I looked in your eyes...and inside I died.
when looking in your eyes I see they with burn with such intensity.
it really hurts to have you next to me.
someone who called me a outcast
made me less than what I am.
your condescending words acted as poison
poisoning my heart my mind everything I could ever call my own
and with every word I just smiled and ignored my abasement
you were always the smart and wise one.
and the desire to be better than you just...burns...through my veins
I know one day...One day...I can be better than you
till then I smile and nod and just be by your side.
and every jealous thought or emmitty I just Hide.

I've Become Comfortable with being numb
and I want you to know its all because of you
you were so afraid of being hurt your selfishness got in the way and wounded me.
It pushed my heart in a mistaken illusion of love and I was stuck believing,
that somehow you would change
into the person I thought you were...takeing off your mask....
I want you to say goodbye to this foolish girl
and say hello to a life of loneliness and denial
and know I always trusted you
and loved you...
but being took for granted smashed my heart into pieces
I thought you knew better than that
I want to say I don't love you.
because loving you hurts like hell...
but what else can I do...
but hopelessly love and care for you.
I don't want to admit it
but nows the time
that I stop being in denial about my state of mind.
We need to say goodbye
I need to walk away from you
no its not going to be alright
stop acting so contrite
you only worry for yourself
you stupid love sick child
I wish you heart will never get healed
so you would know how my own heart feels
so you don't need to love me thats okay
I don't need it anyway
it only left me alone and confused
Make friends with loneliness
because its the only friend you'll have
I wish I could say you weren't the one to break me but you broke me
I hope your truly sorry
I never thought I could love someone as stupid as you
so just shut up and stay out of my life forever I never needed to have this unwanted feelings for you
so go away and just say goodbye
you lonely boy.

Well I Feel bad because I've neglected this journal! usually I'm pretty good about writing.Well anyway things now a days are going okay I can't complain! well--I could but choose not to! well I guess I'm writing this to let you guys know I will be keeping one! so if you want to know more about me just read this when it says I've updated bye thank you!

xoxoxooLeaRashayxoxoxo