[Rook.]'s diary
Burning down Neverland, scatter the ashes
white line, black tar, the matches,
is this another dead by misadventures?
Tell me what you got, what you really got....
We'll rest, in our graves
Lexington, across your veins
Sleepers cant jsut wake the dead
When needles and lovers collapse on guilty beds...
Godspeed, Anberlin
In here, in this dismal place, anything goes.
Hope, love, light has long deserted us.
Guilt, lust, darkness have long deserved us.
We have no storyline, no Peter Pan and Lost boys to save us from danger.
Here, we have the Justin Prada and the Lost souls to bring danger to us.
Very few people, wether they be hobbits, monsters, demons, angels, vampires, elves, dwarves, mortals,
or any other mythical creature, they all fall to the same fate of Forgetfulness.
We are Lost. Save us.
Join the throng over at Never-everland
I threw it the rest of my toast.
The cold air tells me Winter is struggling to release its grip on the world.
Spring is here!
^_^
I try to help, and I screw up.
I try to hard... it's not that I care or don't care. I just hate silence... it reminds me of last summer. *shivers*
So, I'm out for a while in a few minutes, maybe longer.
... i need coffee ._.
The Club.
Welcome to The Club.
Got a score to settle? We can help.
Alright, day two of this revelution to use this thing:
I love him, I really do, and he loves me, at least he says he does. We talk for hours, and then he leaves for a week. It wrenches my heart intwo, because I know I love him, but I want him to show me he loves meby at least making a small effort to show up and say hello...
I hope its not to much to ask, though....
I don't know.
Love is a complicated thing. It really is.
so, with that off the line,
the rest is self explanitory.
I hevn't been sleeping well,
I haven't been eating,
I've barely been drinking anything,
and I haven't hardly been able to move with my former grace (XD haha Jking. I don't have an inch of race in me to save my life),
I don't know what's wrong, though.
I don't think I really care.
Love.
Life.
Get One.
Pretend everything is perfect.
Enjoy the small things.
Always remember to smile.
Count your blessings.
Empathize with those who share your pain.
I think I'm going to make use of my diary.
It's here to keep all of my daily thoughts, so, why not use...?
...and I have a lot of thoughts...
...not all of them are intelegent...
...but not all of them are stupid...
...and I CAN come back and edit it later...
2/17
As of the 15th, only one month exactly before I go to Florida. I'm nervous, as might be expected, but my being nervous is nothing new. I get nervous about a lot of things... >.>
On sunday night, Stephany gave me a leather bound journal to use for journaling as well, so I'm using that to keep my poetry.
For years I watched, as he threw his life away. for years I cried, praying for his safety. As he wasted his life, watching is bleed to teh floor, I pleaded on my knees, weeping at the door. For years I watched, and for eyars I prayed, as I watches his life seep away. One day I decided, I would be the one to stop him, I would be the one to...
that was a poem by my best friend the night he got hit by a car and died...
it was in his hand when he died. He was going to come over and have me help him with the last part.
His parents had it with them at teh funeral four years ago on Valentines day.
I just got it today.
it actualy made me smile, because his grammar was atrocious as always.
I love you.
R.I.P Joey.
I miss you like always...
and keep on annoying the crap out of God with your endless questions.
I always did think you looked amazing in a dress. lOlz. XOXOXOXOXOX
Written about Thursday 2009-02-05
Written: (5769 days ago)
WOOT! I’M GOING TO Florida!
So like, seriously. I have this fear of flying, and I am going to fly to FA on March 12- 16th…
My older brother Duckie gave me $50 dollars (to spend on him… >.>) sooooo.. yeah… I’m going to be in Florida, and I might not be online those days…you never know…I might…. So
FOREWARNING!
I love you all. ^^ oh, and Erin, I’ll be in Northern Florida…in Gainsville/bur
^^
1. I am only friends with certain people *
2. I have a slight borderline personality disorder **
3. I can’t function without music
4. I can't listen to audio story tapes at any point in time
5. I have been reading at above a college reading level since 4th grade
6. I go through at least 5 books a day
7. I am very protective of m personal space. I get very uncomfortable being around people.
8. I am the oldest of six kids
9. I know who I am, and I'm not afraid to be me
10. I play piano
11. I play guitar
12. I’ve been playing soccer since i was 6
13. I dislike how I look
14. I draw constantly
15. I love to sing
16. I LOATHE mushrooms
17. I love anything related to scarves and hats
18. I LOVE hugs, both giving and receiving *
19. I am very affectionate *
20. I can sing every song in the movie Pete’s Dragon
21. I ballroom dance
22. I prefer Coca Cola over any other caffeinated soda
23. If I like more than a friend, don’t worry, you’ll never find out, because I choose friendship over relationship ***
24. I like to randomly jump off of things
25. with Suze, my life is like a musical. ****
*Friendly: certain people have to meet my expectations
Friends: People I let invade my personal space with hugs, or just being close to me.
