Starting awake
I feel a loss
A deep void... of one missing
Master didn't know him
He wouldn't feel this now
I am alone in my sorrow
I sit back
and let forth a heart wrenching cry
my song was mine alone
I had to get it out
to move on
to be able to please
the wolf I wanted to most
to be able to please Him.
My love
my lover
my imprint...
no..
not imprint
a wolf cannot imprint with another
can it?
maybe just my lover
my love
my Master
my friend...
I still have other friends.

Yawning I wake up
He is next to me
Still asleep
or at least I think He is
I can feel His thoughts
Read His dreams?
He's peaceful, that much I can tell
His thoughts have balance
His thoughts comfort me
He is always there for me
Even thinking, even in my human form
Reading, I think His thoughts
I am calmed by Him
I snuggle back close to Him.
I wait for Him to awaken to hear His commands
but until then
I will just listen.

Sniffing the air I realize I'm back in this form.
This is so much more natural
I feel in balance... peace
except not peace like humans think of it
oh no..
Who would want that
Peace.. is balance...
in this form, no matter my emotions, I am balanced
I begin to think about balance
I am calmed
I lay in the grass..
When I close my eyes I see His..
I start awake
I thought He was supposed to be human right now.
Its not that I /didn't/ want to see Him
It was just a suprise
an unexpected suprise
not connecting right away
I let my mind wander back to peace
back to slumber
back to Him
His eyes
My trust

Focusing my energy on myself instead of letting it fuel my anger I start to calm...
He's back from His errands already... He doesn't speak... He waits..

Inside me another fire grows I focus on that
I close my eyes and focus on that...

in my anger I cannot change
well, thats a lie, I cannot change /back/
I seek my human fire

I hear Him breathing quietly... still in His regal wolf form
I am angry... I don't even want Him in the same form as me
and yet... I need Him

I shake the thoughts from my head...
I go back to the golden fire burning
Seeing my human form...
I embrace it..

I am still to angry..
with a huff I move farther away from Him

Settling down I find mysef again
i can't say my true form
I belong to both

but my form I want to be right now

I grasp it

I feel a shimmer in the air just as I begin my transformation back

"Dammit"

I start to run...

He is faster... in human form as well... I concede...
He comes up quietly behind me

Wrapping His arms around my naked body
I struggle a bit

But this is what I want

'No,' something in my mind cries out... but dies

comfort... even from someone I can never have..

is better than my lonely howls.

I growl and snap... I am pacing by myself... There wasn't much of a pack to begin with... but right now the pack is gone... Correction, He is gone... 'Some pack' I think to myself... I snarl and tear the bark from trees... I think about the things He says... it only makes me angry..
Imprinting... its a lie

Maybe life would be easier if I could just look at someone and know they belong to me

and I to them

But I can't know if someone is right for me by looking at them anymore than I can know for sure that I'd like a painting over a granite statue..

I see a rabbit... its done nothing... but my anger has made me hungry

I strike

though after I get done taking out my anger... there isn't much to eat

If He comes back right now... I'll lash at Him, god I wish I had His throat

But he will command me again...
The Alpha is law..
There's no way for me to escape that..

And I don't want to hurt Him...
Just whipe His smug expression to Hel



I growl... then leaning back on my haunches I howl... a long, lost, lonely howl.

Crouching down, glaring... circling slowly, I feel a low growl rise from my throat. I shake my head in anger. I look back up at my opponent seeing His sleek mane and coat, healthier and fuller than mine would be if I had one. He looked calmer, still in charge. I'll wipe that look off His face... He doesn't own me. Part of me remembers... I chose this... He does own me. I shake this thought out of my head again with a growl... that isn't important now. Pawing at the earth beneath my claws I hear His voice again... 'You will do it and you will get better at it. Am I clear?' Get out of my head... I resist His orders... only slightly... When the Alpha says something one cant resist for long. I am very much angry though... I will resist. I snarl at Him and bare my teeth.. this is my last attempt to resist His alpha command. His command weighs heavily down on me, my legs buckle under me, my head bows. He is Alpha, He is Master. Still my mind resists... even if I can't win with my actions... My body... my mind still resists. He pads over to me and pets me with His muzzle. I have enough freedom to move away. He is taken aback, He puts a paw on my back, holding me. I flinch, glaring. 'I won't hurt you' I hear in my head... I know this. God, why does He have to say that now? I snort. I don't need this... when He says He'll be leaving I am glad.
At least when He is gone He has no immediate power over me.
At least when He's gone I am free.


Okay... so this first one isnt a poem, but its what started it all.

I think I am going to start putting my poems in here... so if you want to read them you can.
Meh
Tell me what you think...
I will try and put the up chronologically...
because they relate to one another.

^^