I've started drills for the national guard. i'm not sure if i'm ready for basic, but i think when november comes around i will be. if i can't just keep on working out and remember why i joined up in the first place i'll be alright. a means to an end is really all this is. college, money, credability in the job market, that's all i'm looking for. and who knows. i might enjoy it all. many who know me, know me as a hippie, or flower child. the furthest thing from a soldier or warrior there is. i prefer not to fight, unless there's no choice. i don't fight because i'm angry, but i get angry because i'm forced to fight. hopefully being a mechanic will allow me to avoid combat while allowing me to do my part for the country and further myself in my own endeavors. i can only wait and find out. I feel i will be doing much meditation in what little spare time i will have at basic. clearing my mind of what's going on and bringing myself back to who i am in the times i will most likely need to. i may becoming a soldier, but i am still very much a hippie. hopefully the two will find some way to coexist as two parts of my being. this will definately be quite the journey.

i've decided to join the national guard and become a tank mechanic. it'll pay for college and pays well. even though basic training might suck i beleive i'm ready for it. this all so i can go to school and eventually work as an animal control and rescue officer for the SPCA. hopefully i can make a difference for many animals. as long as i stay positive about this i'm sure i will succeed.

to my friends i talk to here on elftown, it may be a while before i can speak to any of you again. i wish you all well until then.



We are one
The universe is one
Everything is beautiful

  -The Doors- motion picture

i cannot lean back. not against a wall or a chair, not even a cushioned sofa. i have obtained a terrible scraping all along my spine, recieved from a terrible skateboarding accident, along with a hard smack in the back of the head. fortunately, no permenant damage has been done. but putting on shirts is a pain. hopefully the pain will subside soon and i will be able to lay on my back again.