Lonely for Raistlin, so lonely for Raistlin, lonely for the Drow, lonely for Gilthanas, lonely for all. Twisting in lonely circles, around, up and down, trying to get out, away, away, away! Turning in the spiral, lost in the gray maze, loneliness forever, soul drenched in lonely haze.
Pain, pain, go away
Please come back another day
I do not care if rain or shine
But for now leave me feeling fine.
(Not good at all, but hey, it's a moment's work!)
Haven't written in here for a while. My life is a little bizarre at the moment, as I don't even know what I feel like. Confused, I guess. My friends aren't really talking to me much, but [farfy girl] and I have talked and are getting along well again. We both were a bit uptight for a bit, but we've loosened up. Chores to do, so I guess I can write in this later... oh, and I submitted two short stories, including this one, to Raistland. Hope they like it.
Still wishing that they would talk to me. Well, the Drow, at least. I don't want Raistlin to, he's very busy.
Missing those that are my friends on here. Especially Gil.
Apparently people like dark and depressing songs. 4 votes for it out of 12.
I'm feeling really overworked and uptight at the moment. Horribly so. I wish Raistlin could still talk to me. And the Drow.
Busy busy busy, I hope someone will help with the Company soon, it's driving me haywire doing Dilandau's Test and stuff..
The auction wasn't bad, we didn't stay that long. I didn't even finish the book I brought.
Well, we were going to go to the graduation today, but nooo. My parents can't ever decide whether or not to go. So I probably am going to the dumb auction for hours on end and be bored out of my mind. I don't even like the people much except for the cashier, and she can't talk much because of her job. So going is pointless, but my father no doubt will absolutely insist that I go. Not fair at all.
Evanescence is such a cool band! Goth genre. COOL! Especially Going Under.
Here follows the full version of The Continuing Adventures of Dalamar and the Brooms, unedited version. Due to my darn brother being so lazy!
Dilandau wants to take her Test! I just hope she survives. It would be terrible if she didn't. Especially for her. I wouldn't want to fail mine, and I almost did! Yes, i did take my own Test. My char nearly went insane! Luckily, she was able to hold on, but she really does not like being reminded of that ordeal. And nor do I, really! Though if anyone who knows about Dragonlance asks, I may tell them what happened.
I miss Raistlin. I miss the old Nikki. I miss the Carl I knew. I miss Danni. I miss the Drow, and I ache for her. I miss my old friends. I even miss Gilthanas, who I've only known for a very little while. But missing people gets me nowhere. I have to find a way to live even without the people I miss. But I hate being alone! So very alone. I've been alone ever since I've become a teenager, and I'm sick and tired of it! Being alone, without hope of understanding. Then, Raistlin understood. He knew how I was, knew what I wanted, what I needed. Now he only answers when I really need him. But what about me needing him because I'm so alone, so pained? How can I tell him those things? How can I tell him that I miss him so much? He might think that I'm trying to be something else, not his friend, or that I'm trying to play on his emotions. But I need him! I need my friend. I want all of them, but I need him. I need him because he understands, and because he is strong enough to last through his pain. I don't think I am. Why must he only answer when I'm totally broken?
Ouch, that hurt. Still does, but I think I can live again. Now that spot is just empty, empty, empty. And aching. She won't care, though, so why bother? But I don't want to hurt the others here, though I think they'd be happier in the long run if I did leave.
The Drow apparently doesn't care a whit about me, or me leaving Elftown. That's one too many times of being hurt. So I will leave. After all, what's the point of staying? The two people that I thought I knew really well are gone. The two people who I cared so much about, and who I thought cared about me, are gone. One really, the other merely not caring. It hurt so very much when Raistlin left. This hurts less immediately, but I can feel the ache starting already from the place the Drow used to fill. Why this happens, I don't know. Why she didn't tell me earlier, I don't know. But what I do know is that if anyone else does this, I might very well die on the spot. I had a few dreams about the Sorceress, Raistlin, and myself laughing and talking together. That dream is totally shattered. I wish she cared just a little. But she doesn't. All that time of waiting eagerly for the time she gets on is wasted, worse than wasted. At least waste doesn't hurt this much. But anyone who is reading this, please don't blame the Drow. She is right - we do not agree on many things. I just wish she could accept that and try to care anyway.