doiong was crying and i was the one how was getting yelled at...it seems like there not trying to help it like there piking on me!!!!!!ask [Aki Neko] she know how i feel we go to the same school....O AND I MIGHT BEMOVING TO KANSES WAT EVER THE THAT SATE IT!!!!!!I TOLD MY DAD IM NOT LEAVING SARA [Aki Neko] shes all i have and im all she has!!!!

uhhhhh....just woke up and its 8:30am....i wanna go back to bed but i wanna stay on the computer to....-uses duck tape to keep eyes open- so ya ill write more when somthing actualy happens to day

okay heres a little preview of my life

okay im 14 and my mom hasnt loved my dad for 15years and now she leaving and um....my life is realy swcrewd up and my school is also ruining my life to if you dont know wat im talking about read my last entry...also im going to satr racing soon my next race is going to be on the 22nd...my fucking teachers keep calling my house and saying i need therapy NO TH FUCK I DONT!!!!.....some people dont get that if you dont like me for who iam deal with it no one can change that.....the ONLY people i realy care about are   [InsanityAngel] [Aki Neko] [Waffu] and [Shinju_Rorain] also [Lithium Lullaby] shes my twiiiiiiiiin!!!! so if you mess with them ill fuck you up!!!!!!!!!!! i think ill be ranting in her more cuz it helps me with my anger....ive never typed this much in just one sitting....my butt is getting numb ^^...i might not be on as much tho cuz my MOTHER!!! is being a bitch bout the internet and now i dont get to get on as much my dad is the only one who aclualy letsme on only for an houre tho.....I ♥ WAFFU SO MUCH HES MY ON AND ONLY TRUE LOVE AND I FUCKING CARE WAHT HE THINKS OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EL DORADO CAN KISS MY ASS FOR ALL I CARE

well today my entry is going to be similer to [Aki Neko]'s....Well today me sara and ashley were going to the bike rake to get there bikes cuz i was going home with sara and sara wanted to call here boyfriend langdon after scholl so she used ashleys phone and one of the teachers started to yell at her and tell her to get off the phone so sara did and she went to go hand it to ashley and the teacher took it from her and said that its gonig to the office and sara said give that back thats not my phone and the taecher said i dont care you arent saposewd to have it out during school and sara said that its after school and he said well youir not saposed to have it out until you get out of the gates and then he called the office and said that she was disrespedting the teacher when all she said was "give that back its not my phone".....(yes i know long sentence but i don't care) so me ashley and sara went to the office and i sat down in the office and ashley got her phone back and sara got sent to the principals office and i got kicked out of the office and had to go sit out side....so i did and sara was were i could see her and we were talking and i was cusing my brains out infront of the office and the did do anything but sara was the one who gets suspended and all i get is a slap on the wrist...so after 10mins i go in the office with sara and then we start talking again and then one of the office minions came in and said we need to stop talking and me and sara said wat you dont like wat were talking about and she said no i dont want to here you guys....then we said well the leave cuz she works in the front of the office and the pincaples office is in the back...and then the office had sara call her mom and the her mom wanted to talk to the princaple...so saras mom did and now on monday shes going to go to the school and "HAVE A TALK WITH THEM" yay we have someone on are side now....so that about it and now my fingers hert...

I HATE MY FUCKING SCHOOL

Let me be the one who calls you baby
All the time
Surely you can take some comfort
Knowing that you're mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time

Let me be the one who never leaves
You all alone
I hold my breath and lose the feeling
That I'm on my own
Hold me too tight stay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time

When I'm alone time goes so slow
I need you here with me
and how my mistakes have made
Your heart break
Still I need you here with me
Baby I'm here

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?