Sitting here with my baka boyfriend.

I'm not as strong
As I am
As you think of me to be.

Because I'm tired,
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Who I'm supposed to be, is this growing up?
Let me stay a child forever
and fade away with sunset tides

Smile and pretend it never happened
Walk away
Run from the demons of your past
Hide from the demons of your present
And prepare to fight
The ones of your future.

I would destroy the moon, my body, my soul - just to see you smile again.

copy cat, copy cat
rat-a-tat-tat
Running to your own beat, running to your own beat
Smiles hiding the truth, smiles hiding the anger
Smiles hiding the scars, smiles hiding the hurt

Oh, how could you
Leave them waiting
In the cold ground, so empty
So alive
Leave them here to think about the days
that will never come

The fading stars swallowed up by the sun
That is what your life will be
That will be your curse
Your empty promises that they treasured so dear
Forgotten in your future

Copy cat, copy cat
rat-a-tat-tat
Keep walking, keep walking
Away from it all, away from it all
So you can, so you can
get by, get through all of this
get by, get by

Spring, summer, winter, fall
repeat, repeat, repeat
How the years flew by
Still coming by, empty graves
They're not there, but somewhere in the atmosphere
in atoms that you can't see
but they're there, yes they'll always be there

Copy cat, copy cat
The sun still shines, even on the other side of the world
The sun still shines, the sun still shines, the sun still...

Even when it seems too much, just walk
Even if you feel the guilt, just walk
Even if it's crumbling to the ground, just walk
Even if it's weighing you down, just walk
Because the sun still shines even if the stars are out

Copy cat, copy cat
rat-a-tat-tat
Protect the ones that you love, you love
Human lives are so few, so fragile, so fragile
So easily taken away, taken away
You've learned that lesson well, very well

Glory comes at a cost, but it hurts much more
Knowing you could've done so much more
Hiding your face, hiding your shame
Rat-a-tat-tat

You poor copy cat, copy cat
You let her go, let her go
Pay the price, pay the price
of your broken promises, broken promises
You let her go

You give me no hope
Your eyes are like ammunition
When you look at me

Cherry Blossom Blues

It's 4 in the morning
and I'm still up
not wanting tomorrow to come
does that make me weak
or does it make me unsure
of what's to come

but I'm tired
and all I wanna do is go home
but is home here
in this dirty hotel room

so I'll take a look in this cracked mirror
of my former self
wipe away this dripping mascara
hold my head up high
and breathe

drive, keep driving
the roar of the engine
sending me further in this
These petals falling in the windshield remind me of rain
and the sweet smell reminds me of of bittersweet memories
Wipe them away, wipe them away
Don't hold back anymore

keep going, keep going
I'll get there someday
this broken heart of mine will heal

cause it's 4 in the morning
and I'm still up
not wanting tomorrow to come
but I'm so tired and I wanna go home
is home this dirty hotel room

no more, no longer
no more, no longer
cause I'm a little stronger, stronger
I'm better than this, I swear

Wipe away this dripping mascara
tomorrow will come eventually
but not today
and I'll come home to you

Hush, hush baby
Just drift away
in late night tangles

A Brother's Lament

I'll hold you against it, I'll hold you against it
How you left me
With the smell of copper and deceiving words
I'll hold you against it
So simple, but I believed
Your displaced honor
Your shallow pride

All those years ago
Sitting on the back porch
Sunrise licking our faces
Who would've known that the same night
I wouldn't think of you the same again
Leaving me so confused, running through the streets
Calling your name in the moonlight

I'll hold you against it, I'll hold you against it
Revenge for one
Anger in my heart, pride coursing through my veins
I'll take back what you've taken
I'll hold you against it
And I'll make you regret it

Strong, but not strong enough
This isn't child's play
Ice, ice is my soul, I'm not a child no more
Strength is what I need
What I want, what I am
Faster, faster now

You won't get away from me this time
Don't hold your breath
I'm not that naive person I was before
Just accept what I've become, this thing I hold for you
This darkness that clouded over the light
I will destroy what you've become, even if it kills me
Faster, faster now
I won't hold on forever

The deed is done
"I'm sorry, this is it"
I'll collapse in this drunken stupor
Beside you
And we'll laugh like we used to
On those late summer afternoons
Let my calloused heart bleed
Let these broken eyes shed their tears
Revenge is running around in circles
Let them drops of truth fall into the sunset waves

Fire, fire
You smell of smoke
and desire

Porchlight/Searchlight

It's been three years
Since I've seen your face
Look at you
Digging a deeper hole
It's time to come home
We miss you here

I'll find you
Even if I have crawl
Yes, I'll find you
Even if it takes me all
I'll bring you home
Where you'll be safe
So come home

Slip, slipping through fingers
How you left me
Laying there, defeated
Revenge ain't sweet after all
Look at you now
Digging, digging, digging

I'll find you
Even if I have to crawl
Yes, I'll find you
Even if it takes my all
I'll bring you home
Where you'll be safe
So come home, come home

Because I'm your fried
I'll hold you through, your darkest hours
So don't close you eyes to the light
Don't let them deceive you
Cause as long as we're under the same sky
I'll bring you home, I'll take you back.