**Its nothing serious, it just means that I am eclectic, with an over-hyper imagination and I prefer to be alone over being with people.
*** I don’t like losing people. If you like me, and I like you, then I’ll think about it, but I prefer to not lose a friend to gain a lover unless you’re serious about making it work.
**** When I’m with my friend Suzanne, we both like to burst out into song and jst randomly dance.
I just realized how hard life really is when you don’t have any ‘real’ friends. I mean the kind of friends who, no matter what, are willing to listen to you cry, or are willing to put up with you at your worst (and willing to SEE you at your worst). The thing is, though, friends aren’t really forever. Family is, though. Friends aren’t. Not the kind of friends I seem to ‘intermingle’ with, anyway.
Intermingle : verb : |in-TURH-ming-
‘the process of talking, chatting, laughing, and over all being friendly with.
SO yesterday was terrible. I found out a person whom I loved as a brother was deceiving me and playing off of my emotions. All night I cried and prayed it wasn’t true, but in my heart I know that it is. That sucks. Also, I went to Kohls, found a TON of clothes, and walked away with NONE of them because THEY DIDN’T FIT. Not exactly a good boost to your ego. When I tried on a shirt, and walked out to show Mum, an older lady in a wheel chair was going by; telling her granddaughter ‘I love little girls and big girls too’, and then she pinched my butt. So yeah, I wasn’t in the best of moods, being deceived, not fining ANYTHING that fits, AND getting my butt pinched is not exactly what you call a good day. The only consolation I have right now is the fact I’m spending the night with a friend and hopefully having a good time.
SO yes…. WARNING…. MOODY MOOD SWINGS DEAD AHEAD!
Alright. Guys, I’m going to be grumpy for the next, well, quite a few days. It is not your fault. Its just what you get for attending an all night lock in with seemingly a million other teens. *sleeps*
*Salad Fingers voice*
Hello there... young child. I...I'm here to inquire... about your Christmas.
*normal Ian voice*
Seriously, though, how's your break going? Mine is going reasonably well, although I'm feeling pretty stressed about all the learning/memor
Yeah, I guess you may have noticed, but I've been on Facebook a lot more than Myspace lately; I've tried to remedy that a bit over break, though.How's life?
*is confused* Salad fingers??
Hello there, not young child… I am here to answer your inquiry… It was Crap. With a capital K
*Likes that voice better*
My break ish alrightish. I’m glad yours is going well ^^ at least one of us will be going into Final prep and final week happy for the other :P
Wow… that is a lot to hold on your plate, but I’ll be the same way graduating next year…
Niiiiceness.
Umm, sadly, we don’t talk on either we need to rememdy that. To quote you :P
Lol. I love Ian. He is the best ^^
Me: Oh…we both died… o.0
Pete: Yea wuddup wit dat...*shakes head* someone has to talk with Hades about this..
Me: I’m sick of dieing. Its getting old…
Pete: truetrue *pulls Zeus by his beard down to earth* smack your brother for me please.Thankyo
Me: giggleS* good thing you weren't talkign about Odin, Thor, adn Loki...Tris would about kill you for that...
Pete: oh well, I wasn't :P and tris can kiss my big toe :P lol jk
Me: *smackiehs pete* don TALK ABOUT MY TRISY LIKE DAT! I pouncie on yous….
Pete: I was just playing *rubs cheek* my cheek isn't the normal color anymore...
Me: *rolls eyes* oh shudup…
I'm still laughing at this...
Written about Wednesday 2008-12-17
Written: (5819 days ago)
Hi. Yeah. I just found out i am a very pathetic individual. All of my closest friends are online. Not that theya re patheic, on the contrary, they are the coolest peopel in the world!!! but the fact that I DONT have friends i can chat with or go be stupid with is rather distrubing to me right now....
Anywhos. In a VERY short while I shall drown out my misery by being in shape (due to repeated trips to the gym during holiday) most of my spare time will most liekly be spent outside running or doing something >.<
I ahve just decided my life goal is one of three or four things:
1: to see the the Church of Sant' Apollinare in Classe in Ravenna, Italy
2:
3:
Okay. *sighs* I have a two week break, and I'm going to go through a withdrawl. I'm not allwoed online during weekends and holdiays, so, if you need anyting, send an email to [tia mia] or [Give Me Red], and tell them what you want, but for others (you know who you are Mr. tibbles and miss Vic and mr. Poe and etc.) if you should EVER feel the need to call, *hint hint* and releive me of my withdrawl (or relive yourselves of the withdrawl that comes with being my friend ;D) message [tia mia] or [poe-corw] for my number (unless yuo already have it...)
I'll be goen from the 22nd sof Dec. to the 6th of Jan.