So you, don't have to fight no more.

Even if I have to crawl
Even if it takes my all
Even if I'm broken down, wearing down
Even if you keep turning your back
I'll bring you home

But if one day
If you change your mind
I'll leave the porch light on
And the front door unlocked

And until that day
Till I'll see your smiling face
When everything's okay

For now these searchlights
Will keep coming for you
But I confess
We're not so different at all

Drowning Man's Song

I fall into your power
Seize me with your grace
Pull me gently down, into your arms

Moon, moon
Sing me a lullaby
As I float into the darkness
Fear no one, see nothing
As your tides rock me to sleep

Further down into the abyss
I am yours, and yours alone
Your sweet, pale face
Smiling down on me
Such no better fate

Moon, moon
Sing me a lullaby
As I float into the darkness
I am no one, know nothing
As your tides rock me to sleep

1.Sex: Female
2.Eyes: brown
3.Age: 17
4.Birthday: June 14
5.Nickname: 'A'
6.Favorite Artist: Musically, drawing..?
7.Favorite Photographer: Don't have one.
8.Lucky Number: 3
9.Favorite Color(s): Green
10.Is true love real?: Who knows~
11.Shoe Size: 8-81/2 depending on brand
12.Favorite Movie(s): Any Anglo-Saxon, Braveheart, P.S. I Love You, Pocohantas.
13.Favorite music: Any, I'm pretty open.
14.Coolest person you met this year: I don't think I met any.
15.Who would you like to meet: He doesn't exist in this world...
16.Who do you admire most: My best friend, Dani. <33
17.Most sexy person(s): My cat.
18.Favorite Plush: My teddy bear.
19.Favorite Cologne: I don't use cologne.
20.Favorite Magazine: Seventeen
21.Favorite sound: Distant thunder
22.Favorite TV-series: NARUTO, grew up on that shizz.
23.Favorite Writer: Too many to compare...
24.Favorite Nickname: 'A'
25.Favorite Song ever: Without You - Lana Del Rey
26.Favorite food: Lo Mein, soup, cherry tomatoes, pineapples.
27.Favorite drink: Water.
28.What do you think is greatest about yourself: My empathy.
29.Most romantic moment in your life: When I went to a christmas event with my current boyfriend.
30.Most embarrassing moment in your life: When I pissed myself in 4th grade.
31.You spend your time rather inside or outside: Depending on the weather.
32.What do you do in the weekends?: Computer, friends, food.
33.What class in school do/did you dislike most: Geometry I
34.You prefer being alone or have relation: Depends on where I am in life.
35.Simple or complicated?: Slightly in between.
36.Cremate or Buried when dead?: Cremated.
37.Stay up late or go to bed early: Stay up late.
38.Light or dark?: Depending how I feel when I got to bed.
39.Speak or Silence: Silence.
40.Newspaper: Nothing good comes from it.
41.Hug or kiss: Hug.
42.Happy or Sad: Both. Without sadness, you can't have happiness. And without happiness you can't have sadness.
43.Life or Death: Living is cool too.
44.Jig or Disco: Hmmm, depends.
45.Left or Right: Right
46.What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question:
47.You believe in reincarnation: Yup.
48.You believe in Aliens: We can't be the only ones here. But being alone and being not alone is quite scary.
49.When you die, what will be your last words?: Who knew.
50.Best feeling: Being appreciated.

I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm going to be pounded with questions.
Grounded with whys.
And smashed with laughter.



I made a total fool out of myself today.... X[[[

[If you had me alone, locked up in your room for 24 hours, and I had to do whatever you wanted me to do, what would you do with me?]

a=apocalypse
b= barretone
c= car crash
d= darlinn''
e= elite
f= fog
g= go go speed racer
h= hell
i= intelligent
j= just me
k= Kind
l= life
m= Mop
n= Nothing
o= Oh snap
p= please
q= quarter
r= razor
s= small
t= To and from
u= Under the stars
v= Vigilante
w=what comes next
x= xylophone
y= your mom
z= zebra